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-   -   I have a problem telling people (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/147689-i-have-problem-telling-people.html)

Robot 07-29-2008 09:47 PM

I have a problem telling people
 
OK, I'm not sure quite why, but I can't stand telling people that I'm trying to lose weight. Perhaps it is because I'm a private person and I don't like to talk a whole lot about myself. My mother knows and so does one friend, but everyone else, I just can't tell. It's hard too, because when I go out with friends or with my sister, we usually end up eating something, which is usually a food I shouldn't be eating (processed foods and other junk). Does anyone else have the same problem? How do you handle it and do you just tell others that you're losing weight?

GradPhase 07-29-2008 09:52 PM

I'm in the same boat. I don't even like talking about it with my boyfriend (who is the most loving, accepting, supportive person I know). I always feel like people are judging me for my insecurities, and I get even more sensitive about it. I'm more embarrassed about the fact that I am TRYING to lose weight than the fact that there's weight to lose. I dunno how to help us - but I just wanted to say that you're definitely not alone.

Robot 07-29-2008 10:25 PM

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'll either have to get over it and just talk to my friends, or see how things will go if I just hold it in.

caligirl98 07-29-2008 10:35 PM

I don't like to tell people because of the reactions. For one, they suddenly feel the need to tell me I've lost weight when I know I haven't. Or they say I look great and I don't need to lose any weight, which I know is bull. Or when we go out to eat, they like to point out what I shouldn't eat. And like, if we go somewhere and I get a twix, they want to say, "I thought you were on a diet." as if one twix will make me gain those 50lbs back.

But I think the biggest reason I don't like to tell people is because I'm scared I'm going to fail. I mean, I've been big all my life, so I've been trying to lose weight for years. I've just in recent years started having success, but I'm still at the point where you can't really tell. So I don't want to tell people that I'm on a diet and then six months from now, I still look the same. It will look like I don't have any control over my eating habits or something.

Essentially for me, being on a diet...or as I like to call it, a life style change, doesn't have to be common knowledge. When I go out to eat, I get what I want. I just make sure I only go out like twice a month, LOL!

lilukay 07-29-2008 10:53 PM

I don't tell people either. I think I've told people of my small goal in passing (10 lbs and then I can get my hair done), but no one really knows how much I intend to lose. I guess it's just too personal for me to want to share with a lot of people.

TJFitnessDiva 07-29-2008 10:57 PM

I'm not shy about it but I don't go out of my way and tell people either. I figure that it's none of their business plus I hate to hear the typical reactions if they do find out. :)

Skullarix 07-29-2008 11:00 PM

I find I don't like to tell people, my closest friends don't even know. My hubby knows, and I report to him things I am proud of. I agree with caligirl98, I don't tell people because I'm scared I'm going to fail. I also feel uncomfortable when questioned on my diet. Also, I work in a call center which means I sit behind a desk and don't move all day. Some of the women at my work that have announced they are on a diet (WW to be specific), have lost... and gained... not maintained... I don't want to be one of them.

There was also a nosy girl at work that would point out anytime my eating habits changed. I swear if I had a salad one day she would announce it to the entire break room. If I cut my portion size she would then say, "I'm worried that you aren't eating enough."

Then you get the diet tips! As if I don't know how to lose weight... I know how, I've lost weight before... maybe tips on maintenance would be better!

tater tash 07-29-2008 11:26 PM

I kind of have the same problem. I don't really tell people that I'm losing weight because they'll just get even more on my case then they already do. For some reason, Reno people I have met do not comprehend ANYTHING having to do with healthy eating and vegetarianism. I recently worked at a restaurant that had NOTHING healthy on their menu, their "healthier options" were still over 750 calories and covered in oil. Anyway, when I would order something for my break it would be the same house salad, no cheese, no croutons, no bacon, low fat dressing on the side. And no matter what I always get looked at like I'm some crazy person! Other girls ordered everything fried from the menu and would give me crap because I literally refuse to eat it.

