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-   -   Hair Maintanence for women of color (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/169187-hair-maintanence-women-color.html)

Devsmama 04-16-2009 10:04 AM

Yeah, going natural is an option, but not when you work in the corporate world. Looks = promotion, that's just how the world works. So for now, I am going to keep wrapping my hair and then when I go see my hair lady, we'll discuss it further...

CakeBatter 04-16-2009 10:12 AM

Muatang - No Problem

Since starting the thread I have been wrapping it and leaving until dry as ususal. But I will start co-washing today probably. Cause I need my workouts!!!! But I NEED my ahir too. I am gonna read that article now. ANd to be honest it was a major reason I stopped working out. I was tired of wearing my hair pulled back!

stellart 04-16-2009 10:32 AM

i find it troubling that wearing natural hair sabotages the promotions in the corporate world.

i know that i am extremely extremely attached to my hair. and recently, i've been talking to a teaching recruiter who asks me if i was willing to cut my hair. i thought long and hard but i said no. i dont think it's going to be a problem, but still. i dont think my choice of hair has anything to do with my professional talents.

grneyedmustang 04-16-2009 11:24 AM

It's troubling, but that is the reality for many of us. And it's a shame that in 2009, I'm still judged by my hair - and not by my skill.

What I was told by my peers (off the record, of course) is that my hairstyle could affect my chance of being promoted. I heard a lot about "the company's image", "perception", "being conservative" and all that good stuff.

In this day and time, you'd think that being promoted is based on skills and talent, and not appearances - but that's not always the case.

kswood87 04-16-2009 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JasonsLea (Post 2700377)
LOVE this thread! I discovered the Long Hair forum (not registered, a lurker) almost a year ago and have been co washing ever since. It just felt natural to me since I DESPISE wearing a shower cap! :lol: My hair has stopped growing because I haven't had a trim in over four months but I'm going to get one as soon as I can! I recently learned how to press my own hair and I'm very proud of that. Took 22 years but I finally got it down pack. Still am totally useless with wrapping and that just ruins all my hard work! And I've also been spacing my perms. My last perm was a month ago, my first in over five months.

I'm on a six month stretch right now with only 3 more weeks left so I feel you! Anyways I was just wondering if you've been wearing protective styles because I only get my ends trimmed every 6 months if that and I haven't had a problem retaining lenth.

stellart 04-16-2009 02:11 PM

Lorna Simpson is an acclaimed black female photographer from brooklyn. she's known for producing works that convey images and ideas of race, sexuality, multiculturalism. anyway, she did some stuff a while back regarding the importance of hair in black female culture. interesting stuff. check it out if you get a chance.

kswood87 04-16-2009 02:41 PM

Thanks I will for sure look into that tonight. Sounds interesting!

Devsmama 04-16-2009 02:54 PM

grneyed is right, it should be about talent, but let's face it, its not. I work in a financial corporation and believe me the people at the top are not on 3fc and do not have "hair issues." Beyond that, there is a spiritual connection between me and my hair, when I want to hide, I let it grow, when I want the world to see me I cut it all off....it's my thing...but thats not what this thread is about. I will wrap it tonight when I go the gym and I will probably wash it tomorrow or Saturday, that will be 7 days, so my hair should be okay and not dry..

April_Showers 04-16-2009 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devsmama (Post 2701165)
grneyed is right, it should be about talent, but let's face it, its not. I work in a financial corporation and believe me the people at the top are not on 3fc and do not have "hair issues." Beyond that, there is a spiritual connection between me and my hair, when I want to hide, I let it grow, when I want the world to see me I cut it all off....it's my thing...but thats not what this thread is about. I will wrap it tonight when I go the gym and I will probably wash it tomorrow or Saturday, that will be 7 days, so my hair should be okay and not dry..

As an ex employee at a financial services firm (that will remain unnamed due to the general population's hatred) this is often true. I hate the use the word conform, but sometimes you gotta pay to play and WIN.

Slightly off topic, but is anyone else looking forward to Chris Rock's documentary, Good Hair?

kswood87 04-16-2009 03:27 PM

I haven't heard of it. What is it about and when is it coming out??

beaka 04-16-2009 03:43 PM

In my personal experiences, other black people (particularly women) have been WAY more judgemental of my hair than people of other races. My hair is clean and neat and therefore not an issue. And the day somebody at this job tells me to perm my hair is the day they catch a lawsuit, because I REFUSE to burn my hair into submission. I think there are styles that are professional vs. unprofessional whether you have natural hair or permed hair. You just have to have the good sense to know what will work in your environment.

There are a gang of things that play into your professional appearance- weight, style, complexion, features, cleanliness, and hair. Regardless, you'll never please everybody. But what is important is that you please yourself. I gotta live with me for the rest of my life. This job is only for a season.

NishKitten 04-16-2009 04:21 PM

'Good Hair'. That actually made me shudder, those words use to torment me before I got rowdy and decided to start elbowing dumb skanks in the mouth for trying to single me out and make me feel bad for the features I was born with.

As the mixed girl that has *never* looked even remotely black enough to be considered acceptable, i'm going to side with Beaka and say that I think the judgment problem lies primarily with other black women. Once they get over it and stop teaching their daughters that the only way to be pretty is to be 'whitewashed' (ie: straight hair, light skin and eyes) then this is going to just keep perpetuating itself.

HeatherMcG 04-16-2009 04:36 PM

Wow! Forgive me for my ignorance, but I never knew this was such an issue. I see black women with beautiful hair and others that maybe don't look so great. But, I never try to judge them because of it. God knows that sometimes my hair looks great and other times I'm sure I look like a homeless woman! In any case, I really don't understand what one would gain from pressuring another to style their hair in a particular way. If any thing, (in a work setting) you would think you would want the competition to have that flaw not bug them about it. Know what I mean?

beaka 04-16-2009 05:26 PM

Nish: We are SO on the same page right now :high: I hate it when people say "good hair." Having hair is good as far as I'm concerned. I've gotten the "you can go natural because you have 'good hair'" on several occasions. It makes me want to :rollpin: ! But I realize too that my mother never permed my hair and doesn't have one. You base your beliefs on what you grew up with. Me and all of my cousins had the option to perm our hair when we were in our teens. All of us tried it, and a couple of us have since gone natural. I love my hair. I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

Heather: Women are judgemental of other women. Period. If it's not your hair, it'll be something else. If there shallow/ignorant enough to judge you based on your hair, what makes you think they won't pick on you for other stuff too? It's kinda like how they say women dress for other women, not men.

Ambrosia 04-16-2009 05:47 PM

Oh I'm happy this thread exists. :) Right now I'm transitioning to natural hair. I condition wash my hair at least once (or twice if I have the time) a week. I used unrefined shea butter and a bit of conditioner to moisturize my hair.

Two weeks ago I cut most of the relaxed ends off. Since I'm not confident enough to wear a short fro or braid out yet (I feel like my face is too chubby) I've resorted to wearing full cap wigs until my hair grows to shoulder length (and to repair damage on the hairline). I keep my hair braided underneath the wigs. I have learned so much from Long Hair Care Forum and Youtube. Also, I lurk on the Black Hair Media Boards in the Natural Hair and Wig sections.

I noticed my hair thrives when I co-wash it. When I use shampoo it dries my hair out. After spending so much money on high end beauty products regular I noticed how unrefined shea butter with a bit of Dove moisture conditioner keeps my hair soft.


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