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Old 01-18-2009, 08:36 PM   #16  
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gosh! you ladies sure are amazing! i've been struggling with the self-loathing/if only i weighed ____ then everything would be ok/feeling fat and ugly thing since probably early high school or late middle school. i guess i'm a bit of a contradiction because other times i feel confident, like i'm really beautiful and have my sh*t together (which is apparently the aura i give off to everyone except those with whom i'm very close), but i always seem to waffle back to the fatty self loathing.
and i know this really isn't healthy, but sometimes i can actually harness this negativity for good. sometimes on the treadmill, the only way i can get myself to that next quarter mile or next 5 minutes is to yell at myself and beat myself for being so fat. i mean, this isn't really how i feel, at least not all the time on an average day, but it's definitely in there.
anywaaaaay, to get back to your question, no you're not crazy. i actually think that's a great starting point that's a million miles healthier an attitude to go into this with than how im probably doing it. so keep on loving, and good luck on your journey!
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Old 01-18-2009, 08:49 PM   #17  
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I was miserable at my highest weight but that doesn't mean everyone has to reach that point ya know?
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Old 01-18-2009, 10:01 PM   #18  
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I'm the opposite on the treadmill....I'm always like, "Hey, I bet I can run faster than him."

And I can.

There is this one girl at my gym and we always seem to run into eachother and run beside eachother. It's a silent competition, we keep eachother motivated. She said to me one day, "Aw, wish you were running today, I need some motivation!" Love it!
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Old 01-18-2009, 10:42 PM   #19  
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you should never feel strange about feeling good, no matter what you look like. you have a leg up on a lot of people, lots of people lose weight because they think it'll fix their sadness or depression or self image. you're a step ahead of the rest. your happy now, think of how happy, and proud, you will be whe you reach a weight you want. your in a wonderfull place. and there are many who envy that.
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Old 01-18-2009, 11:36 PM   #20  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautiful Ace View Post

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH Okay.. you might think I'm crazy but I just had this memory flash of a joke I made about my own weight not even 5 months ago. I started laughing out loud, alone, in front of my computer....
Anyways, me and a couple people were driving in the country and were passing a stable and there were some baby ponies in there, I looked at my friend and said "I WANT TO RIDE ONE!" and then gave my best impression of the pony breaking under the pressure... OMG ok ... I just had to share it, it was a good laugh we had.
Yep, I switched schools in elementary school too, but my new school was better, but not by much.

LMAO!!! Omg, I can't stop laughing.. It's not even funny.. Lol. Well, yeah, it is. But I just pictured like.. Some random chick being like "GIDDY UP!" and it falling an it's legs sprawled out and a look of disappointment on a chick. Lol. It could happen to anyone. Lol.

Also, a few months ago, me and my friend were at our university, and we tried to go through the same door at the same time, and she is 290 lbs, and we actually got stuck for a moment, but I like squeezed out so quickly.. Lol.. I could just imagine how that looked to someone else.. Lol. We laughed about it though.

Oh, and also, we were in one of the elevators (going up to the 22nd floor.. So no stairs for us) and it stopped at one floor, and it was PACKED, and she like, fell over or something.. And landed on like, 3 people, and they all got pummelled to the floor.. I laughed hysterically! Lol. Sorry, I love embarassing moments. (Even though the ponymoment wasn't eembarassing), but yeah.. The sad part about the elevator story was when one of the dudes left, he was talking to his friend, and I heard him say "That fat chick just fell on me..." I was like.. aww.. He wasn't THAT skinny himself.. He had a fat head.. rawr! Lol.. Jk.
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Old 01-18-2009, 11:41 PM   #21  
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And you are all so great!! Thanks for your posts and I appreciate them a lot..
And Kataclismic, I do that too!! "Silent competition," or sometimes I'll cheat, and do an incline, and I won't be going as fast, but I would burn more calories (according to the treadmill screen thing) than the person beside me, and they're like.. WTH?! And start running faster.. And eventually they give up.. Lol.. But yeah, I feel bad, cuz they try so hard.. And probably got frustrated.. I suppose it's that feeling f success.. YES! I'M BURNING MORE CALORIES!!! ...
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Old 01-19-2009, 01:23 AM   #22  
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You're not crazy. I am the same way. I ate healthy - I looooove vegetables and fruits of all kinds and they were always in my diet. I love going out and doing fun things. I felt confident but not all the time. I didn't have many friends until High School. Once I got there, everyone liked me and no one made fun of me anymore. I never had trouble with guys. I got more attention then a lot of my thinner friends. But it's like what junebug said - I never felt comfortable in my own skin. I never thought of myself as fat until I looked in the mirror.
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