you guys are right. He can be pretty obnoxious. Most wonder how or why I put up with it. I grew up in a not nice home with adopted parents who were similar. I was always told I was ugly, not good enough and I was made fun of. I'm used to it and I try to drown it out. For the most part I'm good at it.

Not to make excuses, but my boyfriend has a condition pretty close to bipolar. He has a nasty violent side and I have to keep my mouth closed most of the time because I know I need to pick and choose battles with him.

It's a mess and man does it make weight loss harder than it has to be and harder than it is already. I am strong though, I have been through a lot and I just keep going.

Oh my goodness girl get yourself into therapy!! Please please please!!
I'm sorry to be presumptuous, but what you're describing sounds like a textbook pattern of an abused person. Just because you're used to it doesn't mean you deserve it! You must have such deeply ingrained patterns...they are hard to get away from. So you end up re-creating the relationships that you already understand, which in your case seem to be emotionally abusive relationships.

Now I need to get back to my paper that I need to write for my master's degree in psychology (gee, could you guess?). You seriously sound like you are in a dangerous situation and I can only hope that you will seek the help you need.

PM me if you want, anytime.

S

Guess what? My dad had HORRIBLE bipolar disorder (hence why I have no contact with him anymore) and we have a streak of it running through all my siblings. I can just feel it ROARING up sometimes... but that doesn't mean I don't hold my tongue for fear of destroying my hubby by saying something awful.

Illness or not... he's just a jerk.

Originally Posted by BrandNewJen:
but that doesn't mean I don't hold my tongue for fear of destroying my hubby by saying something awful.

Illness or not... he's just a jerk.

I hear ya jen, but I hold my tongue because he is so much bigger than me and I'm worried he will have an issue keeping his hands to himself if I rub him the wrong way. It's easier for me just to give him the silent treatment

Originally Posted by Pinkadot:
You girls are not alone!!! I know what you mean by not being able to talk about it.. I am so open about everything else!

I have too much hair too, not only that but I get really really really bad ingrown hairs everywhere. I cant shave my bikini line because I get PERMANENT ingrown hairs.. I have had some for years and they never go away.. so I have lots of scars from them. So I cant wear a one piece, and god knows I cant wear a bikini.. so im stuck with tankinis with boyshorts only. >_< I also have some on my stomach.. its black.. and it sucks. That and the stretch marks makes me think I will never wear a bikini for the rest of my life.

Luckily it isnt too bad on my face.. the ones on my chin are blonde somehow. I need to do my upper lip 2 times a month >_> I use depilatory for that which works pretty good.. im just glad I dont get the ingrown hairs there. what also sucks is I get bumps no matter what whenever I shave my legs, and you can still see the hair follicles even if its a wicked close shave.. because its so coarse and black. So they never look very good :( Also get giant ingrown hairs on my armpits, and my skin there is discolored and scarred.. so i never wear sleeveless things. :(

Try TendSkin you can get it at Beauty Brands. I havent seen an ingrown hair that this stuff cant combat. Its a miracle potion seriously.

I have ridiculous hair all over my neck and chin and bottom of my face. my lip too. BUT i HAVE NO EYEBROWS OR LASHES GRRRRRRRRR!

I too shave my toes or my pedicurist (is that a word) she plucks them for me.

I had a growth spurt in middle school where i went from 105 to 135 pounds at 5'6" and i have had ridiculous stretch marks since i was 12. it was so embarassing when i went to a pool party in high school and i was talked about for having stretch marks. i wasnt even big but the other girls didnt have them. my butt looks like a tiger as do my thighs and hips. ah well. :D

-Gnarly ingrown hairs on my behind (think saddlebags, folks) from bicycling that usually end up as never-healing boils that leave purple scars. Mmm goodness.

-Stretchmarks since I was 6 years old on my thighs, then I got them in high school on my stomach and arms (arms?! How the **** do you cover those babies up?), so I pretty much can never go swimming or to a beach.

-Acne scars on my back and chest that pretty much thwart any attempt at wearing something lowcut. Add that to the stretchmark arms, and it's turtleneck season year around! Weee!

-Massive 16" calves - I can never wear shorts, ever.

-Gallbladder removal scars that look like worms crawling on my stomach

-Gross blackheads on my nose that will not go away with ProActiv or anything else for that matter

-I too have hairy Hobbit feet (that are huge for a 5'7 person, as well) that I have to shave every other day.

-My feet swell so bad I can't wear anything but tennis shoes or I get these unsightly ridges and it looks like my shoes are going to pop. Attractive.

Well well well I certainly thought I was alone in this world


I have the hairy legs, arms, neck, face, butt, toes, any and everything else. I have stretch marks and I hate them with a passion. It is such an akward feeling to have to shave your fingers and toes every other day. No one understands, especially men. I tell them I have pcos and they act as if I am going to grow a penis! lol.

I am sweaty too..........grrrrrrr

hey ladies,

i was just wondering what ya'll do for unwanted facial hair. mine is turning really dark and i'm ganna have to do something about it. any suggestions?

I have PCOS too. My extra hair is mostly facial hair. I've got the dark patches under my arms and on my inner thighs. And I sweat. I sweat like I've been running a marathon in 100-plus degree heat just walking down the hall at work.

And let's add to the embarrassment -- I take Metformin for my PCOS, and I also don't have a gallbladder. So occasionally, I have unexpected, uncontrollable diarrhea. Although that part has been much better since I started WW and am eating better foods.

i had my laser treatments today. ugh, i had my lower back done and since it's sensitive territory it hurt like no other. it was a cross between really ticklish and really painful. so pretty much all the worst parts of the bible.

