[KimL1214]

Petunia~ Thank you!!!

Joleystar~ Congratulations!!!

Breathingfumes~ Welcome back!!!

Peatrix~ How did you end up doing last night?

So my life got in the way again last night and I didn’t actually make it to my weigh in. I’m planning on escaping for a bit on Friday so I can hit up another meeting and get an official weigh in. I’m up a lb. right now, I’m guessing due to a mixture of TOM and stress, so I don’t know if Friday I’ll be up even more or back down where I was. Playing yo-yo with the scale. I wish relationships were easy and I could just make up my mind. Blah.

[CakeBatter]

Kim - I wish they were easy too. I play yo-yo with that! I hope you make it to a meeting tomorrow. I hate not knowing!

Peatrix _ did you make out okay? I must have logged off right before you posted this.

[Petunia418]

OK ladies I'm having problems. We're talking super frustration right now. I'm warning you, the following is very, very negative and unlike my typical posts. You don't have to read if you don't want but I have to get it out!

I am SO burnt out. I hate knowing that I joined WW in August and I've actually GAINED weight. WTF? I don't know who to blame for that but I'm not naive enough to say it's not at least partly my own fault. Since I did WW before and was successful I DO have faith in the the program but I think I'm just tired. I'm just so sick and tired of always focusing on my body, my weight, my fat, my muscles, my work outs, my gym clothes, my grocery bills, my bathing suit... etc. I just want to be able to LIVE my life and not be obsessed with all of this.

So the 5 year old in me has come out this week. BIG time. It's like I'm throwing a temper tantrum or something against my ways of living. I've probably eaten more carbs in the last 2 days than I had all month. So far today I've already had oatmeal with NF milk and PB, a pear, coffee with cream, a Fiber 1 bar, AND a cinnamon raisin bagel from Panera with 1 tbsp. of cream cheese. It's not even NOON.

2009 has been absolute $h!t for me, with the exception of getting engaged. My family has been through a lot together in the last 2-3 years especially but I've been waiting for the silver lining. I've had 3 deaths in my family since January, my dad's salary got cut and might be losing his job and benefits, I hate my job, I'm almost 20 lbs. fatter than I was this time last year (when I ALSO wanted to lose weight), etc. I feel like my life is one big vicious cycle lately. DF and I want to buy a house but I'm stuck in a dead-end job with the salary of an intern and don't have anything saved except a little for the wedding.

I just want to cry right now and storm out of my office. I know I can't, and I won't but I just feel SOO sick of it all. Instead of taking solice in the fact that I CAN control my diet (the one thing I COULD control if I wanted to), I've rebelled and thrown all self-discipline out the window. I haven't worked out. I feel like crap. I have a hard time getting out of bed. My eyes are puffy and I'm STILL not "regular."

Ugh! How much can one person handle? I just want to curl up in bed with my cat and DF for 3 days straight. I need a vacation. But I can't afford one.

DF is getting so worried about me I think. He brought me home roses Tuesday to make me smile. We'll get through this, I know. But-- I need to know how to get back on track with food and exercise. I just feel myself losing hope.

[CakeBatter]

Oh Petunia Honey, Believe or not I have been there. But I don't have a real answer. I am so sorry you feel like this because it is a suckey feeling. IT seems like you are really really stressed and you have to focus on thing at a time...Easier said than done I know. when I was feeling this way I had to start seeing a counselor because I was quite depressed. Even now that I am better I still feel this way at times. If you don't continue with all your hard work you are only going to feel worse...TRUST ME! I wish I could come and give you a hug. This thread is supposed to be about WW but yet you gave my inspiration and courage in others things esp my working out. It is great you are in love because you have someone you can lean on when you are feeling blue. Can you take a couple day s off from work and just relax and try to clear your head? Can you possibly see a counselor (thru insurance) they can help you sort things out. It would help I am sure.

i really really hope you feel better. BTW there is no 5 yr old here. There is only a very strong, stressed, adult I see that ca use a little picking up is all. WE love YOU

[KimL1214]

