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-   -   I am so angry right now! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/186981-i-am-so-angry-right-now.html)

stargzr 11-24-2009 01:51 PM

I absolutely LOVE paris' idea... wear the same one every day. Although I think I would continue to wear what you currently do. Then if/when approached about it, let your management know that you don't have the cash to go out and buy new tops and ask for their suggestion on the subject.
As a side note, you can always try thrift stores for inexpensive tops. You can usually get them for $2-3 each.

Windchime 11-24-2009 01:52 PM

Good points, Kaplods. I did something the other day that I swore I would never do, and that is shopping at Ross. It usually just looks like a jumble of junk and I don't have patience for that, but a co-worker came in wearing a cute new top every day last week, and that's where she bought them.....Ross. She spent under $100 and bought 7 or 8 new tops, a purse, and a pack of dishrags.

So I went in and spent maybe 20 minutes browsing. I came away with 2 really nice sweaters for $35. One was marked with an original price of $98. (!!!!!???!)

So try Ross as well. I was suprised. Yeah, there was a lot of junk but there was also some stuff that wasn't bad at all.

bargoo 11-24-2009 03:47 PM

I was a branch manager at a credit union, one day one of the tellers showed up with a bare midriff top ! Not appropriate, another day a teller showed up with low cut jeans that showed her navel, again not appropriate. ! OK for casual wear , but not in a business office. Places of business that require a certain type of clothing are not just being mean and arbitrary, they want to preserve a certain atmosphere depending on the business. It doesn't have to be expensive , you can get by on one outfit if you want to wash it every day, 2 or 3 inexpensive outfits should get you by.

sunflowergirl68 11-24-2009 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beerab (Post 3024030)
Honestly I'd continue to wear what you are and if your boss says anything say "I can't really afford an entire new wardrobe at the moment unless DB would like to give me a check for clothing."

I had a job like that, all of a sudden everyone had to wear these black shoes that I couldn't afford- so I took my shows and covered them in black tape. When the boss asked me why I did that I said "that's what I can afford" he laughed and said carry-on and never bugged me about my shoes again lol.

I mean seriously as long as you are nicely dresses who cares what the material is made out of?

Does anyone at work feel the way you do?

BTW I like paris's idea also.


Yeah, pretty much everyone feels the same way. But the thing is, i can't tell my managers that I can't really afford it (even though I can't) is because I work full time and get paid a lot. And I know they'll give me crap for it.

Exactly, if I am dressed nicely, who cares what the material is made out of? I don't understand how that is less casual than say, chiffon.

sunflowergirl68 11-24-2009 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HaleyisLove (Post 3024082)
I would just continue to wear what you normally wear... They may not even notice and if they do just play dumb and say oh I didnt think there was a problem with it... I also like the idea of wearing the same shirt everyday... I think that will prove a point

Oh they'll notice... I came to work yesterday wearing one of my nicer shirts in that material (I actually didn't really even understand what they meant by "t-shirt material") and the store manager and assistant manager came up to me and said "You do know what we talked about in the meeting about dress code, right?" And I had to play dumb and say i didn't know what they meant by it and they told me not to wear it anymore even though they're giving us until january.

sunflowergirl68 11-24-2009 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bargoo (Post 3024217)
Try to remember you are working in a bridal shop where the wedding gowns are the stars here . I think it is perfectly appropriate that the staff wear understated clothing . I have seen worse clothing requirements than what you describe. You can keep your favorites to wear away from work. I say "go with the program " . There are people out there who would be so happy to find a job, they wouldn't mind wearing a "uniform".

I've had it worse too, and it's not about being understated, it's about being over-the-top nice. At one job I had, I had to wear a white button-down tuxedo-style shirt and black pants. But i just really have a problem with this because I've been working there for 8 months and bought specific clothes for work that happen to be that material and I normally don't wear them out of work and now i can't wear them anymore.

sunflowergirl68 11-24-2009 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaplods (Post 3024349)
I agree that in this economy, with so many people laid off and looking for jobs - restrictions or not, I wouldn't quibble over a dress code, unless you can afford to be indefinitely jobless.

Would your boss fire you over a dress code violoation or a symbolic protest such as dying your hair black or otherwise following the letter of the rule, but not the spirit? Maybe not, by image is always a large part of any job, and the company gets to decide what that image is. Being an irritant to your boss, is always a risk - because when it comes to layoffs and promotions - how much or how little frustration you've caused your boss can play a bigger role than even the boss may realize.

There is absolutely no reason that you have to " spend hundreds of dollars on new clothes." That's a big conclusion you're leaping to. If you have at least one top that fits the rule - you don't have to buy anything. If you have two or three, you absolutely do not have to buy any more.

