I do psychology- same issue! Try going to the engineering department No really
LOL so true
I met my bf at my part time job 4 years ago. We were (are) both students but studying in different fields. My ex and I met at school before that so those are the 2 places I've met guys.
I would also tell you to not try too hard and just go have fun! If you project positive energy and self confidence, the guys will just gravitate towards you. I know it sounds weird and not everyone believes in that but I'm a firm believer that the universe gives you what you give it. No, I haven't read "The Secret" but I hear that's what they say in there too.
As for the dating sites.. I'm not sure how I feel about them. I know a guy who's on one and he just goes through pictures of girls and zooms in and inspects every inch of them. It's a bit weird and creepy. So just be careful. I know a lot of people have found love on those sites too so that's why I have mixed feelings about them.
I'm relieved to see I"m not the only 20-something having this issue. I live in VT and meeting people is HARD, but I also grew up in DC and have a lot of friends still living down there, and when I go visit I don't imagine it'd be any easier. Sure, there are more guys, but you have to sift through so many more sketchy ones. The ones that do meet people tend to do so through Nifty (a Jewish youth organization; there seems to be an active Jewish network down there and I know a girl who has been through literally every eligible guy on J-Date) or after work social kick ball league.
For all those social science ppl out there, my parents met doing social work in Harlem, so maybe you just have to wait till after school and meet someone in the field
I met my current bf through a friend--she went to JMU in VA with his best friend (he and his best friend just happen to be from MD as well; I'm from Bethesda originally and he's from Germantown) and she was introduced to him at a party in DC. When she came up here to visit me for 4th of July last year, she invited him along since he was working in upstate New York at the time. So very random. I had just signed up for OK Cupid and had no luck (my roommate has actually had good luck on J-Date up here) and then I met him.
I don't feel a whole lot of pressure on the marriage front; only 1 of my high school friends is married and it was a shotgun wedding. My first college friend just got engaged last month. I'm a little younger than you, Stella, but don't worry, you're not the last single 27yr old!
As for meeting friends, I'm really worried about that. I still live in my college town (I'm 24 and graduated 2 years ago) and the last of my friends are finally moving away. I may try to look up an outdoor club, since there's lots of stuff to do outdoors here and I love hiking/biking/canoeing.
Last edited by forestroad; 08-18-2009 at 09:55 AM.
As for the dating sites.. I'm not sure how I feel about them. I know a guy who's on one and he just goes through pictures of girls and zooms in and inspects every inch of them. It's a bit weird and creepy. So just be careful. I know a lot of people have found love on those sites too so that's why I have mixed feelings about them.
Yeah, I really think a LOT of guys do that. I'm not going to self-depreciate myself, but I think that the reason I *don't* have a lot of success on those sites is that I'm not the smallest girl around. There are a LOT of guys out there on those sites who, using looks ONLY, don't want a "bigger" girl. Now, in person things are different, because then you have personality, self-confidence, etc. to go on, but you miss those things on internet sites.
Forest - I didn't know you were from Bethesda! I'm not from there, but I live/work nearby. Its such a cute place.
I think when this whole house/school hullabaloo thing dies down, I'm going to join an outdoor club. I like being outdoors, I have some semblance of confidence when I'm doing stuff like that, and a lot of the silly, girly girls that I'd be in competition with at the local bar are no where to be found Plus, I want a guy who likes a girl who doesn't mind getting a little muddy from time to time.
Hah, I guess "cute" is one word for it. Until I was 12 I lived in upper NW DC, and for some reason in elementary school (in Bethesda), that was like, so totally uncool. Then we moved to Bethesda and in high school (also in Bethesda) it was like, all of a sudden cool to be from "the city". Sheesh I don't miss being 16. Well except for the part where I was a size 6. Le sigh.
Heh we used to go to a club in SE in high school that has since closed...I can't imagine what our parents were thinking letting us go...I can't believe I actually told my parents that's where I was going, either.
Now if I'm visiting ppl we generally stick to Adams Morgan or Dupont...but it can be kind of a douchey crowd, depending on where you go (so now I actually generally stick to catching a movie at Bethesda Row). If you go out in Adams Morgan, you have to get a Jumbo Slice...if you're on WW, save some points for it!
