Well, let me just preface by saying the only REALLY close person to me in my life right now is my boyfriend of 3 years. He is my best friend, on my basically only real good close friend, and my lover.
I was feeling kinda crappy today because some girl at a party the other night looked down at my stomach and then seriously asked if I was pregnant. So I have begun to realize how fat I am getting, and how I am gaining back all of my weight that I had lost ( I was down to 210 in May).
I have recently "broke up" with my best friend of 6 years. We haven't talked to each other in over 2 months. And I don't plan to be friends with her again. So I have been getting over that, and having my boyfriend as one of the only people that cares about me in my everyday life.
Well today, I was nagging him about some really annoying thing he was doing, and he said "God, get a life". And he was serious. And I snapped and said "F*ck you, you get a life! You f*cking a-hole!" and I pushed him, and stormed out of his house.
Today was supposed to be my first day back on track. I had re-committed in my head, and my boyfriend and I were supposed to be on our way to the grocery store to get good healthy food. ( I don't have a car, so the only way I can get there is him).
Instead, I came home and instantly fell asleep from being sad (for about 1/2 hour). Then I woke up and contemplated ordering a pizza and eating it all to myself. Instead, I went and bought a 12 pack of oreos, a box of mac and cheese, and a Betty Crocker cake bowl. and I ate ALL of it! There is only a little bit of mac and cheese left. And now I feel sick to my stomach. And yet if I had more chocolate, I would probably eat it.
I'm just disgusted with myself. I am so disgusted and ashamed at my lack of control and my food addiction, and my lack of motivation to exercise. And the way I use food to make myself feel better.
Man, it sucks badly, but I've been there, and I imagine many others have as well. I'm sure you and your boyfriend will work through this, having a fit and snapping at the ones you love is not uncommon.
It's important not to be ashamed, if you can help it, and not consider this a major personal failure. We're all imperfect, and you've made a great deal of progress which this episode doesn't negate in any way. While getting to the root of why you (me, we, all of us) take comfort in food when you have an emotional setback is the important thing here, of course, weight-loss wise, don't beat yourself up over this too much, if that's what you're concerned with. Honestly, I am intimately familiar with all those foods (), and I have to say, that really isn't too bad of a splurge. To put it in perspective, I've done MUCH MUCH worse -- during finals I loaded up on full meals at 5 separate fast food restaurants and scarfed the food at each all while driving to the next food destination. Hey, at least you weren't mobile while having your binge
I really don't know how to make myself feel better without binging. Also my boyfriend is really the only person in my life. My friends and family are 15 time zones away so if I'm feeling down, I can't necessarily just call them up either. Luckily (sometimes unluckily I feel), I am with my boyfriend pretty much 24/7 when I'm not working and it's impossible to binge in front of him so I am 99.9% binge free these days (even when I strongly want to!)
I wish I had advice or wisdom but I don't. I just can tell you I can totally relate. I wish I had better coping skills myself but I don't.
Also I commented about the pregnant comment on your other thread but each time I heard that I thought it would be a turning point for me, like, I'll make sure that never happens again by going gung-ho on my diet.. didn't ever happen. Anyways, please don't let yourself stay "down." If you're at all similar to me, binges are best followed by more binges. The more I binge, the more desperate I was to succeed and the more I set myself up for some epic fail that led to another binge. I felt so fragile after a binge like I'm so close to throwing all my hardwork away. Please, hang tough!
I hate binge eating but sadly I am one of those people too. I have found that when I start to feel as though I'm going to binge I do a few things to try to and stop me. First I call someone to help, if there is no one around I start writing emails. I will write an email to everyone one of my friends in my address book if I have too. I will also write in a journal or try to talk on IM to anyone of my friends that happen to be online. I find that if I waste time doing something else I can stop the urge to binge. Yes my friends will all get random emails, letters or facebook messages from me but I think they would rather read those messages than see me miserable because of my weight. I hope you feel better and just know that you are not alone in your fight to lose weight
Sounds just like me...... junk food makes me feel better....at first, then afterwards I feel like a bag of crap.
Honestly, this weekend was BAD BAD BAD for me. I binged Friday and Saturday, then had a breakdown Saturday night. I was crying for about 2 hours in my friends car. It was horrible!.
Today I have woken up and am starting FRESH. You just have to start all over again.
You are not alone. I definitely am a binge eater. When I am feeling bad and am alone...Taco Bell does the trick for me. And as always I feel miserable afterward. Just remember you are not alone. You have all of us here....today is a new day and start over!! Good luck!
Don't beat yourself up over this. Put it behind you and start over. This happens to many of us, at times. The important thing is you don't have to stay there.
All you can do is assess damage and start fresh today.
Yesterday I was in the kitchen cleaning preparing dinner and kids were fighting and cranky and DH was yelling and cranky and I automatically started scarfing down all the junk I could scrounge up in the house. I continued thru dinner and after kids bedtime and today I feel awful, have REALLY terrible gas (TMI, but- now my binge affects my commuters and co-workers) and am berating myself for jumping into bad habits after working so hard to feel great.
Today, I am getting back on the wagon and am contemplating a thread reaching out for all the words of wisdom and encouragement that 3fc posters and give.
I ordered a gluten-free cheese pizza last night from Pizza Pizza when I discovered that I'm an idiot, and I'd thought that my Tuesday exam was... well on Tuesday. I discovered Sunday night at 8 pm that my "Tuesday" exam was Monday morning at 8:30 AM... (this morning..)
Well. As you can imagine, I was stressed and upset.
I ate more than half of the pizza while I was studying, then ate the rest today. I'm glad it's gone, because now I'm done with my little binge, but... it was totally unnecessary and I get the guilt feeling you have afterwards.
Don't stress too much, tho, honey. You and me? We're gonna pick right back up where we left off, and start being mad healthy all over again!
The boyfriend thing sucks, but it happens, big fights like that.. You love each other, and it'll be fine. Just give it some time.
Well look at it like this girl, you didn't screw up THAT bad. At worst you probably consumed what -- 1500-2000 cals IF that?
It's not like you sat and binged and scarfed down 10,000 cals within an hour (my best friend still does this, then she just won't eat for 2 weeks after... scary, I know)
Exercise an extra half hour today, then get started again. And I hate to say it, but your BF is right. You've gotta get someone outside of him and start getting out more, even if it's on your own. Do you have any cousins you've lost touch within the area, or classmates you could strike up a conversation with? Even co-workers! I love going to the movies, and getting dressed up just to go window shopping by myself. The walking in heels is great exercise and I pretend i'm Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
You won't feel so bad and this experience won't be so hard if you do. It's amazing what fresh air, a new building, and meeting new people can do.
I agree with what the others have said, Vdaybaby. Try not to feel guilty over it, you didn't wreck all the hard work you have done so far. It's not one binge that makes us fat, it's the "giving up" part. And I think what happened with your boyfriend is normal too, not pleasant but normal. You'll be fine!
I don't plan on binging today. I am sick and I don't have any food, and my boyfriend is the only on around with a car to take me to the store. Otherwise, it's an hour bus commute in 45 degree weather (which I do NOT want to do sick). SO I guess I will just be eating oatmeal and quesadillas today!
when you snap and go buy tons of food
), and I have to say, that really isn't too bad of a splurge. To put it in perspective, I've done MUCH MUCH worse -- during finals I loaded up on full meals at 5 separate fast food restaurants and scarfed the food at each all while driving to the next food destination. Hey, at least you weren't mobile while having your binge 
