What was I thinking??

  • So I've only been back at this for about a week or more maybe, and I guess old habits die hard. I was doing very well, and then yesterday I screwed up. I got out of my History final in college and I hadn't eaten lunch yet.. in fact I hadn't eaten anything all day and it was past 2pm. I was sooo hungry. I almost got vending machine food but I thought "no, I need to wait until I can get something proper or I will regret it." and I made my way to the front of the building and there was a fundraiser for the Art club.

    They were selling Christmas goodies, and I am a big supporter of the Arts (My dad did oil painting, my sister is a freelance artist and I used to be in college for graphic arts so it runs in the family i guess). They were also taking donations but I don't know what I was thinking. There were little baggies of no-bake cookies, one of my absolute favorites. I grabbed up 2 baggies (2 big cookies each) and gave them a donation of 5 dollars. I KNOW i should of said "No thanks (on the food) but here is 5 dollars donation" but I didn't even realize what I was doing until I was devouring the first cookie. If you don't know what a no bake cookie is, they are almost entirely sugar peanut butter and chocolate chips and a little bit of granola that's been melted and mixed together and allowed to cool in 'cookie' sized blobs. I ate all four of those cookies even after I caught myself. I kind of got into this mindset of 'oh well, I already ate one and I paid for them, and they are really delicious. I probably won't have them again for a long time (that was a lie, we make them every Christmas at my house) and I don't want to throw them away"

    Then on the way home my mom suggested stopping somewhere for food. I had my mind set on subway because I know that it of all places at least has some healthy options and I was in the mood for a sandwich, but I opted to go home and eat leftovers instead because I was afraid I would get something stupidly unhealthy. So I got home and what did I warm up? Mexican lasagna (it uses tortillas rather than pasta, but moving on) and a side plate of home made left over starchy mashed potatoes and real fat laden gravy from the pot roast my mom had made the other night. And so I ended up doing the very thing I had set out not to do, on both occasions.

    But theres more, my mom got on a chocolate binge and bought 2 bags of reese cup minis and left one bag out open on the counter, and like an idiot I ate at least 2 or 3.

    Granted, I dont think I had too many calories, because I hadn't eaten all day, but it was not a good day for healthy eating and I feel stupid.

    What is important however is that today I'm back on track. I had kashi cereal this morning with a banana and a chicken sausage for lunch on whole wheat bread, so feeling better now...it just still irks me.
  • It happens to all of us. There has been TOO many days to mention when I have gone so off track its not even funny. You cant let it push you down you have to brush yourself off and start over. I have been doing this for 2 years off and on and I know how hard of a struggle it is sometimes and I know how easy it is to get off track. It can be done, just tell yourself you wont let it happen again and get back to work. Good luck!
  • Thats sux, but you are doing great to recognize it, at least. I would like to point out, that to me, at least, i think it looks likeyou ate WAY MORE calories than you realize--which is a problem for so many people. You said you didnt think it was that much, but to me, 4 no-bake cookies (with peanut butter and butter and sugar?) are prob at LEAST 1000 cals, PLUS lasagna and reeses pieces, etc etc......

    What happend to you is a classic example of why i refuse to allow myself to have even ONE BITE of something high in fat AND sugar together. It sets me up-- it PRIMES me, so to speak, and then i become unable to control myself and go on a binge. I know that i cant even have ONE--- of ANYTHINg---- EVER!! Whether it is a cigarrette, a beer, a pieve of chocolate, a handful of cereal, whatever.

    Keep working at it!
  • Well, good for you for moving on! It happens to everyone, but the difference is some fall off the wagon completely afterward, and others pick themselves back up by the boot straps and keep going. Sometimes, both happens to people.
  • You're talking to the girl who had two (yes two) margaritas last night, coupled with the largest burrito I've seen in my life. On the day I was supposed to be back on plan.

    But here is the thing. You didn't put all your weight on in one day. You're not going to lose it all in one day. And realistically, you didn't do that much damage yesterday. Plus, you learned a lot from it. You need to be more careful about packing yourself snacks that are healthy, to avoid being so hungry you can't make smart choices.

    Today is a new day. Move on, don't beat yourself up and stick to your plan today. And tomorrow. And the day after....
  • I think that this had a LOT to do with the fact that it was 2pm, you were starving, and you'd skipped meals earlier in the day.

