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Old 02-08-2009, 12:34 AM   #31  
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Originally Posted by junebug41 View Post
I had another very close friend who was so insecure and jealous over everything that she could not acknowledge ANYTHING good that happened to me. Ever. Internship at the Grammys? She never mentioned it. Lost a lot of weight? Didn't notice.
Oooo, just realized, this is yet another thing about your post that I can relate to! My roommate is just like this. We were really good friends last year when we were randomly assigned as roommates for our first year of college, so we decided to live together again this year, but she has since acquired a boyfriend (who has basically moved in with us, grrr) and never spends any time with me whatsoever anymore... So our friendship is a little strained to begin with... BUT, out of all of the people who have a definite presence in my life, she is literally THE only person who has not mentioned anything to me about my weight loss. Not a single word. And I know it's not because she hasn't noticed, because IMO it's not exactly a "subtle" change at this point, and everyone else has noticed--even the servers who work at my school dining hall have congratulated me on several occasions. One time, a couple weeks ago, I was talking to her and she suddenly got a strange look, and I thought Hey, maybe this is the moment! She's finally going to acknowledge the fact that I've lost ~80 lbs! But instead she said, and I quote: "You look--different." Not while cracking even the tiniest smile or giving any indication that she knew why I looked different, or that I looked different in a good way; oh no... Just "different." It was so weird! Something about it felt so rude, like she actually could not bring herself to give me a compliment. And that's the only time that she even came close to saying something about it.

It is a little annoying, because she is very thin and pretty, so there's no way I'd be a threat to her... I don't view myself as a "threat" to anyone, let alone someone who has a very steady boyfriend (who is extremely loyal and certainly is not/never would be the slightest bit interested in me). I dunno, I guess sometimes even the prettiest girls can be the most insecure, but it's very frustrating and disappointing that I can't count on her support. It's not as if I expect anyone to shower me with compliments and fawn all over me, not at ALL, but it seems fishy to me that all of my other friends have been extremely kind and supportive - and my mom, for her part, has accused me of being anorexic, so ya know it's gotta be noticeable - whereas she hasn't even mentioned it once... It makes me wonder why, you know? Cuz I really don't see a reason for it.

Last edited by Star2Be; 02-08-2009 at 12:35 AM.
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Old 02-08-2009, 01:16 AM   #32  
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One time, a couple weeks ago, I was talking to her and she suddenly got a strange look, and I thought Hey, maybe this is the moment! She's finally going to acknowledge the fact that I've lost ~80 lbs! But instead she said, and I quote: "You look--different." Not while cracking even the tiniest smile or giving any indication that she knew why I looked different, or that I looked different in a good way; oh no... Just "different."
@ it maybe being "the moment".

I found that incredibly hurtful. Here was someone who was closest to me and everyone is talking about my "success" and she can't squeak out one teeny tiny "Hey! Let's talk weightloss." I was completely mystified!

Aside from being the most insecure person I've ever known, I think it also had to do with the fact that she was always a little chubby, but I was always bigger then her. Always. It really seemed to upset her universe to have that dynamic change.

I still find that incredibly sad and have no use for that drama.

I don't think you are a threat to your friend (although from what I saw of my guy friend's gf's when I lost weight, nothing would surprise me), but these changes you're going through shake up dynamics and that really freaks people out.
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