Rant!!!!
 

So I went home to a wedding this weekend...and almost every conversation I had with everyone was about my diet/how much I've changed.....Does anyone get SICK of hearing about it? Yes it's great to be complimented but after a while it's like arghhhh...there's a little MORE to life than getting healthy and being healthy!

Another thing I have to B&^%$ about is the fact that some people..especially my mother and grandmother constantly kept saying that I've "lost enough" now....and perhaps should gain back a few lbs.

I'm NOT underweight..my absolute limit is 140 lbs...I feel great..I'm eating more now than I ever was...I'm working out (not a fanatic though) and finally feeling great about myself!

My aunt commented to my grandmother that I look pale...um I've always BEEN quite pale and just because now i'm pale AND thin it doesn't mean i'm suddenly ill....arghh.lol...my grandmother also told me my aunt thought i smiled more and seemed happier/jollier when i was a little larger..OH MY GOD! Perhaps i was tired..........and absolutely sick and tired of discussing weightloss.

Has anyone had to almost defend their weightloss to others?? I am wondering if its because they are a little jealous..especially my aunt because she has told me over and over she wishes she could lose weight like myself....I just wish they wouldn't worry because I honestly feel the greatest I've felt in a long time.

Anyways I spent the entire weekend eating junk almost just to prove to some of them that I'm not crazy/fanatic about weightloss...I do have treats here and there..it is all about moderation.

Other than that a lot of people said I looked amazing and that they were so proud of me..soo it wasn't totally horrible :)

Ah yes... my grandmother did that to me when I'd visibly lost weight.
"Ah.. Jess, don't you think you've lost enough weight now?" *knowing and concerned look, as though she somehow knows that I have an eating disorder that I'm unaware of...?* And she does it to my mother as well.

Well... I haven't lost enough weight for anyone who I haven't told to notice that I've lost any weight... but I can imagine with a loss of nearly 90 lbs, people would be a lot more fixated on it with you... I bet that WOULD get annoying. :(

yes it truely is annoying!!!!!!!! Relatives I haven't seen in about ten years were there....they kept saying how great I look...relatives I've seen a year ago..and seen me at my largest were the ones more concerned.

Ick to have them concerned. I guess it's good, it means they care about you, but... still, annoying. I guess the best you can do is assure them that you're simply eating healthily, and they have nothing to worry about...

My brother lost a TON of weight when he started dating his now-fiance. He didn't feel good enough for her, because my brother's a good looking guy, but he had a little bit of a belly. She's got model-esque proportions, so. I suppose he felt he needed to match? He dropped a LOT of weight, REALLY quickly. But he would do stupid things like... eat two chocolate brownies, lament about how many calories he'd just taken in, then decide to skip lunch entirely.

Now, HIM, we were worried about.

You, on the other hand... I wouldn't worry about. ;)

Congratulations on a great loss! Don't let people's misguided comments bug you. Some people just can't help making comments . You know how you feel and 140 sounds reasonable for your height.

Thanks girls...the support here is amazing :)

Hi, and congratulations to you for attaining your goal. Families have a tendency to feel it's their duty to be painfully honest and after speaking their peace - not shutting up! I guess our elders feel that we will always be at the age when all must be repeated more than once followed by examples (such as being pale). I would like to be the one to give you pearls of wisdom (but as you can see, I'm no where near my goal but closer than I was 2 week ago) only that - It's family, and the most we can do is "erk" them all by trying to explain how wrong they:bravo::haphal: are OR wait for the next family member to take your place in the "Look What They'd Done Now" discussion...

Congratulations on being who you are now!

Congratulations!!

Hey, you have a bit of the "wow" factor going on right now and that's ok! You've worked your butt off and people are taking notice! It can be a little off-putting (especially at functions like weddings and reunions), but it will fade... and then you'll realize how motivating it was to have people comment ;)

I think what bugged me the most was how "wide eyed" people acted around me as well as the fact I was hearing the same comments and being asked the same questions over and over and over again.

And if it makes you feel any better, my mom actually stood outside the bathroom door when she came to visit me after I lost most of the weight, just to make sure I wasn't purging. Once they realize you won't, you know, disappear, they'll mellow out. Promise :)

I can't believe she said you seemed more jolly! How funny. Grandmothers. I love 'em, but sometimes they're not the most tactful people.

Just curious, are the people who commented also overweight? Sometimes that can be a factor.

Either way, you've done great, and you know what it healthy for you.

yes the people who have commented are overweight..including my mother..it's funny because my mother is almost shocked..I don't see her often ( I live 3 hours away from home). It's quite ironic because when I gained all this weight my sister and mother were both smaller and they would make little jokes about my weight gain..which were quite hurtful actually...I take everything to heart..lol...and now I am smaller than both of them...perhaps its just jealousy and ignorance..my mother is like you've lost the weight so why are you now joining the gym?? Um...........you don't lose weight and then give everything up...you have to work to keep it off and I want to feel toned...sometimes they just don't get it!

This reminds me how lucky I am with my mother. When I see her, she *always* compliments me, and then leaves it alone.