    When we're hungry, our bodies start throwing out signals that we need to refuel. Those signals make high fat, high calorie foods more appealing (because remember, the body is designed to keep you from starving, and it thinks you're not eating because there isn't any food around, so it entices you biochemically to start looking for food). Then, when you see a high-cal food, you jump at it, because that's what your body is telling you to do.

    For me it was so important to keep myself from ever getting to "starving". Once I got to that point, making healthy choices was infinitely harder than it needed to be. If I eat on a regular basis, my body never starts screaming out for the junk in the first place.
  • Quote: I think that this had a LOT to do with the fact that it was 2pm, you were starving, and you'd skipped meals earlier in the day.
    Well, this wouldn't of happened except I procrastinated on my studying and i got up and started studying first thing in the morning. I had intentions of eating in that time but then it got to be lunch time of course..I had to be at the college at noon and I thought I would eat something before I left for the test, but I pushed my study time too long. When I was packing up and getting ready to leave I got in an argument with my mom because I was trying to find the receipt for my books so I could sell them back that day to the college book store. I knew exactly where what i thought the only one was, but I had forgotten that she and I had split the cost and she paid for the other half of my books and had another receipt - I had forgot it even existed. It blew up into a big deal that I had waited till the last minute (which I had, but I didn't know I needed a second receipt or I wouldn't have waited) like a lot of things do between me and my mom and I sort of forgot about eating and lost my appetite, at least until I had calmed down and was half way through my test.

    I'm not making excuses, but I'm just saying that it all goes back to not just how I eat but my other activities too that. I have to be more careful of those things too than I ever realized, because when I eat depends on my schedule. I guess its all part of the experience...

    Also mkroyer, I know exactly what you mean by not having one of anything, it just got the best of me this time. I know it sounds weird that just before (on the elevator ride down to the first floor actually, I know guilty, i should of taken the stairs) I was thinking that I could not eat something I regretted from a vending machine, but in all seriousness in the minute or two time between the elevator and walking down a hallway to the front of the building I had moved on to other thoughts and didn't realize what I was doing when I got up to that table and I just kind of lapsed into my old thinking and bought the cookies and started eating them without realizing that I was basically self sabotaging. What gets me is that I justified eating the others after I snapped out of it.. but life goes on I suppose.
  • It may help you to have something, always, that you can grab and eat quickly when you have zero time. I use a packaged, ready to go protein shake for this, but it can really be anything that you just need to grab on your way out the door with zero prep. Even if I'm not hungry at the moment I grab it, I throw it in my purse and go on my way. Some people here always carry a snack (I know some use "snack boxes" in the car to store non-perishables like protein bars or shakes) just in case this sort of situation comes up.

    I try not to use protein bars or shakes all the time because they are processed and I do try to stick to whole foods whenever possible. But when I'd been prepping Thanksgiving stuff all morning, running around like a crazy person, and was running out the door with 2 seconds to spare, knowing that I'd about to be facing a giant spread of unhealthy options, I was very glad I could grab a protein shake to drink in the car. That let me go into the less-healthy eating situation with something in my stomach, which made it much easier to resist.

    It's all a learning experience. Now that you've learned that overhungry = less than ideal food choices, you know you have to plan ahead as much as possible to avoid getting that way in the first place.
  • I am glad that you recognized this and now you probably wont do it too soon in the future! I am glad you are back on plan for today, learn from this! But at the same time dont beat yourself up
  • I have the same tendencies so now I've started to pack my purse. I pack a Kudos bar (100 calories and tastes great! Def satisfies my sweet tooth), a piece of fruit and a bottle of water. This helps hold me over so I don't derail myself. Good luck!
  • One thing I noticed about reading your post (since all the other great points the other ladies made above me have been expressed! ) was how you described the food. It reminded me of me... how I used to think about food, how I used to describe food, even in my blogs... until I realized I was obsessed with food. When I realized how obsessed I was with it... I began reminding myself on a daily basis:

    "Eat to live... don't live to eat."

    It's helped me, a lot.

    And also... KUDOS on picking up and getting right back OP the next day!!! That's the most important thing, I'd say, after realizing your mistakes and committing to fix them!