I met the guy that I'm currently with online as well. He was my best online friend (we met via an ex of mine, they WERE friends ) for about 2 years, always there for me etc, and when I quit despairing over trying to find someone and be happy..... I realized he'd been there all along. We've been together the past year now, and I've never been happier. Now if only we could live closer... *sigh* One day maybe...
I'm a firm believer that life is different for everyone. There is no set time for each person to meet their special someone, or do anything in life really. We all walk different paths. I also seriously believe that when you quit looking for something so hard and focus on you, your life, and your happiness.... love will find you.
I met my boyfriend online too! Craigslist actually... We've been together 3 years and now it seems Craigslist has gone downhill... it really depends on the city.
My friend had a lot of success with OK Cupid and met her current bf on there.
As for meeting people--join stuff! Go to like, a book club, on a group hike, meetup.com. My friend met a few platonic friends doing meetup.com in Chicago. It sounds like you need some single friends. Coupled people really are homebodies more often than not and going out in a group closes you off to other people. If you go out things by yourself or with a girlfriend, you are more approachable.
i know the feeling. i am a 32 year old single mom.
but i ride a sportbike, so i am on local sportbike forums and i go out riding, and meet new people all the time.
There are many local forums where members have get togethers. If you have a hobby or interest, there is a forum for it.
Also, You will meet someone when you least expect it. You can't go looking for it, IT finds YOU! SO just enjoy your life, hang out with friends and have fun. The right one will bite you when you least expect.
Last edited by MsDiana 08; 08-19-2009 at 01:36 AM.
As for meeting people--join stuff! Go to like, a book club, on a group hike, meetup.com. My friend met a few platonic friends doing meetup.com in Chicago. It sounds like you need some single friends. Coupled people really are homebodies more often than not and going out in a group closes you off to other people. If you go out things by yourself or with a girlfriend, you are more approachable.
Actually, all of my guy friends but one are single, but they're useless (and the one girlfriend isn't of help because she lives in upstate NY). I know all of their friends, and are friends with them (very small, tight-knit group). My coupled girl friends go out a LOT but it sucks being the third wheel. I've done the whole "go out with just one girl friend" and in a bar/club situation (what most of my girl friends enjoy) I just do not DO well. It doesn't fit my personality, and I wind up just standing there while guys chat up my friends. I'm just not good at starting a random conversation with someone - I'm much better when I'm doing something, which is why something like an outdoor club or meetup.com or something is better than going out to bars or doing the online dating thing.
I'd say you've got the right idea yourself already about what situations you'd be good in and what situations you wouldn't.... go with it! More than likely you'll find a guy right for you at a place and situation that is right for you, like the activities club and stuff.
Gods I feel your pain. 28 and single here and all of my friends are married including all of my (younger than me cousins). I'm actually only half heartedly looking because I'm pretty happy with my life and a lot of people I know have been divorced at least once by this age. Also my parents were thrown together by fate for years before they hooked up so I guess I've always expected serendipity to help me out.
Having said that I've had some luck with OKcupid too. I like that it works by you answer questions about you upbringing, politics, attitudes to different situations with how you feel and how you want your partner to feel and then you can search by who matches your ideal partner the best. There's a fair number of geeks on there (Yay Geeks!) so I've learned you kind of have to be the proactive one and say hi.
My bigges thing I've got to learn is not to get hooked up on one guy who's not interested. I spent all of highschool and part of college crushing on 1 guy, then the later half of college fixated on another guy. Now I've got a major crush one someone but I'm making a point not look around and see if there's someone else.
I have tried the online dating thing (OKCupid and Match.com) and met some really great guys but all in all none of them really did it for me, I would stear clear of it. Usually the best way to meet people is through other people, but I know that can be very hard.
The remark about hanging in the Engineering Dept is a good one, I went to an engineering school and there are lots of great guys hanging out.
Most of the guys I've dated approched me so your comment about "needing to learn how to let things happen instead of forcing them" is sometimes the only way to go. Just don't worry about men to much, as soon as you stop looking that is when he will find you. I know its hard to do but it usually works.
No really
) for about 2 years, always there for me etc, and when I quit despairing over trying to find someone and be happy..... I realized he'd been there all along. 
