My dad said something like that to me once, except he didn't have anything positive to say about me. He said my brother is the smart one, I'm the fat one.

I replied to that with "Yeah, well, Mom is the good parent." I didn't finish the statement. He got the picture.

Aww, thank you so much, rosiem and stellarosa27!! Y'all are way too kind. :o

And stella, it must be so hurtful to hear something like that from your mother... You know that she probably means it in a nice way - like maybe she's worried that you'll have low self-esteem because of your weight, so she wants to remind you that you have lots of *other* positive qualities, too, y'know? But it's like, just because a person is overweight doesn't mean that they can't be complimented on their appearance in the exact same way as a person of a normal weight. Why is it necessary to qualify the compliments every time, like "You're cute for a chubby girl," or "You have such a pretty face" (which obviously implies that there's something wrong with the rest of you--not true!), or even worse, "You have such a great personality"... A person's comments can say so much more in what they omit than what they actually mention, you know? It's like, they think that if they focus on complimenting your face, you won't notice that they're basically indirectly criticizing your body--yeah, right. :rolleyes:

LOL at your snappy response to your dad's rude remark, Lachelle!! I love it!! :lol: Good for you for not buying into his crap...

I agree you deserve a guy who loves you just the way you are and you Deserve a commitment and LOVE. You should be given it freely without having to wait around on some guy who can't grow up and appreciate you. You may really like him but he probably isn't the one for you. And while you obsess over this guy you are missing out on all the other guys out there who would give you everything you want and in return they will be just what you have been looking for. Its hard to believe I know, cuz I've been there, but trust me the best thing for you to do is to move on and look to the future with someone who will give you all the love in the world!

Haha. Oh no, she meant it the way it sounded, it was usually in the context of why I don't date much, boys only like girls with personality and looks and my sister had an abundance of both. My sister is actually the one who has more of a weight problem than me, always has had one. She's 5'2 and probably weighs about 250 (we've just now found out there are health issues involved, and they're working on it). I was always overweight according to the weight charts, but my boobs are huge, so that's what kind of tipped the scales. It wasn't until college/after college that I actually ventured into the obese territory. I was never the favorite, and it sucked growing up, but I got used to it. For a long time I blamed her for my low-self esteem (she deserves SOME of it) but we kind of made peace with each other along the way.

It just sucks that people can't just say something positive without insulting you at the same time...

1) Holy crap to what your dad said (jerk!).

2) :bravo: :lol: to what you said!!!

Oy. :foot: I am truly sorry to hear that that's the case... You're right, it DOES suck, and it really is a shame that you had to go through that with your mother. I'm glad that you've reached some kind of reconciliation with her over it, but speaking as someone who has a boatload of self-esteem issues myself, I know that it can be extremely difficult to overcome years of "training" like that. Keep on truckin', girly! :hug:

my relatives say it to eachother about me. some of my aunts say "hey you look like you got big...i mean, youre still kinda cute, but ...yeah" ...WTF is that supposed to mean? ahahha. i think its kinda rude but funny.

My mom told me that she thought I was the prettiest of her seven children but that, "you do your best to ruin your looks by being overweight."

I'm the fattest girl in my family.

I've heard this too many times. It's extremely frustrating. I've heard it mostly from guys. But also girls.

The few guys I've dated have not really said it, but they never really commented on me below the shoulders. Or below the boobs. ha. (lucky I'm plus, because I love my boobs)
But I've gotten the comment from random guys. And girls who I either don't know at all or who I somewhat know.

I think it's mostly immaturity. Although, its depressing.

its hurtful i know when someone says something like that but use it to help yourself. No one would choose to be fat! simple as that I certainly didnt choose to put on so much after getting married but it happened and I could see the faces of those that hadnt seen me in a while and they said it all. and so i soaked up what they faces said and realised that it was going to be hard old slog but i was gonna get back to what would be to me a comfortable size.
I know its easy to say, but they sometimes dont realise what they are saying and honestly think you are pretty, they are seeing something that they probably wish they had, and not even thinking about your weight. I sometimes envy larger women because they have bigger boobs..and have sometimes caught myself staring, not because im that way inclined..and not because im thinking 'cor ur huge' but because im envious.
like i said, use it to get yourself in shape, there are loads of people on here that have shown us that it is possible, its us that puts the obstacles in our way....(a large pizza and a slice of chocolate cake was my obstacle tonight!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyQ_IKkAM9I this is a good vid :) hope it helps. :)