RN:
Hmmm. I see what you mean, I'm sure some guys definitely do that intentionally.
But for me, coffee is just a safe bet. I've done the coffee date a few times off of POF, and I'm often just shockingly grateful that the date is SHORT and SWEET if it turns out that I have absolutely no interest in the guy's personality. To be honest, after 15 minutes, if I'm staring at him, listening to him talk and TRYING to convince myself to be attracted to him (personality AND looks), then I know it's not happening. And I'm glad that the date is just a coffee, and not a whole night where a guy who I KNOW I'm not interested is paying for a whole meal for me!
Soleil... I've done the online dating thing, and it is really horrible to try to find that delicate balance between pics that make you look gorgeous, and ones that you think are "realistic," especially if you (like me) think that the double-chin ones might be more realistic.
Yes, attraction is important, but a good guy won't stress over you being a bit overweight. A good guy will be looking to find someone who he enjoys being around... so be yourself, get the conversation flowing, and worry less about what he thinks of you... and more about whether you think this guy could be right for YOU!