Petunia~ You have no idea how much I understand and feel for you. There are a million suggestions that people could make for you and give you, but in all reality it comes to you. It sounds to me like you genuinely needed a vent and I’m wondering if it made you feel better, because I know I always feel better after I vent everything. I’m not saying you need counseling, but have you thought about it? Just to have someone to vent all your thoughts and issues to, someone who is neutral and will not judge you on everything you say, but may be able to give you some clarity and help give you ways to get past everything. You’ve said that money is an issue, so if this is not something you can afford (I know money is the main reason why I no longer see my counselor), this is a great place to vent and ask for advice (as you already know). I guess I’m just kindof rambling. But my biggest suggestion is for you to get it all out, ask for suggestions, take the ones you think will work and go for it. My biggest suggestion would be to force yourself to get up and just go for a run or even just a walk. I argue with myself every day about going for a run, but end up feeling so much better afterwards. Just the fact that you have still stuck with WW through everything shows that you’re in it for the long haul and can identify where some of your problems lie. Your persistence is inspirational and you always have great recipe ideas and suggestions! Try to keep your head up… you can do this and we’re here for you.

I hope this post actually makes sense, since I feel like I completely rambled…

[blissclaire]

Petunia I have been in your boat. My dad got hurt at work two years ago, and is now on disability. My fiance and I are also trying to save for a wedding, but other things keep coming in the way. I think that we are just going to go to city hall and then have a shingdig for our families afterwards.
I would absolutely LOVE a vacation right now too! I think the closest we get to that is when we go to his dad's cabin on the lake. I don't know how much of a vaycay coming down here would be, but you're welcome anytime! I totally wish we could get a house right now, we pay friggin $600 a month in rent! This week hasn't been incredibly great for me either... I haven't gone to the gym but once this week. It will get better! All of this will pay off in the end! Just try to get back on track, and you'll be fine! And as far as your "regularity" problem, have you tried getting some fiber one cereal? I got the honey clusters one to try, and it has 51% of your daily fiber in one serving! It's a yummy way to help with that. I hope things get better for you, and just know that we are here for you chicka!

So I overslept this morning (and so did my fiance) and I'm just getting up at 11. I feel like a bum. It hasn't rained yet today, but EVERYTHING outside is soaking wet. There's still two inches of standing water in our yard.

[Petunia418]

Thanks so much chickies, for the advice and always being there. I want to hug you all, seriously!

My mom had to see a counselor for a while (she had a rough childhood) after her and my dad got married. My brother has seen one too, so I am totally aware and accepting of that option but really I just needed to vent. I'm the oldest and have always taken on a lot of responsibilities, including worrying about and for everyone else in my life. It's really a burden to care so much sometimes. DF told me the other night I care more than anyone he's ever known... but sometimes your biggest strength IS your biggest weakness, you know?

I just want to heal the world and make everyone better and it keeps me up at night sometimes that I can't. I need to learn to just live life and do things for myself once in a while.

As for the wedding, Bliss- that sounds great haha! I guess part of what stresses me out is the desires of other people, ie DF's mom. I love her so much but she has SOOO many friends and wants this huge shin dig. She's agreed to pay for her part, etc. but it's a little overwhelming sometimes. I'm ok with whatever so I've chalked this one up to settling for 200-250 guests (she'd have 400 if she could) but I'd honestly be just as happy with a small beach ceremony.

As for the Fiber One, hehe... I eat the cereal bars but not the actual cereal. I went a few days without my usual yogurt and fibrous foods and now BAM! Ahh hopefully things will get "moving" again the next few days lol!

I need a change. I'm kinda "blah" (obviously) lately. I usually wear my medium-brown hair with lots of highlights. They're growing out (my hair grows fast) and I've felt like I look like a total bum lately. DF accidentally shrunk my jeans in the dryer so I've been wearing nothing but black dress pants 24/7. I think I'm going to suck it up and buy a pair of cheap jeans, regardless of the size, that I feel comfortable in. I might also dye my hair brown so I can quit dealing with highlights for a while.

I'm just so happy to have you girls around. Thanks for listening to my vent, and thanks even more for offering your wonderful advice. You're great!

