Well, it's a "strictly platonic" ad, but it feels the same. I've gotten a surprising number of responses in just the couple hours since I posted it. Why do I feel like I'm going to be going on a blind date? I know this probably seems silly but I'm not into the whole club/bar thing and since hubby and I are both homebodies, it's been impossible finding friends.
Any advice for screening/and or making the first meeting go well?
An older lady (well, not really old, but 45) contacted me and I'm really thinking about getting back to her. It almost feels like the "safe" choice though. Like she won't reject me for not being cool enough or something. Does that make sense? Would I be better off trying to find someone my own age?
I wish this were as easy as elementary school. You wear the same outfit or like the same cartoon and you've got an automatic friend. Sheesh.
I would suggest meeting in a public location like an outdoor mall or the peir or something like that where there are lots of people. I would also suggest if your ad was online then talk online a bit before you actual met.
Two side notes:
1. I've been thinking of going on a personal dating site because as you said meeting people is not easy at all.
2. I notice you are from San Diego ... how do you like living there? I recently went there for the second time and loved it. I'm really considering looking for jobs there when I graduate in May.
That's awesome. I know what you mean, about not feeling cool enough. I sometimes get that feeling when meeting people my age.
I'd definately meet up with her. I have a strong friendship with a group of women who are all much older than I am. Three are in their early 40's and one is in her late 60s. We met as girl guide leaders and get together about every 6 weeks for a glass of wine and chit chat. I never would have though that I would have much in common with them, but they offer a such a different perspective on things and I really enjoy our get togethers.
My best guy friend is in his early 40's as well. I love having friends at different stages in their lives. It make things interesting.
I think with today's very busy modern world, personal ads are actually a great way (with some common sense) to meet people you otherwise wouldn't.
I met my husband through a personal ad I placed in a local newspaper where I was living at the time, and on their companion website. Responses went to a voicemail system, so my identity and contact information was protected until I chose to disclose it. There were some creepy responses that I didn't respond to, there were a few that I talked to on the phone and only two I met in person (only hubby got a second date). My husband was such a gentleman, he didn't ask my last name till we'd been seeing each other a couple weeks (I thought I'd given it to him).
I've never placed a platonic ad before, but I've been thinking of doing so, because I'd like to put tothether a knitting and crocheting or mixed group or club. I'd been looking on Craig's list and Meetup to see if anyone else was looking, and since I've seen nothing, I've been thinking of doing so.
As for age, I think common interests are more important than chronological age. There's no reason that you have to pick just one friend, so I don't think you have to choose between anyone. Because there are chances that online folks aren't being entirely truthful, the best advice I can give regarding screening is don't give personal information too quickly, and meet in a public place until you're comfortable with the person. Always leave contact information with a friend or family member, and trust your gut if something about the person makes you feel uncomfortable. Be most wary of people who seem "too good to be true," or seem to be trying to only tell you things they seem to think you want to hear. Someone who decides that you're instantly their bestest, bestest friend in the entire universe after having only spoken to you for five minutes, might have "issues" that at least would become irritating and at worst could be signs of a true mental illness.
Mostly though, online people run the same gamut as people you'd meet everyday in person. The main difference is that in-person people tend to come with more references, as we generally meet people through other people more often than random hookups, so we know some of the friends and aquaintences of the person. If there's something "not quite right" about a person, we might be more likely to hear about it from the people who know our new potential friend. When you're meeting someone who isn't already a friend or family member of a friend or family member, you just have to pay more attention and trust your instincts.
I actually met my husband on a Christian dating website. I NEVER thought I would do this, but it totally worked for us and we are very happily married. I don't see why this wouldn't be a great way to make friends as well! Good luck!
I definitely got some "off" responses. Two sound legitimate so far, the 45 yo and another girl my age. You guys are right about the age thing. I'll definitely be responding to her, she really seems nice! I'm thinking the beach will be a nice place to meet people. It's public without seeming quite as official or obvious as Starbucks or something.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RemeberHowToSmile
2. I notice you are from San Diego ... how do you like living there? I recently went there for the second time and loved it. I'm really considering looking for jobs there when I graduate in May.
I LOVE San Diego. We actually live in the northern part of the county. People are pretty laid back here. Its a very active place, races and bike paths and gyms on every corner, and the weather is nice year round. Balboa Park is amazing with just about every museum you can imagine, not to mention the zoo. And you can't beat the beach! Also very pet friendly, if that applies to you. I take my boston terrier everywhere with me and get nothing but smiles and positive comments. There are downsides obviously. Cost of living is pretty high, although that goes for all of California, and traffic can be crazy if you have to drive far for work. I would definitely recommend it though.
RHTS: I've thought about only dating too...mostly because I don't have time to meet men the 'traditional' way...I'm usually approached at gas stations. I'm just paranoid that I'll seem desperate if I do it, or I'll only get crazy responses.
When I got separated I had no friends here in Dallas so I was looking for a divorce support group....as I was researching on the internet I ran across meetup.com. Its the BEST place to meet people for all kinds of things! You sign up, enter your zip code and interests and dozens of groups will pop up for you to review and join. I joined the most wonderful group of folks going through the same thing I was and am still involved 2 and a 1/2 years later. I also belong to a jewelry making group, a cooking group, a Bunco group and two girlfriends groups. I highly recommend it.
For those of you interested in dating try plentyoffish.com. Its free, world wide and I met some great guys on there. I have actually been dating my boyfriend that I met there for the last 15 months...
Arlene, I actually already belong to meetup.com. I joined two groups, the Boston Terrier group and the Deaf Dog group. The problem is all people do is watch their dogs play and then leave! I guess I could look at some of the other groups but I'm not into knitting or wine or bestseller books. I'll have to look again though.
Stacy-I know what you mean. I have a poodle and a bichon and I joined one of the bichon groups but dropped out due to sheer BOREDOM...but whatever your other interests are there are usually a group that does it....good luck!
My bf's family is from San Diego and I'll be there in about a month! I was there last year over Christmas and I loved it. I couldn't believe we were actually walking on the beach at night in December and I wasn't freezing to death. I'm from the midwest so thats just insane to me. Anyway- I can totally see how it'd be hard to meet people, there's just so many people and everyone seems so busy.. too busy for new friends anyway!
Eek! I can't believe I posted a personal ad!