And somehow people here don't know the definition of vegetarian. "You don't beef? But you can eat chicken right? So&so is a vegetarian but she eats chicken and fish" ummmm that's not being vegetarian sorry. I'm constantly being treated like an outsider by some people because I can survive without eating meet or fried foods. A coworker even asked to taste her food with meat in it and said maybe if I tried it I'll like it again and stop being a vegetarian, because being one doesn't make sense.

AAAAAHHHH people!

So, lets just say when it comes to my lifestyle of eating.. I don't tell anyone I'm a vegetarian unless I have to and that I'm probably the pickiest eater you'll ever meet. blah blah blah, whatever I LOVE being a healthy vegetarian on a diet!

Robot 07-29-2008 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tater tash (Post 2292552)
A coworker even asked to taste her food with meat in it and said maybe if I tried it I'll like it again and stop being a vegetarian, because being one doesn't make sense.

I've been told that too. I also get, "You can eat some meat, we won't tell anyone." It gets really annoying.

vixjean 07-29-2008 11:47 PM

You don't have to tell anyone. You can tell just the ones you know and trust or the ones who are going through the same thing. The more people you tell - you might receive unwanted advise!

fuzzyhare 07-30-2008 12:03 AM

I'm private too and don't like to talk about it because I am afraid of failing. I've tried to shed some pounds here and there in the past but as soon as I let someone know it was like they were checking up on me and giving me crap if I had a treat every now and then and that made me want to just give up. I know I need motivation in this and thats what I'm hoping to get from joining here

UrsusMaritimus 07-30-2008 01:09 AM

I think this is REALLY common. I also haven't told anyone except my boyfriend and a few close friends. I think the stigma attached to being overweight carries over into dieting. It's not "cool" to be on a diet - it signifies that you've "failed" to be naturally thin - and EVERYBODY thinks it's their right to comment on what you're doing (which is rarely helpful, even when it's well-intentioned).

I use the "healthy lifestyle" line to deflect questions about why I'm eating differently.

broadabroad 07-30-2008 01:09 AM

Quote:

A coworker even asked to taste her food with meat in it and said maybe if I tried it I'll like it again and stop being a vegetarian, because being one doesn't make sense.
Christ on a pogostick, how PAINFULLY stupid. What the **** business is it of anyone else what you're eating? There are whole COUNTRIES full of people who choose not to eat meat - and, guess what? They have yummy food, and they do not drop dead of poor nutrition. Ack. Sorry you have to deal with the stupidheads.

As to the original post, though - yeah, I've told my coworkers & friends (although I didn't mention it for a few weeks, actually), but I'm NOT telling my parents. I think that would be too upsetting for me - I don't want to disappoint them if it doesn't work out. And also, I'm looking forward to seeing their faces at Christmas time, when I've lost however much I've lost by that point.

Frankly, you have no NEED to tell other people. It's not their business what you eat, or how you're trying to improve your health. If you're comfortable telling them and they are supportive (not something one can count on, unfortunately) then that can help you with social situations where you're encountering food and drinks. But sometimes people feel threatened and try to sabotage you without even realising that's what they're doing, so it can just make life more difficult!

Don't feel bad about wanting to keep this to yourself, if that's how you feel most comfortable! It's really only your affair, when you get right down to it.

net knee 07-30-2008 01:34 AM

In the beginning of my weight loss journey I just told people that i was trying to eat healthier... i even blamed it on my recent gall bladder removal... but then i decided to tell everyone i knew about weight watchers because i am having great results on it and I'm not starving! I really love weight watchers and I tell people... I'm not dieting I'm changing my eating habits and eating healthier!! Most of my friends and family try to keep my healthier eating habits in mind when picking a restaurant when we go out... sometimes it doesn't work but i usually can find something i can eat w/out tons of points. People will eventually start to notice and you can respond with "I'm eating healthier and moving more" or whatever you'd like.

mamaspank 07-30-2008 01:40 AM

Until I actually started seeing some drastic changes on the scale and in my clothes, I kept kind of private. I tell everyone now. I showed up for a softball game tonight after a month long break for season and I had so many compliments. I felt wonderful. I tell them that I have been working my tail off and that what they said makes it all worth it. I think it is perfectly natural to be scared to tell people; you never know if it is going to stick and if they are going to be judgmental about what you put in your mouth. Good [email protected]


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