[CakeBatter]

I read a smile in your post---that makes me happy. I love having you around here. XOXOXO

[PeatrixPotter]

Petunia I can totally relate. I suffer from anxiety and depression, which is majorly triggered when I am not at a happy weight. The only thing I can say is stay on plan and you will get through it!

Cake and Kim Thanks for asking about my night. Well, after reading through posts I got enough motivation to not binge. I had 4 points left, so I had a bag of smart pop for 3 pts and an apple. I felt so salty after eating that bag, and guess what...I weighed in at 146.6 today! Luckily, I knew I had stayed OP and that it was water weight from all the salt, so I laughed about it instead. That is not something I will be eating the night before a weigh in. Lol!

I get so much out of this site and reading through all your posts. You guys are such an inspiration to me!

Miracle Noodles Has anyone tried these? They're 0 pts! They are flavorless and made out of fiber and water, but they soak up whatever flavor you put in them. I couldn't find them at my Whole Foods, so I will have to order them online when I get the money.

[Petunia418]

Peatrix- I'm glad you kept a healthy attitude about WI! Totally just bloat from the popcorn! Yeah I think I have mild anxiety too (it runs in my family...joy!) which is extremely affected by my weight. Bleh!

I would really like to hear more about these Miracle Noodles! Where can you find them?!

[PeatrixPotter]

There are Shirataki tofu noodles that are 0 points for 2 servings and can supposedly be found in health food stores, although I live in LA and I haven't found them. Then I saw miraclenoodles.com on an ad in this site. I think they are similar??? I will order them online, but don't have the money yet.

[CakeBatter]

Peatrix - Ooo Ooo Ooo I want some too. I am gonna look at those tonight! I don't have the money yet either but I am getting some! WTG on no binging!!!

[blissclaire]

Petunia Your Future MIL sounds like my grandmother! She wanted to invite A TON of relatives that I haven't seen since I was like a baby, but yet was complaining about the cost of it all... I'm sure your wedding will be gorgeous, and you'll have fun! And you HAVE TO try the cereal... It is SO YUMMY. I'll buy you a darn box if you want. And as far as your hair... I was a blonde for forever with highlights, and I just got tired of the maintenance. So I went to my stylist and was like, fix it. I don't want highlights anymore, and we nearly matched my natural brown. I LOVE IT. Took some getting used to at first, but it was well worth it. AND less upkeep.

Peatrix those noodles sound yummy! when i get paid next week, i will DEF be purchasing a variety pack. i've been straying away from noodles cause of points... if only they made miracle rice... LOL

[Petunia418]

Bliss- thanks for the advice!!! I've worn my hair so many different colors. Like I said, I'm naturally a medium brunette but it's really blonde right now. I've also done auburn, black, dark brown, all different colors of highlights, etc. DF and I started dating when my hair was auburn. I was thinking if I go back to brown for a while it'll be easier to transition back to auburn (he and I both loved it like that).

It's funny... I was just looking back at pictures from my friend's wedding in 2007. I was tan from the summer and my auburn hair looked so nice with my skin tone. I was also 165 lbs. and SO happy! I'm going to keep looking at this picture for motivation to get back there. When I'm under 170 again I will seriously have a party and you're all invited hehe!

[PeatrixPotter]

Has anyone heard of the Wendie Plan? It is like calorie cycling for WW where you have one day of high points, and then a mix of mediums and lows the rest of the week. You have your high day the day after you weigh in. This keeps your engine revin'.

The exact breakout is:

Your daily points plus...

Day 1: +15
Day 2: +0
Day 3: +4
Day 4: +2
Day 5: +0
Day 6: +5
Day 7: +4

Then you have your other 5 points to use whenever, or some don't use them at all. Also, Wendie doesn't use her activity points either, but I think if you wanted to you could as long as you have the same mixture of highs and lows.

Since I only have 6 pounds to lose and because I need more structure, I have decided to give this a try. We'll see at next week's weigh in!

There is more information on this forum...do a search for "Wendie" or "Wendie Diet Plan" or go here: http://www.stormpc.com/ww/wendie_plan.htm