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-   -   Jealous coworkers? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/166033-jealous-coworkers.html)

krock614 03-04-2009 01:40 PM

Jealous coworkers?
 
This may sound trivial, but it kind of upset me. Yesterday one of my coworkers commented on my pants being loose and asked me how much weight I had lost. I told her 20 lbs since december. She was excited for me because she had just lost over 50lbs. Another one of my coworkers chimed in and stated I had lost it because all I eat is lettuce. I do eat a salad for lunch but it has a whole bunch more veggies than lettuce. It just made me feel like she was trying to put me down, when this time I have been working so hard to lose this weight!! She is overweight also and has been having troubles losing weight. My husband thinks she's just jealous. Oh well. I had to get it out. Has anyone else ever had this problem?

primaballerina 03-04-2009 01:54 PM

That definitely sounds like jealousy!
My guess would be that she doesn't have the willpower to stick with a program and resents your ability to do so. And the fact that she would think that you have lost weight by just eating lettuce just goes to show that she knows nothing about nutrition or lasting weight loss. She's probably tried the lettuce diet and failed.
Anyway, you are certainly not alone in experiencing this. I have a close friend who actually got angry at me when she realized I could fit into one of her dresses! I just tend to feel sorry for people like that because they obviously have their own issues when they feel that they have to put others down like that.
You are doing great! Congratulations on your loss so far! Don't let them get you down :)

mystyblue85 03-04-2009 02:16 PM

Yes it sounds like standard cattiness...ignore her, or better yet, remember what she said and use it the next time you work out. You must remember, there are going to be plenty of people jealous of your weight loss success, you must not let them sidetrack you from your goals!

butterflywings34 03-04-2009 02:21 PM

I have a coworker who has lots 50 pounds in the last 6 months and I tell her how good she is doing all the time and even though I am having problems getting 20 pounds off I have never said anything negative to her.
Sounds like your coworker is jealous. People like that are very negative people and dont listen to her you are doing great and keep it up!! :hug:
I love to see people lose the weight and get to their goal, its more of an insperation to me than a jealous thing..

saef 03-04-2009 02:29 PM

I don't blame you at all for feeling hurt.

"All she eats is lettuce" sounds so dismissive. Like, yeah, she's lost weight, but she doesn't eat **normally** anymore, or her life is no longer enjoyable, it's too restrictive, because all she's allowed to eat is a lettuce leaf.

Clearly, what you're doing is unpleasant and dangerous. ;-)

I agree with Primaballerina. Your coworker isn't very educated about food or nutrition values. Pity her, if anything, because she doesn't sound like she's the type who's ever going to enjoy & know the difference between arugula and Bibb lettuce, or be able to savor a fresh pomegranate, or tell the difference between the tastes of five different kinds of apples. All "that stuff" probably looks alike to her.

And then she'll wonder why she can't lose weight or keep it off.

Maybe she'll figure it out one day. You sound like a nice person who'll probably help her when she finally does.

CakeBatter 03-04-2009 02:49 PM

Agreed with the above....people tend to put down what you are doing when they are not successful in their own life. My friends actually do it to me all the time "Well where you do wanna eat cause you know you don't eat nothing!" But in a "I'm trying to make you feel bad" kind of way.

Just keep on going and don't worry haterz. Haterz are good to have around or else there would be no one else to impress:)

kaplods 03-04-2009 02:51 PM

She could have been jealous, she might have been trying to make a (stupid) joke, she might not have thought before speaking, she could be an idiot.....

I find that trying to even guess other people's motives, often just drives me crazy, especially if it effects even the slightest how I feel about myself. I tend to attribute positive motives more than negative, so I usually choose to think something like, "wow, she must be having a bad day," or some other thought that allows me to forget about it completely, otherwise it effects MY attitude, and that is the important thing for me - finding a way to prevent someone else's problem from becoming mine.

CakeBatter 03-04-2009 03:01 PM

Quote:

otherwise it effects MY attitude, and that is the important thing for me - finding a way to prevent someone else's problem from becoming mine
I love that!!!

krock614 03-04-2009 04:09 PM

Thanks for all the support ladies!! Good news though. My boss just told be they are transferring me to a different office to clean up some issues. So it doesn't matter what she says anymore. I won't have to hear it anymore.

NYCT1981 03-04-2009 04:24 PM

the best way i avoid this is when randoms (people im not close to) ask me if i've lost weight or what im doing, i just say vague things like, "i dont know.. im not sure, i think i am about the same.. not really doing anything, but that is nice of you to say."

jahjah1223 03-04-2009 07:49 PM

Tell her to try and eat lettuce all day too and see if that works for her. I really hate it when they think its sooo "easy" to lose when they don't even try it themselves.

Blcarter84 03-04-2009 08:49 PM

I had a coworker say something like that recently to me when soeone said how great i looked. She was like "do you starve yourself" like I dont eat or soemthing!! she has been trying to lose weight just not hard AT ALL..she eats crap all the time and I see her doing it.

So obviously these people are just jealous that we are ACTUALLY doing someting about this to be heathly happy people. just smile and move on:):)

nursemp 03-05-2009 05:45 AM

I agree with all of you, I have just started getting really serious and my best friend in the whole world works with me. She is also overweight the other day there was a treat sitting on the table in the break room and I didn't know who's it was so I asked if it was hers. She said yes and offered me some, I simply said no thanky you and I am trying to be good and have a snack for later. She got all offended and said that I was implying that she was a slacker and that I was being rude to her. I told her that it wasn't about her and it was about me, and that I would appreciate her helping me.. It is hard when you aren't on the same page.

tigarlily1 03-05-2009 08:31 AM

I know where you are coming from the other day it felt like my whole lunch table at work was trying to say without actually saying that I have either an eating disorder or poor body image or something. Like it wasn't right for me to want to lose weight. I told them I am not doing it for vanity I'm doing it because I want to be healthy and energetic. Plus I have diabetes on both sides of my family so I do have a higher risk if I don't keep on top of my weight. In a way it was flattering because they don't think I look like I need to lose weight but I definately don't think it's wrong to want to be healthy!!

Windchime 03-05-2009 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigarlily1 (Post 2640941)
I told them I am not doing it for vanity I'm doing it because I want to be healthy and energetic. Plus I have diabetes on both sides of my family so I do have a higher risk if I don't keep on top of my weight. In a way it was flattering because they don't think I look like I need to lose weight but I definately don't think it's wrong to want to be healthy!!

Of course not! And it's also not wrong if you were to want to lose weight for vanity's sake. People have as many reasons for wanting to lose weight as they have methods of accomplishing that goal.

I think that people make these thoughtless comments about starving and surviving on only lettuce because those are their past experiences with "dieting". Too often, it's not approached as a lifestyle change to healthy habits, but instead is seen as a time of restriction, deprivation, and being harsh to oneself. So when they see progress from someone who has made a lifestyle change, and they see her eating a nice salad at lunch, they automatically associate that with, "She is surviving on only lettuce! I couldn't do that!"

I honestly thing that a lot of people who say things like this aren't trying to be deliberately hurtful or rude; they're just saying something kind of thoughtless or unenlightened.


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