rude awakening

  • I've always had loads of self confidence and loved the way I am. I just finished a nicely portioned dinner and asked my boyfriend if he could take some before pictures of me. I dont really have any "official" ones. I've lost about 20 pounds already to.... but I figured I will NEVER be as big as I am today ever EVER again, not tomorrow not next week not ever.

    Then I saw the photos. I took a deep breath and let it all hang out, wanting to get the truest, gnarliest form of myself on film.

    I threw up in my mouth.

    Its disgusting. No wonder I've been asked a thousand times if I'm pregnant! I LOOK pregnant. I never thought I did. I want to vomit for reals in the toilet. I'm so disappointed in myself for EVER allowing my body to get to this point.

    I'm having a rollercoaster ride of a day.
  • On a bright side, you have lost ~30 lbs and it's a very good accomplishment so far. On top of that, you're today now that have control over what you eat, not like before ^^ and you now know and DO what's good for you that you of the past didn't. So personally I think you won't make that mistake again and will ever let yourself look like that ... again ^^
  • I feel your pain- it gives me great displeasure to look at any before pictures, and I mean anything before April, heck, I mean anything prior to the moment when I weigh more. I don't know how I was so careless, so self destructive, so ignorant and so naive- to let myself get that way and to not notice how I literally just ballooned up over a year or so.

    But now I've seen the error of my ways, I'm working hard and doing it the right way and I'm making a change that will last the rest of my life- and I have a very great feeling that you have and will do the same. Better late than never.
  • Man let me tell you... pictures really are the hardest. It's so funny how I can look in the mirror and know that I'm big but not see just HOW big and then I look at pictures and I swear it blows my mind EVERY TIME.

    Whenever I'm feeling down about it though this is what I say to myself: those fat pictures of me now will make it even more impressive later when I'm smokin' hot and thin. I'll be able to look at them and see just how strong I am and how far I've come and know that if I can do that I can do anything.

  • I really hate photos of myself. (Is that how the world views me? OMG!) Why is it we always look so much bigger in a photo? I know the camera adds 10 lbs. (more like 30!) but when I look into a mirror I really don't see myself looking as fat as in that photograph. Maybe i have body dysmorphia in the other direction!!! lol

    On the plus side, I guess that is good so that I don't feel like killing myself every morning after the shower while getting ready for work!

    And I guess taking the pics can be motivating to us, to really begin our lifestyle changes.
  • the wake up call that I needed to act was when I saw the photos for my sons baptism. I wanted to cry because I felt like I looked so bad that every time I would look at photos of what was supposed to be such a milestone for my son all I'll ever remember is how big I looked.
  • I just recently saw some pics of me from december 06 and seriously reacted with "holy sh*t!!" no f'n way i looked like that... it's just a bad pic... yeah then i saw a few more-- Holy h*ll...I don't remember being that disgusting! I look at my pics from april 08 and say d*mn that's gross... and then remember those... april 08 was after i lost about 30 pounds from a gall bladder problem and when i started my diet... so since december 06 pics i've lost 53 pounds... i was 240 and am now 187.2... I can't believe i ever let myself get that way... back surgery really accelerated my weight gain but I'm to blame too... I did NOTHING to stop it... but those pics will be the motivation to NEVER go back that way ever again!
  • I hate pictures. At least any of me now. I love the ones in the past where I looked better. lol. But yeah pictures are a huge wake-up call for sure. WTG on the 30 pds.
  • I just took my before pictures today. I usually wear huge baggy sweatshirts... even now in August, I guess i use them as a disguise... so all the pictures with my friends and family I don't look too bad because I can't see my figure under all the clothes..... Idk looking at the before pictures without any baggy clothes is a huge wake up call to me because I honestly don't feel like I'm shaped the way the camera is showing me @[email protected]
  • yeah... I wore a skin tight top... I wanted to really get the picture. Well. I got it. Boooooo.
  • I completely understand what you mean today i took my before pics and it had me in tears. Just use that as motivation, that is what i am doing. But you are on your way
  • I hate pictures too but at the same time that is what made me want to lose weight! Now I take pics all the time and even though I am not satisfied it motivates me more and more because I am seeing results
  • I use my old 'fat' pics of myself as a way of motivation...I look at them now and say to myself " you are NEVER going to be that disgusting fat girl again" So keep them because in no time you will be able to do just that......I've often been tempted to stick one of my fridge or cupboard door...lol......so that way if i'm tempted to eat something unhealthy I'll see the pic and I'm sure it will stop me dead in my tracks..lol....
  • I've been tempted to stick fat photos on the fridge too. However, I used my magnet poetry to write out "Do you come here often?" right at eye level. out of context, it's a silly thing to put on a fridge. But to anyone who is trying to keep a diet plan, words of wisdom!