By losing weight are you losing part of your old identity? - Page 2 - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 10-27-2008, 02:01 PM   #16  
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I hope that I AM losing part of my old identity, the part that I'm ashamed of and that I hide behind. When people bring up the "are you losing weight" thing, it makes me really uncomfortable. But I'm learning to just accept it and talk about it.

But I'm pretty much regaining an identity from having lost or let go of everything in my life these last several years. I want to have those things I never even thought about before. I want to be a certain kind of person, someone with confidence who is social and has friends and a life. My old identity just happened, this one I am choosing.
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Old 10-27-2008, 02:27 PM   #17  
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Ghost- You're funny! Thanks! Hopefully they'll be able to tell. I'm nervous about seeing my sister (if she sees me, she's still not talking to me right now) she's a size 0 and doesn't like when I get the attention. I need to take some pictures!

June- It's funny how guys change around us. At first you're cool and safe and then all of the sudden they can't see you as a friend anymore. Guys are weird! I wonder why guys won't try the same stuff as we look better? Any theory on that?

Bell- I think we all have to make choices to keep choosing the best us. Why do you get uncomfortable when people bring it up? I love it! I'm like heck yes I am, don't I look good? Wear like a badge. It takes self control, hard work, and courage to lose weight! You have all of those qualities.
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Old 10-27-2008, 03:00 PM   #18  
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I think guys treat us differntly when we look HAWT because they are suddenly attracted to us. It totally changes the dynamics of the relationship because most guys (not *all* guys) think with their *ahem*'s. I have a guy friend who struggles to maintain our friendship because he freely admits that now he's attracted to me sexually instead of just on a friendly basis. But you know what, I'm glad he put that out there, cause sometimes its good to know your hot enough to turn your guy friends on. It def made me feel freakin fabulous the day he told me that. and now that I'm single, who knows...maybe he'll be a friend with benefits...*wink*
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Old 10-27-2008, 03:33 PM   #19  
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My problem is that I feel the same no matter how much I weigh. I still feel like the fat ugly friend. When I went out with my friends for my birthday, it felt weird that the guys were paying attention to me when both of my friends were wearing mini sweater dresses and dancing together. I don't know; I kept thinking that it’s all these skinny females around, why are you trying to get at me? I've lost 50 lbs and still pretty much feel the same about myself...I suppose I'm a little scared that I can lose another 50 lbs and still think I look like crap because part of who I am is having issues with the way I look.
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Old 10-27-2008, 04:12 PM   #20  
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HWGA -- I think it's any kind of attention that makes me uncomfortable, like "oh, people are looking at me". Part of me just wants to blend in...

Even though I feel better, I stand straighter, make more eye contact, walk faster, do more... and I wouldn't mind if at least one person noticed (preferable a guy, hippy-ish with a beard and an affection for cats -- hahaha). But will I even realize it if it happens? Who knows, maybe it has already but since I have no idea what the signs are or how to act, ehhh *skipping over the negative thoughts about myself*.

It will happen, it will happen, I'll be me just a better version of the person I've been covering up all these years!
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Old 10-27-2008, 05:45 PM   #21  
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Working in a public school has brought up a few of these issues for me. For instance, the kids describe me as the big one or the fatter one only because they don't have many words for describing people. It is kinda hard for kids to distinguish us when we all wear red, have dark hair, and are pretty much the same height. So what is left? Size. But they aren't trying to be mean. (Well, the little ones aren't anyway. )

I feel as a big girl, that people don't respect me as much. A little like a have a disease. I also feel like when we talk about working out, and I am discussing Jillian Michaels, they are thinking, "It can't be that hard. She must be really out of shape." At work I am really reserved and I try to keep my head down and not draw attention to myself.

Do you think I will be more self confident after losing?
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Old 10-27-2008, 08:18 PM   #22  
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I don't think we are internally changed with weight loss. I have been up and down the scales and on both ends I feel fundamentally the same. I just feel more self confident and more willing as my smaller self. Not to say I am not confident now, I think any one who knows me would say that! But I am talking about that internal confidence, the one only I know of.
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:52 PM   #23  
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i felt like when i was thinner i was a lot more confident (i think we all are). but i was WAY more outgoing, always laughing at myself and the people around me. i could start a conversation with anyone. as i put weight on.. i sort of faded in the background. but what was weird about being thin (i lost 60 pounds to get there) was i always questioned why people were talking to me. i still felt like a big girl because i had been her for so long, so to have people talking to me all of a sudden i kind of took offense to it.

am i making sense?
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Old 10-28-2008, 09:45 PM   #24  
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Well, I don't think I've changed much yet, or lost any part of me. But last time around, when I got down to 144, I remember feeling almost more self conscious because I felt like people were always looking at me, guys especially. And because I've been overweight since I was 8, I'm really not used to that. So this time around, when I start feeling like that I am going to work on my confidence, I want to lose the part of me that makes me want to glare or hide whenever I notice someone looking.
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Old 10-29-2008, 02:45 AM   #25  
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here we go again - I think I have spent quite a bit of time identifying myself as a fat girl.. even when I was younger and thinner.. I sometimes feel like thats who I am, I don't know if thats a bad thing though. Because as long as I always have that in me, I won't be one of those people who treat large people in a bad way. I know I am constantly reinventing who I am, and I imagine you will too as you lose the weight. I don't know if it's possible for this journey not to change us! Thats my late night babbling, hopefully it makes sense!

-Aimee
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