Have I mentioned that it is my BIGGEST pet peeve when people comment on what others are eating? MIND YOUR OWN DARN BUSINESS.

Ugh.

Sorry.

I know how you feel. Sometimes I get so excited about my diet that I want to share it with my family and such, but then after I do that I feel like they are always judging me and I can't properly enjoy anything or eat anything that others might not perceive as "diet food" because then they just think I am "cheating"... yes very annoying. I think twice before mentioning my diet to people now just so I don't have to worry about their unwanted thoughts on the topic.

My husband just gives a look. Like if I've got enough calories in a day for a larger supper, I'll split the entree I'm allowed into two portions so I can "go back for seconds." The first time I did it he just gave me this LOOK...like I shouldn't be eating what I was eating. Then again when I got some store-bought shredded BBQ chicken (80 calories per 1/4 cup). We were eating sandwiches for lunch last weekend, and I put about 4 portions of the barbecue into a pan to heat it up. He got about half of it and stood around...usually with things we eat this way, I leave some and he eats the rest. Well, this time I got my two portions and had a sandwich on toasted bread. He got all mad and gave me the LOOK...like I was eating too much and should've left some in the pan.

Grrr...

That's mine too. It bugs the life out of me and it REALLY winds me up.

Yes, I'm the same. I try and share it with my mum occasionally even though past experience should have taught me not to because then all she does is scrutinise all I eat. If i'm not munching carrots and apples all day and she sees me with something else in my mouth it's like this huge thing - half the time she doesn't even know what i've eaten that day anyway so she can hardly tell whether i'm eating too many calories. I mean, my mum is a psycho dieter and is always dieting herself - when I was in highschool she actually told me not to eat bananas because they were really high in calories and it took me years before I started eating them again. Crazy woman. It's about moderation, I don't see why I need to punish myself and deny myself foods to lose weight.

During previous attempts to lose weight/get healthy my husband has told me "you're going to burn yourself out, etc." He has been very supportive lately, but I still have the fear of him doubting me. I catch myself worrying about having any kind of treat in front of him out of fear that he will think I've started back-sliding. So, it's me, not them in my case. But, all of my life, I've been one of those people who is motivated by proving people wrong! Anyhoo... whatever works!

That is a tough situation to be in, I have been in that position and it is really hard - it makes you feel absolutely awful. However don't let these remarks get you down. Just answer them politely and say "Nope, just part of the plan for today!" Don't let it get to you :)

I think you've already gotten some excellent advice on this subject, but I just want to throw in my own $0.02 about something--while I think it's a great idea to explain to her that you are implementing a lifestyle change, not a "diet," I don't think you need to bother mentioning how much weight you have already lost. To me, that just seems a little defensive, as if you're trying to validate your eating cheese by giving "proof" that it's working... But you don't owe her ANY explanation for why you're eating cheese, so if you offer up that much information, it'll only clue her in to the fact that her comments are really getting under your skin, so she probably won't stop. Instead, I think it's best to keep mum. Let your actions speak for themselves--if she hasn't noticed your losses already, she certainly will soon, and it'll drive her NUTS to see you have so much success even in spite of eating *gasp!* tiny cubes of cheese.

This is essentially what I did when I had a similar problem with my own mother trying to sabotage me, making very unwelcome comments about my lifestyle, broadcasting all of the intimate details of my losses to anyone who would listen, etc. I simply stopped talking to her at ALL about that aspect of my life, and sat back quietly losing 110 lbs without her having a damn clue what was going on! :lol: She still has no idea how much I've lost or my current weight (or pants size, since she was beginning to make a habit out of announcing that as well), and I *know* she can't stand it. Muahaha... :s: But anyways, yeah, that's what worked for me! It's a little frustrating to feel like you have to be so secretive with someone who you SHOULD be able to trust, but the most important thing is doing whatever helps you to feel more comfortable.

The other day i ate a banana and my mom said "there's like 300 calories in that!"
LOL
Banana: Calories 72 (Calorie King)

You guys are really the best!! It's great to know I'm not the only one in this situation but sad that people who are supposed to care about us could bring us down (or try to) with just one comment!
Thanks for all the great tips and advice!
I didn't want to tell anyone about my lifestyle change but I had to tell my parents and grandmothers since we eat supper all together and I had to justify making my own meal when they were eating things I really couldn't! My boyfriend knows too and he's mostly supportive. But in the end it's nobody's business but mine because no one can change my future except me!

Thanks again everyone :)

I completely understand what you mean.
I pretty much don't tell anyone outside my family that I've been trying to lose weight. It just gets awkward. When people tell me I look good because I've lose weight, it feels awkward because it means they are aknowledging that I used to look worse...

But back to the point... my own mom is a terrible yo yo dieter. I actually catch myself judging what she is eating. I don't say anything to her but I do judge her. She is either all in with her diet or binge eating. I prefer to look at my diet as a lifestyle change.

My dad is very fit and health concious. I know that it really bothers him that my mom is overweight and although he never really says anything to me, it bothers him that I was unhealthy.

You just can't let other people bother you. You know what works for you.

I agree with what they said above.... obviously you're doing well on your diet so just calmy explain to her that you're going for the healthy BALANCED diet approach and have done quite well doing so, thank-you-very-much!, and walk away!

Thank her for her support

I just started getting serious (again) so I had to address this issue with my mom earlier today.

Every time I talked to my mom on the phone, I was terrified that she was going to bring up the weight/diet/whatever issue and I would feel SO UNCOMFORTABLE the entire phone conversation and then I would be tempted to binge/eat crappy foods after I got off the phone with her to deter the bad feelings.

So....
Today I told her that "at this stage" in my journey, for her to be supportive to me, she needed to promise that she would not ask me anything about my progress for a month or so. I told her she had to trust that I was working on it and allow me some time to get less sensitive, to build up my confidence, and to get comfortable with my new lifestyle and my new way of dealing with food and emotions.

I made it clear that it was MY problem so she didn't get defensive and so she respected my boundaries. I made it clear that I wanted to have a relationship with her, but if she continued to bring things up, it wouldn't be possible because of my current, but hopefully temporary hang ups.

Strangely, just getting that out of the way made me so happy and COMFORTABLE. I began to tell her about my new habits, my hopes, what I'm eating today, what I've struggled with recently. When I stopped treating her like the enemy and told her how she could be my ally, thankfully she respected my wishes and was able to be my ally at that moment. I know not all moms can/will react the same way, but I hope this helps someone!