Ladies I get it from my mother too, and SHE works as director of operations in an eaing disorder rehabilitation center. I think it's just something we have to listen to and expect from people that care about us. And as long as we are dieting and exercising in a healthy way then we can continue to defend ourselves and explain the hows and whys. Maybe we can help other people that are in the situation we were/are in take action and get healthy. The congrats never get old for me though ;-) lol xoxoxo

Haha, family often isn't the most tactful indeed. When I started losing (I had only lost 2 lbs or so) my mom said: "Well, you look way more beautiful now." I had only lost so little! There wasn't anything visibly changed about my appearance! And basically she was saying that 5 lbs ago I was ugly. I kindly explained this to her but she still doesn't really get it. It may sound odd but my dad is actually *more* tactful.

Also, my mom is convinced that at a BMI of 22 she is still too fat and needs to lose more. She calls it "the Asian body scheme" (not that she has any Asian relatives except for an adoptive child of one of her sisters). Talk about odd perception.

You're doing great with your loss, and it sounds like you're still healthy and balanced.

Heck, I'm jealous. Maybe one day I'll get to a point where people can say that to me. ;)

Yep it seems that mothers never get it..well most...I guess we are their children and they will worry about us no matter what it is!

Thanks everyone for you congrats and your input!

At first I thought it was great...now it's getting annoying. Not really the attention so much as the "Oh my gosh you're too skinny" junk I've been getting recently. Maybe I am...I don't know. But I think I'm just right for my height (5 foot, 8 1/2 inches, 140-145 pounds).

Case in point...the husband and I went to a local bar a week or so ago. I haven't been there in a while, and it's one of those places with "regulars" who recognize you when you come in. There were all these women up front at the bar (drunk of course), who went ON and ON about how GREAT I looked, and asked how I did it. So when I walked away to sit at a table in the corner, I overheard them saying (you know how loud drunk people can be when they think they're quiet)..."She's just TOO skinny" and "I bet she doesn't eat at ALL." You know the comments...just made me want to leave or get in a bar fight..

One thing that bugs the heck out of me, though, is when people ask how I do it, or what I TOOK to do it. I tell them I try to eat better, but that I eat more now than I ever did before, and work out 5 days a week. I can tell most don't believe me at all, and some even roll their eyes. Grrrr....

Ugh. How ridiculous. Especially other people who are overweight, who are jealous of your successes, so their reaction to your weight loss--- acheiving something that they couldn't, or haven't done themselves--- is to make themselves feel better by saying, "Well, she can't have done it healthily," and "She must have an eating disorder."

Ridiculous.

Screw them, and congrats to you!!! :D

yes SCREW them i'd say as well...they are just pure jealous because they probably have weight to lose....it's the same thing with my coworkers...when I was about 170lbs a coworker who was 150 and was always trying these fad diets told me i shouldn't lose anymore blah blah..i put her in her place by saying that "anyone who says that stuff is jealous I am going to finally be skinnier than them" well that shut her up!

Last week another coworker who is about 133lbs (has lost a LOT of weight since highschool and having two children) and EXTREMELY obsessive over her eating..(we've all seriously thought she has an eating disorder) kept insisting I'd buy some Girl Guide cookies her daughter is selling. I repeatedly told her I cannot because if they are around me I'd probably eat them all ( I love them!)..anyways she kept on nagging and said "just bring them home for your family".I told her it was like "giving an alcoholic a bottle of wine and telling them to keep it for when he/she haves company"..right...She of ALL people should understand.......Anyways I finally gave in and bought the damn cookies..and she messaged me online that night asking if I'd "gotten into the cookies"...almost like she tried to set me up! ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! I did open the cookies at work, gave some to the children and ate two of them..then brought them home for my family. I replied..yep I told you I would and I did...I should have lied and said "nope, not at all" or said "happy now?" but I hate confrontations and was polite about it.
Yep this has turned into a major rant lol!

Email her back and ask her how that makes her feel after she pushed you so hard.

And tack onto the bottom that there's a special place in **** for pushy enablers.

hahahahaha...yup perhaps i should..but like I said I hate and always have hated confrontations...she is extremely moody now as it is..it's also very hard because we work in a preschool..only 6-7 of us..so if there's tension EVERYONE knows about it :(

oh and the first coworker i mentioned who kept telling me I had "lost enough" at 170 is now bigger than myself and I am now giving HER my size 12-14 pants :P whoo hooo..looks good on her too :P

I get this from my mom too (although I'm not even 'thin' yet). It's like while I was in high school you would order takeout 2-3 times a week and let us all pig out, would make spaghetti, there was alway ice cream in the freezer. I was 50lbs overweight. Not a SINGLE comment about me being unhealthy.

Now when she sees me eating a stick of celery or something she'll be like are you sure you're eating enough..or give me some crap about being unhealthy.

It's actually not unhealthy to be slightly underweight (even if I was) and it DEFINATELY would be healthier than being 50# overweight and eating crap.

The same with schools, the school nurse will harass the mom of a small boned girl on the track team who has trouble keeping weight on and won't say ANYTHING to the 300 pounder who has a moustache b/c of the way the weight f'ed up her hormones.