[Jelbb]

Haven't heard from him now since Tuesday morning, if the temper tantrum lasts that much longer, I'll end it FOR him, lol. =/

And... I've always been of the tragically mopey, I'm-going-to-die-alone-with-my-seventeen-cats variety. So despite knowing that I'm only 21, and I do get hit on, sometimes whistled at by sketchy middle-aged men, and such... I dread the idea of being alone again, and what it does (or, really doesn't do) for my self esteem, lol.

This author, Nick Hornby wrote, "Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26. We were of that disposition." That quote has always stuck with me, because I'm twenty-ONE, and of that disposition...

Wow, I sound like a giant whiner, don't I?
Anyhow, we need to see if things are truly over between Irish and I before I can do the moving-on jazz. =/

[NishKitten]

Haha! I love High Fidelity.

And no, you're not a whiner. Just a girl.

As tragic and useless and time consuming as I think my friends raw emotions are, I believe they find it just as sad that i'm so stoic and have never had that head-over-heels-I-would-die-for-you-like-Romeo-and-Juliet feeling about a guy. Ever. I typically see them as temporary usable commodity or a fashion accessory, which I'll admit is jaded and misandrist but it makes the breaking up a non-issue.

Whatever you do stick to your guns on this though. I have extra-sensory bad juju abilities and it would not bode well for you. I always love a good romantic reconciliation, but not if it means you losing your independence. That's how women suddenly end up in unhappy situations with a kid and their head spinning while they try to figure out how they got there. The bad thing is that once they figure it out, they usually can't justify leaving, or just don't have the ability to make it on their own.

[Annita]

sadly, i'm 22, in a long term relationship for 7 years and i have to say ~ I like to be single again ~ it's lucky to be single at young age ~
so for any girl who is still single ~ consider yourself lucky because later on, there'll surely be a true gentleman for you ~ so just enjoy your time of being single for a little longer ~ it won't last long as you might think ~


Well .... not that i dont like to have my bf


And i hope your bf will understand your situation and decide what's good for both of you without having to seperate ~ but if you do in a worse case, then :
either:
1. he's not for you
2. might be he's the guy for you but probably not now ~

good luck ~

[Jelbb]

Thanks ladies. You've all been a ton of help with this. My day-to-day friends are sick of hearing me talk about my Irish boy issues, because I've had my-boyfriend-isn't-affectionate-enough issues for ages, so I haven't even told most of them about this latest drama. I figure they're sick of hearing about him, and I want there to be a resolve on my part one way or another before I made the oh-so-grand gesture of changing my Facebook status to "single."

[SavingServo]

Originally Posted by Jelbb

This author, Nick Hornby wrote, "Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26. We were of that disposition." That quote has always stuck with me, because I'm twenty-ONE, and of that disposition...

I was just about to quote that to you!

[aneleh]

Is there a chance you're still with him because you don't want to be alone, or are waiting for something better to come along? That sums up my bad relationships LOL

[Jelbb]

Ehhhhhhh, it's true that I don't wanna be alone, yeah. I've never been much for the single life.

That being said, I was with a guy for a year and a half and ended things. I cried and I sobbed for weeks, but I knew it was the right choice. Something's different here. I don't KNOW that it's the right choice this time. And I'm not sure why. Maybe the distance? Maybe not having spent enough time with him to be able to say with full certainty? =/

....the fact that he's being such a child right now with my stressful decisions, well... it's not doing him any favours with my decisions...

[joyra]

Have you tried contacting him since you told him about looking for colleges? Might be worth it to say - "listen, we need to talk about this NOW."

I totally get you on closure. When I met my bf I had just started seeing this other guy--in fact I saw both of them for two months! They found out about each other and I realized I should choose. I chose the guy who is still my bf and I'm so happy about that... except feelings for the other remained a LONG time. I've recently been emailing him back and forth with a lot of frequency lately and that closure has finally come (maybe not for him--his emails are a little love letter-ish). I think that's pretty common when relationships end due to circumstances instead of falling out of love. A few of my friends also have exes from relationships that had to end because of distance or something like it and I know they still have feelings for them.

And if you do end up single, please enjoy it! I was single for 5 years and it took me until the last 2 to enjoy it--and I did! I still miss it, I had a lot of fun but my bf looks like he's for keeps so now I'm trying to figure out how to enjoy some of the single elements (mostly going out with friends more). Both times I met the boyfriends I've had is when I was happiest with my single life. It's like my pheromones are extra sweet when I'm self-satisfied.

[aneleh]

Originally Posted by joyra

I totally get you on closure. When I met my bf I had just started seeing this other guy--in fact I saw both of them for two months! They found out about each other and I realized I should choose.

That's pretty much the same with me and my bf! Just add on recently broke up with an ex right before that and that's my latest story.
I remember having to chose between them was sooo hard, it felt like this one decision will affect my life forever. In retrospect, no it didn't. I'm happy with my choice, but it really wasn't as life altering as it seemed at the time.

[Jelbb]

I messaged him today saying, "Should I just assume that we're never gonna talk things through? Or should I be holding out hope that you might want to once you've calmed down?"

And he replied (finally), "I've got an exam tomorrow and a file I've to finish for Monday that I'm stressing out over. But I'll txt you tomorrow after my exam."

So. We'll see, I suppose.
The other option that I have here is to do a course online, and I could be there, or here, or whatever... but I need to impress upon him the fact that he needs to let me make up my mind.

One way or another, I still hope he comes here in a few weeks. Pain in my *** that he be, I miss him. =/

Guhhhhhhhhhhh.

[joyra]

Originally Posted by aneleh

That's pretty much the same with me and my bf! Just add on recently broke up with an ex right before that and that's my latest story.
I remember having to chose between them was sooo hard, it felt like this one decision will affect my life forever. In retrospect, no it didn't. I'm happy with my choice, but it really wasn't as life altering as it seemed at the time.

Ha, I think mine was kind of life-altering! With my boyfriend, I finally realized my dream of living in another country. If I had gone for the other guy, I'm sure we'd have broken up by now. Since we only dated for two months, it was hard to get to know him but now that I'm knowing him better as friends, I can see he's kind of mentally unstable and can't hold down a job. I got the life I always wanted with my bf but when I was choosing, it was hard to see how either relationship would turn out. The other guy was so much fun when we were dating but I can see now it wouldn't have lasted.

Sorry to hijack your thread Jelbb!

Good luck with your guy! That's frustrating that he hasn't talked to you sooner--I know my bf would rather just ignore a serious issue forever than deal with a confrontation. Lucky for him, I'm the opposite and more than willing to put issues out in the open.

[MandiK]

I wouldn't do it. The reasons to stay where your at are far more than the reasons to go. Exploring Ireland should never be a reason to move. You can explore Ireland anytime without moving there.

[Jelbb]

Exploring Ireland isn't really the reason. I lived there for four months already... it's really moreso the relationship being at stake.

He hasn't txted me.
I'm starting to think we may have broken up without having verbally broken up. D'nno.