[artsnsmarts]

Even the most educated people....

I have a family member who is getting an ATHLETIC TRAINING degree in school who has gained 30 - 40 lbs in the past 4 years and is definitely in obese territory. It's amazing to me that with all the body chemistry and everything they learn that it doesn't occur to her what a disservice she's doing to her body by eating complete CRAP and not exercising, especially when she has access to some of the best gym facilities in the country. I feel like every time I see her she resents me more because it seems like the weight I'm losing, she's finding. But it's not that I watn to be thinner than she is, I just want to be healthy for me.

I just wish there was some way to make her see that all the drinking and terrible food are REALLY making a difference...

[sunflowergirl68]

Originally Posted by KLK

What I've also learned is that weight is SUCH a touchy subject for so so so many people; even people who KNOW they are obese refuse to ackowledge that out loud (a lot of times). I used to be that way; I'd recoil at any mention of my weight or anything having to do with body size. Does this friend ever mention weight to you? Does she say, "Wow, I wish I could lose weight" or does she not say anything about her weight? If the former, I think you can definitely offer her advice and that she's being totally silly if she doesn't accept that advice. But if it's the latter -- she probably not even ready to admit that she has a weight problem and all your good advice is pretty useless to her.

Oh goodness, one of my roommates in the dorms freshman year was really overweight, and one day she came up to me and asked if I thought she was obese. It really ticked me off so I just told her to check her BMI on the internet and she never talked about it again. But she really put me in a tight spot and surprised me.

Anyways, back to my friend... she has talked about losing weight. Or just her frustrations with inability to lose. So when I offered suggestions, she came up with excuses as to why it won't work. Maybe she'll bring it up again and if she does I'll know what to say.

[angelanicole23]

2 of my closest friends are overweight..about 250 I am assuming...one has very little self esteem.....will still eat and eat and 'joke' about her being the fat one in the group...I sometimes offer her suggestions like going for more walks....starting kickboxing with me...( i haven't joined but would love to have a buddy to go with me) and she hasn't initiated it....the 2nd friend just eats and eats..complains about how MUCH she eats...but I also think she's in denial of how large she is...she will squeeze into a L or XL and think that she looks okay...It's so hard to tell her honestly that the clothes is too tight when she feels great...in a way if she does feel good then great for her..but it's almost as if she's in denial of her size and how overweight she really is...I was hoping that them seeing me lose weight would encourage them and give them a little motivation to do something to change their own lifestyles but I know in reality they won't be ready to make a change until THEY feel they are...I also blame the fact that they've always been the 'chunky' or 'chubby' ones so just assume that thats the way they are meant to be...whereas I've been small..gained it and have always felt soo guilty for doing so..I just hope that soon they will see that they need to make a life change or things will not get any better!

[Jonsgurl0531]

I tend to be very blunt about things, and when people ask me my honest opinion I will tell them. I really don't believe in sugar coating. If someone was obese and asked me if I thought they were obese I would tell them. My sister is in total denial about weight gain...
I haven't seen her in over a year but my family tells me about it and how she attempts to SQUEEZE herself into clothes that are way too small for her. I know for a fact she won't ask me how she looks.. because she is my sister and knows how I am LOL. But I might have to tell her that a "diet" consisting of eating whatever she wants, taking hydroxycut and zero exercise is not gonna magically make her lose weight...
I just wish someone told me OMG you are obese! Maybe I would have started losing the 100+ pounds I gained when I was preggo.. ALOT sooner.
Then again... someone gave me this weight loss center flyer the other day and I was sooo MAD.. I was like Sorry I don;t need your stupid center as I lost 60+ pounds on my own and go to the gym on my own thanks.She insisted it wasn't for "me" but I could tell my other fat friends about it.... REALLY..
I guess I don't look so hot im my 14 jeans as I thought I did LOL. Hey it beat the 24s I was wearing before my diet.

[vikkivma]

I have to agree with a number of people here. You just... you really just can't until she comes to you.

If you do wonderfully on your journey and then she turns around and asks for your advice, then perfect! But otherwise... it's not really something you can do.

I know for myself that when I was in denial, I would just shut down when someone would do that. Even though I know that *you* don't mean it this way, you could wind up coming off as yet another person judging her or telling her she's not good enough. And on top of that, if you see her having lost a bunch of weight, then she feels even worse because you're saying you're better than she is. Again, I know this is not your intention at all, but when you're overweight, the denial really does obscure common sense.

[leighish]

ultimately she has to be ready to help herself.