HURT and Feeling Down :( Long - Page 2 - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 11-02-2008, 11:16 PM   #16  
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OK I'm so glad you posted this - I'm really sorry you had to go through that but don't feel bad because guess what- the weight you are at is a lot of women's GOAL WEIGHT! Even on this site! You and I are about the same size, I think. I'm probably a bit bigger, actually. I had a similar experience with my mom just a few weeks ago. It does hurt, but the fact is they love us, even if they aren't very tactful and may not know how hard we are working at losing the weight.
What he thinks is HIS business, you just keep doing your thing and keep at it. You will feel SO much better about yourself when you can show your family and friends that you are NOT the fat girl in the family (haha, i feel that way too!). You are not alone, and you can do it.
Good luck!
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Old 11-02-2008, 11:24 PM   #17  
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I really do wonder about this man, he seems to have an unusual interest in your weight. Does he have mental problems? Or is he just nosy ? I have several uncles and not one of them has commented on my weight, even when I was over 200 pounds.
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Old 11-02-2008, 11:31 PM   #18  
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Wow. I agree with everyone -

also, tell him how to help you. He's saying these things out of care for you, but tell him it will have a negative effect, and instead - give him an example of what he could say next time to help you on your journey, not hinder you
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Old 11-03-2008, 05:41 AM   #19  
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siigh, i'm sorry that you have to put up with those comments from family. But he doesn't really know what he's saying, I mean, nuts don't have cholesterol and the whole Tabasco thing...you keep doing what you're doing and don't let him derail all your progress because you are worth it.
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Old 11-03-2008, 08:55 AM   #20  
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Hi,

I don't post here often but I visit a lot. I had to respond to this.

I have an uncle who is extremely cruel to me. He always made "little" remarks about how I'm a failure as a person in some way or the other. I dropped out of college last year to get myself together as a person (it's been a hard road since my mom died 7 years ago) and this just gave him more ammo. I've never talked back because my dad depends on my uncle a lot so he has this power over me. One day he pulled me aside said:

"Don't drop out of college because there's nothing out there for you if you do. You'll just end up working some dead end job, you couldn't even make it as a prostitute. You're not gonna make any money off of your looks that's for sure...and if you drop out you'll just sit around eating all day and getting fatter. You haven't done anything with your life since your mom died, what are you waiting for? It's been 7 years, nobody feels sorry for you anymore. You've had time to grieve. Oh, and stop your smoking. You're just doing it to fit in with your friends. You're going to end up exactly like your father, slowly dying."

Well, I haven't smoked since my father got diagnosed with lung cancer last year. That man never knew I smoked anyway. I was so offended, I cried my eyes out for days later. I've never been disrespected like that in my whole, I felt judged and violated.

The ironic thing about this is, one time my uncle let me borrow his computer in 9th grade to get on AOL and I pulled down the drop down menu and saw nothing but barely legal porn and disgusting search words like "lolita panties". He didn't even delete it, and he knew I was coming over beforehand. Keep in mind this is a 65 year old man who is a retired teacher and a current Sunday school teacher! I kept that secret because I felt like I shouldn't judge him.

Then he judges me. That man with obvious issues...made me cry in front of him with embarrassment.

I regret never saying anything, and he still does it and I still don't say anything. When I tell my dad I don't like my uncle, I get yelled at. My dad doesn't see how he treats me.

So creepy/mean uncles are a touchy subject for me. I think you should write something in your head, then pull it aside and tell him. Like the other poster said, you are a grown woman who can eat anything at anytime. Let him know that. I'm sure he isn't perfect and struggles with his own issues, and wouldn't appreciate you scolding him.

I wrote a lot!
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Old 11-03-2008, 12:11 PM   #21  
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I would just like to say- Please dont let ANYONE get you down. Your doing great things to make a healthier you! Keep up your weight loss journey- If you need any encouraging, Im here for you. I too know how it feels to be the "Fat girl" in the family. But I'd rather be the fat girl than the mean demeaning uncle!
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Old 11-06-2008, 06:47 PM   #22  
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I can't thank you enough girls for all your support, it really means a LOT to me. You are all great and because of your kind advice that I am not getting depressed over what happened. Thanks a lot
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Old 11-06-2008, 08:23 PM   #23  
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What I have to say is not much different from anyone else here, but I read your post and my heart aches for you. I have been the fat girl in the family and I have been asked if I'm pregnant too many times to count and I have been given talks about everyone's concern for my health... and darn-it-all if it only hurts and makes the journey harder.

I find your uncle's behavior so inappropriate and cruel. As if you're not aware of your own body. If he really felt like helping, wouldn't meeting with you privately be a better situation? Rather than humiliating you in front of your family at a meal?

We're all here for you and I think we'd all do good to remember that everyone on here has probably been treated like this at one point or another. The best thing we can do is support eachother.
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