Yeah, it depends on how it's being said. If someone says, "Wow, you look great!", then I'm totally cool with that. But it's when the gushing starts: "No, SERIOUSLY, I can't BELIEVE how good you look! I just can't get OVER it!" That's when I get bugged because they ARE saying, "You were so fat before, I can't get over the fact that you're not any longer."
So yeah, tell me I look great, but there is no need to go on an on about what a huge IMPROVEMENT it is over how I used to look. I was fat. I get it.
When I was a kid, my high weight was 210 pounds. Then I lost 65ish pounds and everyone kept saying the usual "Oh my, you look so good!" But, along with that was "God, Jess, you used to be really fat." And, of course that hurt. I understand that they're only, in as backwards of a way as it is, trying to tell me how much weight I've lost.
Regardless, I was always left thinking: "Well, when I was bigger, everyone said I was just fine the way I was. Now they're taking it back?!" It's a sad time.
But, in the end, they're not trying to hurt your feelings. I think they're expecting that you'll jump up and agree with them. Tell them, though. It's true, you're still you, just smaller.
Well I lost like 60-70 pounds once, and then regained it all back and about 15 more. I guess the silver lining is that (as a normal weighed person) I could/ was allowed to see who mock the 'fat friends' behind their back, and those who actually choose not to say anything regardless.
It's somewhat enlightening in a way, and can't help but wonder did they mock me the same way when I was holding the 'fattest' ball?
But yes, some people just don't intend to be malicious, they're just ignorant and/or uninformed. Or insensitive.
i think even though it does sound hurtful to hear those comments, but what they actually mean is that look how far you've come, they're proud of you.
We all say that words are just words and meaning is more important right?
But without choosing right words, the meaning just never seem to cross to our head lol.
I have a different sense of humor, and I'd probably laugh and say "Yeah, i was! Holy crap!" If she was trying to get a rise out of you, if you said something like that (non sarcastically) it would have thrown her off. If she accidentally said it mean, you'd be agreeing with her compliment.
Plus, the way I look at it... there's no sense in denying that I'm fat. I know I am, and I am striving not to be.
Last edited by sunflowergirl68; 08-28-2009 at 04:32 AM.
I think its usually meant as a compliment. Even if its a bit snide, honestly if you took the effort to lose the weight......you weren't happy being that big either.
I guess the silver lining is that (as a normal weighed person) I could/ was allowed to see who mock the 'fat friends' behind their back, and those who actually choose not to say anything regardless.