If you were to wear a top all day, you'd generally wear it for about 16 hours, so if you only wear your work tops for 8 to 10 hours, you can probably get away with wearing work tops twice before washing unless you're extremely prone to smelly sweating. Take off the top as soon as you get home. Put it back on a hanger and put it back in your closet (if you have fabreeze or a spray wrinkle releaser, give it a light misting before putting it in your closet).

If you want to keep track of which ones have been worn once (and don't want to resort to the simple, but effective visual inspection and sniff test) - buy a package of hangers in a different color than most of the ones in your closet - or tie a colored ribbon around the neck of hangers that are holding once worn tops.

You can also go to Goodwill and other thrift stores and pick up very nice tops that will fit the bill, and will look brand new. Check all the thrift shops in your area, because some will have much lower prices than the other.

Or check yohoo groups to see if you have nearby Freecycle group. On freecycle requests and offers must be free.

The thrift and consignment shops are PACKED with great stuff right now. Even I have been able to find gorgeous, never-worn looking clothing in my size (which I almost never find. I'm sure it's the economy. In the consignment shops some are trying to make a little cash from clothing that doesn't fit, and donating what the consignment shop doesn't take). Knowing that the economy is tight for many, may even inspire those who aren't having trouble to donate rather than discard unwanted clothing that is still in good condition.

I bought two gorgeous sweaters, and a very nice top, each for less than $4.50. There were dozens of tops, slacks, and dresses to choose from in my size, some quite dressy. The selection in smaller sizes was even more awesome - and even cheaper.

You don't get it, it's not that I don't like the dress code, it;s that I have to spend money that I don't have that could be going towards my credit card. I'm in debt, and I have to spend money on clothes when the ones i have are perfectly fine in my eyes.

And yes, she would fire me over dress code. And yes, I do have to buy more because I also can't afford to wash them every day, and that also damages the clothes (three of which already have holes in them), and I'm not sure if they're even appropriate, save for one, but they still might object to it.

Yeah, Goodwill really isn't an option, I've been to thrift stores in my area and it's slim pickins. I live in a more rural area, and there just aren't nice clothes there because people just don't buy nice clothes and donate them. And they smell, no matter how much you wash them. No consignment shops here, either.

stargzr 11-24-2009 05:42 PM

WOW! With all that information it seems there's no getting around buying new clothes for you. I'm not sure where in Cali you are, but there should be Wal-mart and Target nearby... Shop their clearance racks. If they're giving you until January you might just be able to nab a few choice tops to make it work. I also second the idea of wearing them more than once prior to washing. I don't sweat unless I'm running or seriously working out, so I can get away with 2-3 wears between washes. So if you can find just five tops at $4-5 each, you could make it a couple weeks between washes and only spend $20-25. I would also suggest the possibility of making your own tops (patterns for 99cents, materials on clearance), but that's just because I'm artsy, fartsy. :p

**ADD: I've also found some really, really good sales at New York & Company - $5 sweaters anyone? I LOVE that store!

kaplods 11-24-2009 05:59 PM

I think it's you that doesn't get it. I didn't just give you cheap options, I gave you FREE options also.

Freecycle would be perfect. You explain your situation and list what you need, asking for clothing in your size. And you could give away the clothes you won't be needing anymore (or sell them to a consignment shop or on Craig's List - though on Freecycle iif you get free, it's good manners to give free).

If you have friends, family, acquaintences or coworkers who are your size, or might have been your size, or might know someone your size - there are so many options for organizing FREE clothing swaps. If you're needing new dressier tops, there are countless people in your area who are needing new clothing to dress DOWN for a new job. It isn't that hard to find them - I know I've done it, in towns so small they didn't even have a Walmart within an hour's drive.

You could shop ebay, and buy gorgeous (even designer) stuff very cheaply - especially if you shop the late hours and week nights when most people aren't shopping. Look for auctions that end at weird times, or sellers that are new (many buyers avoid shopping with new sellers, I've never had a problem).

I don't believe that there are no quality thrift and consignment stores, within three hours of your home - and you should be able to find a friend or family member willing to make a road trip.

That you know you WILL be fired if you don't adhere to the new policy, you don't have a choice. That's just the way it is. You can leave the job or you can suck it up.

It doesn't matter if in your eyes, the clothing you have are perfectly fine. You can be angry, you can gripe, but it doesn't matter what you think. It's a business decision the company made, and it doesn't have to make sense to you. It just IS.

I've had to do far, far worse for crappy jobs - that's just life, especially when the economy is tight - but it can happen anytime to anyone. Mandatory job transfers across country, turn about changes in job requirements, forced education classes (that you have to pay for)... stuff happens - you can quit if you've got the resources (but if you can't afford a few new tops, you certainly can't afford to quit without another job offer).

