Post-Vacation Damage Control
 

Oh ladies.
When I get home, we are going to need to talk.

I have been eating the "irish way" since I've been here. Full Irish breakfasts (greasy, sausage and bacon-filled meals) and tons of beer. Since I don't eat wheat, when we go out to restaurants and I'm hungry, I often resort to french fries. Ick.

I've been weighing myself on my boyfriend's scale in the bathroom and the number is climbing. I don't know how much, because it's not in pounds... It worries me greatly, but I'm not fussed to stress too much while I'm here.

That being said, when I get home... I'm going back to eating like a saint! And I'll need all of your support!


For those who know my story... he says he noticed the weight loss, and that I looked good, but he didn't say anything until I prodded him into it. Things are going alright... the whole relationship is just really hard because of the long-distance, and the fact that every little thing he does that bothers me is magnified by ten thousand times because these few weeks are essentially the trial-run for me deciding if I want to move to Ireland for a year, right? He's not a very affectionate guy... despite the fact that his friends tell me he's crazy about me, it's hard to tell. I kinda have to force him into cuddling.
It's haaaard. :( I really care about him tho. I guess we'll see!

JELB!! we've missed you soo much!! I'm sure you will kick some butt when you get back! Hope things get easier with your bf! no man is the affectionate type lol

Enjoy the vacation while you have it! I'm sure the beer here is nothing like there. Live it up now and then its back to the grind when you get home!

Good luck with the boy. You know all boys are weird. They don't even speak our language! :dizzy:

Jelbb,

First, I agree with everyone else, enjoy your vacation! Sure you could probably cut a few calories here or there, but don't limit yourself and just eat rabbit food and miss out on the fun of another culture, high-cal or not. Plus we'll all be here for you when you get back on the boards (and "on board").

As for the guy, ugh, I'm afraid this "trial run" might not be the most accurate test of how your relationship together would be if you lived in the same place. First, calling it a trial run puts a lot of pressure on the situation. You said yourself you are far more annoyed by faults or flaws than you would normally be under different circumstances.

Secondly, as far as not being affectionate, in my own situation, my boyfriend is affectionate but his problem is he not romantic/thoughtful. To make me happy and make our relationship work, I am always having to point out romantic/thoughtful things I see or think about and say something like "boy, I'd love it if someone would do that for me! Hint!" ... I wish he was more naturally that way but he's not. And it's worth it for me to have to blatantly ask for what I want then to either a) not get it or b) trade him in for someone else. You really might have to just always make him cuddle with you. But maybe the pros of the situation outweigh that fact. ???? I don't know!

Anyways, if you move to Ireland, don't just make it all about him (though obviously he would be a big part of the equation)... make it some adventure that's for you too. Otherwise all the pressure is on him to make you happy and if you're not happy, your relationship will suffer.

When are you coming back? Come join the challenges and the rest of us will help kick your butt back into shape. Arthwen's doing a get active challenge and the main Biggest Loser challenge is starting soon too.

Jelbb! I miss you! i'm excited to hear the rest of your trip soon.

Sorry, you sound a little let down. It'll be nice to get back to the states and clear your head, get some external perspective on things. Enjoy the rest of your trip, that's what you are there for!! :)

Can't wait til you get back girly!!I hope you are having a ton of fun

Don't worry! You will get back on track as soon as you get home! Enjoy your time and don't worry about the Bf. Sometimes I think that my husband is angry or being standoffish and really he is just quiet and I am the farthest from quiet so I have a hard time relating. Maybe he just isn't affectionate. For example I am very affectionate and always say I love you. My Grandmother NEVER says it. Its like she doesn't want to show weakness. I know she loves me but when ever I say it to her there is like an awkward pause because she doesn't know how to say it back.

JELBB!! Girl, we have been missing you sooo much on here! I hope you are having an absolutely fabulous vacation. And seriously, I'd say don't worry too much about the weight thing. I put on 4.4 lbs this past week, which, yeah, totally sucks (haha), but in the grand scheme of things, you know that you will be able to get rid of anything you might have gained. Ya gotta remember that "this is a marathon, not a sprint" and all that. ;) And we WILL be here to give you support when you return to your saintly eating habits! God know it isn't coming too easily for me, LOL, so we can support each other. :D

As for the boy, I'm afraid that I am absolutely useless to you in that area... I am (unfortunately) pitifully inexperienced with the opposite sex. But I wish you the best of luck with figuring things out!

Jelbb :hug:

I'm eating like crap out here in San Francisco too. :o And I don't even have the whole "Irish eating" excuse, just letting myself get away with too much. But I'm trying to get back on the wagon! I'm sure I'll fall off for New Year's, but I'll be happy if I can be good until then.

Jelbb,

It's always difficult to stay on plan when on a trip like yours.

I would have to say to stay true to yourself. No matter what, don't settle! I kissed over a hundred frogs before I found the toad that was right for me! Good luck to you! Let us know how it's going.

Jelbb-- Remember that you will be able to drop those pounds pretty quickly when you come home. Drink plenty of water (without ice in Europe, eh?) and make the best choices you can. You will easily go "back to normal" when you come home-- we have confidence in you!! :)

Thanks ladies, I appreciate everything you've said. :)

Especially you, Joyra, your post made me feel a ton better. The truth is, for the most part, he makes me happy. But we've spent more of our relationship apart than we have TOGETHER, so I think we're both learning how to live with each other, and HE'S dealing with me suddenly being in his space alll the tiiime, which is something he'd have to adjust to. ;) I've been stressing so much about all the little things instead of focusing on when things are good.

I'd never be the kinda gal that wanted to "settle" for someone who didn't make me happy, I'm really strong-willed and believe that I deserve a great guy who's crazy about me. I think it might take me a bit to decide FOR SURE whether he's the one for me or not, and I need to stop thinking of my decision to move here for a year as the end-all-and-be-all. I can move here for a year, have my little adventure, then if we decide it's not working... move back home.

Squirrelygirl-- my guy's the same kinda way... I'm not sure if or when I'll hear the "l-word," I've only just got the kid admitting how much he likes me, and usually only when he's drunk and I'm prompting him do I get any sort of verbal confirmation, lol. It seems to make him very uncomfortable. Weirdo.

Anyhow,
I LOVE YOU ALL. I really appreciate all the support and everything you girlies say and do. Be back on the forums more often soon!

<3Jess

Don't you just love the adjustment period? It will never get easier either, but the annoyance subsides with time. You just need to rest assured in the fact that you can only despise someone as much as you love them. :p

DH almost had a spot reserved for him in a dank part of the Everglades, but then he started washing the dishes every day without me even asking and i've been smitten ever since. :D

Jelbb, glad I could help some!

Personally, I think it's a great opportunity to live in another country! If you go, just do your best to establish yourself, join groups, find friends, find things to do with your boyfriend and things to do without him, and do it as soon as possible. My boyfriend and I have been living for 4 months in a one-room studio in South Korea... uhhh, we've had some hard times! I wish I would've tried harder when I got here to make friends but my bf and I just kind of stuck with each other and now that's all we have--each other. Many of the people who were hired through the same program are all friends with each and it's hard to be like months later--hey gang, remember how we seemed disinterested in being your friend? Well, will you be our friends now???

Anyways, I've heard enough horror stories about gfs (or bfs) moving across country or across oceans and finding themselves totally dependent on their significant others and really straining the relationship. You're probably a social and creative person who can take care of herself, but sometimes the shock of being so far away can make you be a bit too dependent on the one person you're familiar with.