I've totally fallen off the wagon the past couple of weeks.
I figured that a good way to help myself climb back onto the wagon would be to confess/vent about what's been going on. That way, at least in my mind, the issue would be more real, unignoreable, and I could climb back onto the wagon somehow. I apologize in advance for the length of this post.
It all started when I went to visit my younger sister at dental school for a ceremony the class of '12 was having.
Now, we may be sisters, but we are very different. We come from a very middle class background. Both of our parents are immigrants and worked very hard for their modest home and belongings. We were never poor, and were lucky enough to have everything we needed. But talking to my sister you would think that we were on food stamps. She was always embarassed of our house and of our belongings and for that reason never invited anyone over.
As she has got older, it seems her problem has gotten worse. It has become obvious that she's not only embarassed of her background, she's embarassed of her family. Here are a few examples from the visit:
Basically, the whole weekend she made me (and I'm pretty sure my mother too) feel pretty worthless. It's true, I'm not rich. I guess I could best be described as sort of hippy-ish. I really don't care about fashion, name-brands, main-stream TV/entertainment. I prefer the outdoors, reading, gardening, etc. I have a career that I enjoy and leaves me time to live life, but does not necessarily pay mega bucks. I live in a cozy little house (which she criticized as well for having siding) as opposed to a giant McMansion. And I am happy with that. I've never wanted things, what good will they do me? Things can always be taken away, knowledge and experiences can't. I just don't understand her position I guess...
All of that, plus the foot injury (which the HMO is soooo expeditiously taking care of) has totally sideswiped any progress I might have been making. The past few weeks have been nothing but no working out coupled with serious bingeing. I'm afraid to step on the scale
Argh, I shouldn't let it get to me that much, but emotions are sooooo hard to control.
I apologize again for the rambling, I just had to get it out.