Fat Friend Syndrome (and being the DFF) - Page 3 - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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Old 08-03-2009, 04:42 PM   #31  
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Thumbs down It's one thing to have friends think that...

it's another thing when its family. My sister used to go into my closet and take something to wear and when I told her I didn't want her to she would say, "This doesn't fit you anyway, its too small." Yeah, not fun. Then my mom would go on and on about all the mountain biking and yoga she does. Then she would pause and say, "So when is the last time you went to the gym?" Not fun either. To me, its just one of those things that you can choose to be around or not. Thank God I'm married because I can go over there if I want to now, or not.

If you have "friends" that make you feel bad for any reason, are they really friends anyway? I would say they weren't.
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Old 08-03-2009, 05:08 PM   #32  
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It can be rough from family. My Dad used to make comments along the lines of "are you sure you want to eat that?" He meant it to be helpful and keep me on track but instead it just upset me, which I delt with by eating even more (and started eating secretively).
Back in May I had a convo with my sister about my weight. I had already lost 17lbs at that point and she brought up how she was proud of me and she really wanted me to see it til the end this time because I'm her only sister and she wants me to be around. Oh man did I cry (and we were in public). It ended up being a pretty long convo.
The biggest she's ever been was a size 8 (which is thick for her 5'2 frame but still not really fat and she was still very fit). She doesn't really understand depression and emotional eating, but she's heard me and her boyfriend talk about it.
It was a hard conversation. And it was really really hard to explain to someone how you can want to lose weight without being ready to, and how you can know you are capable of losing weight without believing you can.
Anyhow, it wasn't brought up to be hurtful. It was just what needed to be talked about so we could understand each other's point of view.
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Old 08-03-2009, 07:37 PM   #33  
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I am pretty fortunate right now, none of my friends make me feel like **** about what I weigh. However, if I start to gain some weight my husbands father will let me know... trust me!! Last summer I was at my highest weight in a long time and one day he just bluntly said "You're puttin' on some weight, ain't ya?? You're bigger than AJ!" AJ is my husband and yes he is pretty small, but talk about hurting my feelings!! Oh and a woman I used to work with told me that I had a spare tire around my middle that I needed to get rid of and that I was "getting fat as a bear!" Thank god I don't see her anymore!! I remember thinking to myself "Dear god I can't believe you just said that! LOOK AT YOU!!!"
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Old 08-03-2009, 09:16 PM   #34  
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it's weird to me; I am the fat friend at school, but not in "out of school relationships". there, i am the "medium friend" with one skinnier, and one heavier. As the FF, i feel very weird and out of place, especially when they all talk about being "fat" in their size 2-4 clothes.

but i am also worried about losing weight in my medium dynamic. My heaviest friend has a host of health problems that stop her from losing, including depression. I wouldn't want her to be upset with me (although truthfully, this will not stop me from losing. I am not going to stay fat to make her happy)

also, i have always been the fat sibling, and i know my brothers are ashamed about that.
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Old 08-03-2009, 09:32 PM   #35  
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Originally Posted by dcapulet View Post
also, i have always been the fat sibling, and i know my brothers are ashamed about that.
*exaggerated eye roll* My brother went through a phase where he wouldn't go in public alone with me, in case people thought we were "together." He voiced this to me once, much to my 15-year-old self-loathing dismay.

Now, his fiance wants to hook me up with one of his guy friends, and my brother very unsubtly made mention that his friend only dates model-esque girls. I'm pretty sure that even with my weight loss, my brother still sees and thinks of me as fat 'n ugly.

Who gives a rat's @ss what your siblings think, I say...
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