It seems no matter the suggestion, you find a way to shoot it down, and it's made me a bit angry now, myself. I've sympathized and offered suggestions to be he lpful, and all you've done is tear down the suggestions and tell me I Don't get it. I certainly DO get it, because I've been there many times myself - you suck it up and make it work, or you don't have a job. Simple as that.

L144S 11-24-2009 06:02 PM

I think everyone has a different definition of "nice" and unfortunately for you, DB is telling you what they concider "nice". don't get fired over this or you won't be paying off any of your CC debt and keeping your job is worth a few new blouses. just my 2 cents

JulieJ08 11-24-2009 07:59 PM

Wow, I think she gets it that she doesn't have a choice. She just wanted to gripe a little and get it out, we all do that.

Personally, I think a 6 hour road trip is a *huge* imposition on a family member for a small collection of cheap shirts. Honestly, I find that kinda crazy. The gas will cost more than the clothes. And I think it's quite common not to live in town, or even in the same state, with a family member.

kaplods 11-24-2009 09:45 PM

It isn't the griping I had a problem with, it was the comment that I "don't get it," (yes, I do) and the trashing of every suggestion that was offered - every single one.

I have a hard time believing that NONE of the economical suggestions offered were workable - not a single one. The only choice is to spend hundreds of dollars? Really?

Yep, a 6 hour road trip is kind of rough - but where in Southern California is more than 90 minutes from economical sources of clothing? And even in the outback of Alaska - ebay, Freecycle, Craig's List, church thrift shops, word of mouth between friends.... there are always alternatives to spending hundreds of dollars on a few tops in order to keep a job. Of all the things a person can be asked to do to keep a job, buying three or four tops isn't all that tragic (even if it does require 6 hours of travel).


Gripe away, but give a people a little credit for trying to help without telling them they "don't get it," and trashing every idea presented.

David's Bridal shops are not built 3 hours from civilization. If there's a David's Bridal, there are also dozens of local options for inexpensive, nice clothing in the surrounding area (I would wager 30 minutes AT MOST). And many are so dirt cheap they're practically free - and then there are the FREE options, like Craig's List, Freecycle, and tacking a note up at the local library, grocery stores, college and technical school campuses, not to mention word of mouth ....

There are so many FREE options, that YES I'm a bit offended that I was told I "don't get it," with the implication that all of the suggestions I and other posters made were entirely worthless.

Griping and venting are fine, but dismissing reasonable solutions, is deciding you want to be miserable, instead of making the best of the situation, and trashing suggestions - even if they're not helpful is just plain rude.

Am I taking offense unreasonably, am I overreacting? My guess is YES, but I have a half dozen friends right now who are out of work - and trying to support families. They would happily travel 3 hours just for the chance to have a job.

I not only GET that sometimes a person has to go to unreasonable lengths to keep a job, I DO find it a bit offensive when a person rejects out-of-hand each and every suggestion made.

stellarosa27 11-24-2009 10:16 PM

Going back to the wearing the shirts more than once, if you wear a tank top or a t-shirt underneath you may get away with keeping them "cleaner" for longer.

sunflowergirl68 11-25-2009 01:35 AM

Well I ended up going to Kohl's and opening a charge card and I got some good stuff, and I saved 20% on everything today.

@Stargazr: I would love to make my own clothes, but I don't own a sewing machine. There are sewing machines at work (we have an alterations department) but I can't use them. And I think my mom got rid of hers because she never used it.

motivatedbride 11-25-2009 07:32 AM

I have to agree with Kaplods and Windchime's thoughts. You may not necessarily be in violation of their new dress code. You should politely and professionally speak with your manager about it to see. If she confirms that you need to abide by these new rules, either hop on board with it...or don't. Just note anyone saying keep doing what you're doing or rebel may not have ever worked for a business with a corporate office overseeing, or for a corporate headquarters directly.

I work in a corporate headquarters in HR so we have to set the bar agree with it or not...(chances are the ones relaying the new rules might not even agree). But they are your employer and as Kaplods said, in these times, employers do not need much of a reason, if at all, to replace someone who "sticks out" or doesn't want to follow policy. Even just an attitude about the company's standards can be viewed as not being a team player. With the unemployment rate and the enormous number of available and very willing workers, none of our jobs are "secure".

Sorry to be a debby downer....but again, before doing anything, find out if you are in compliance with the new policy, and go from there. Since business casual does not necessarily promote individuality and style (although with money you sure can) but since that seems to be the issue, you can certainly get away with 2 or 3 shirts that you can rotate. Good Luck!! I'm gonna finish getting ready for work and get my business casual on :)


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