Ugh, hope you're feeling better soon :hug:

Originally Posted by bjeweled:
Try TendSkin you can get it at Beauty Brands. I havent seen an ingrown hair that this stuff cant combat. Its a miracle potion seriously.

I've actually tried it :o it didn't help me!

Originally Posted by brat_61886:
hey ladies,

i was just wondering what ya'll do for unwanted facial hair. mine is turning really dark and i'm ganna have to do something about it. any suggestions?

I've used a depilatory for my upper lip for about 6 yrs, it works like a charm! No ingrown hairs (and I get them really bad everywhere else), or irritation. I use Sally Hansen ~ you can get it at walmart. Make sure you put on a super thick layer of it and don't rub it in at all!
http://www.sallyhansen.com/product.cfm?product=128
for everything else, like eyebrows or a stray hair here or there i just pluck with tweezers

littlemoonrabbit-- I suffer from hyperhidrosis too!! I HATE IT!! I can be outside in 30 degree weather and still be sweating like crazy!! It is very embarassing and hard to deal with. I've tried just about everything to try to treat this or at least help it, clinical strength deodorant, suredri deodorant, drysol- prescription deodorant... I always wear two shirts to help soak up the sweat so it doesn't soak through to the other (on good days). SOooo I feel for all of us who suffer from unusal body stuff...:hug:

I have PCOS, so I have some body hair. I hate it so much!! I hide it from my dh :( I feel that if he knew, then he'd think I was a freak or something.

I don't really have a hair problem but I do suffer from psoriasis. It covers my scalp and is easily seen. I can't wear dark clothing because of the skin shavings that fall like snow. Not only is my scalp covered but it has moved to eyebrows. It is horrible. It itches and burns and people look at me like have some sort of contagious disease. Large spots of it are on my legs and back and cleavage. I can't wear low cut shirts or shorts. So, I can totally sympathize with the hair problem. But think on the bright side, you are least able to shave off what you feel is unsightly. If I tried to shave around my psoriasis, I'd be bleeding like a stuck pig.

Originally Posted by net knee:
littlemoonrabbit-- I suffer from hyperhidrosis too!! I HATE IT!! I can be outside in 30 degree weather and still be sweating like crazy!! It is very embarassing and hard to deal with. I've tried just about everything to try to treat this or at least help it, clinical strength deodorant, suredri deodorant, drysol- prescription deodorant... I always wear two shirts to help soak up the sweat so it doesn't soak through to the other (on good days). SOooo I feel for all of us who suffer from unusal body stuff...:hug:

I used to work for Aetna Specialty Pharmacy and one of the products we dispensed was BOTOX (it's not just for cosmetic purposes). It's used to treat hyperhydrosis. Ask your doctor about it and see if it's right for you. I think that the injections work for about 3-6 months depending on dosage.

Originally Posted by twentysixpoint2:
-Gallbladder removal scars that look like worms crawling on my stomach

This made me smile... I couldn't really explain what my scars from my gall bladder removal looked like but you nailed it! Mine are more like two little worm holes and a inch worm workin it's way back over to one of it's homes. The 4th incision is in my bellybutton so not as noticeable. I just got mine out in January so my scars are very very red and still dimple in like a little pothole in my tubby belly! Doc says they will let up or un-dimple sooner or later.

As for the Botox injections for hyperhidrosis, omg, my eyes welled up just thinking about getting a shot in my armpits!! I hate needles but i think i'd be up to trying it at least once if i had a xanax on board before hand!:dizzy: If not they'd poke me once and i'd either pass out, smack someone, or say screw this and nevermind the rest!! I've also tried a perfume deodorant. I can not for the life of me remember the name of the brand-- when i do i'll post it. It was kind of expensive but actually worked pretty well. It was a bit waxy but worked better than regular deodorant... only thing i didn't like was it was a solid so when i was half way through the day it's all chunked up and balled up and occasionally fell out of my shirt onto the table or whatever happened to be there to catch it-- always embarassing me!! But i found that if i didnt use that much, like cake it on, it stopped that!!:)

I also have PCOS symptoms (but 3 doctors have told me I'm really just fat and hairy, with naturally irregular periods!) I get thick, nasty, dark hair right under my chin/on my neck. It is so thick that depilitory creams don't work on it, and if I don't shave every other day, it looks like I'm growing a beard. I was able to use the creams on my back, but since I started hormonal birth control, the hair is much less noticeable there (or so I tell myself - when I do wear a bathing suit, it's always a racer back to distract from any potential hairs)

I also am shiny with stretch marks, but I always have this hope that they'll just become one big stretch mark, so I'll just be slightly shiny on my entire body. I really don't mind them as much - I've had them for as long as I can remember. My gallbladder scars, on the other hand - I'd gained about 100lbs after my gallbladder removal, so they're really nasty looking. Yay for being able to get off the 6g of fat/meal diet?

I really don't dwell too much on the negatives, though, and I'm happy that my body's sturdy and healthy.

Originally Posted by MCheyenne6:
Not to make excuses, but my boyfriend has a condition pretty close to bipolar. He has a nasty violent side and I have to keep my mouth closed most of the time because I know I need to pick and choose battles with him.

My fiance is bipolar, and he's not even that bad. Have you talked to him about going to a dr to see if they can try some medication? It does make all the difference in the world.

And I can so relate on the stretch marks! I've got them all over my tummy, hips and on my back. I actually have a tattoo over some of the ones on my back, and that hurt like ****, and the ink doesn't take well over them >.<.

And, for thinning hair-Vitamin B supplement. Mine falls out on occasion (not a ton, but enough to be a pain) due to stress, and the extra B vitamins do the trick every time.

I'm a hairy *******...I never thought about PCOS but now I might have to ask the doctor. I just thought it was because my dad was a gorilla. A silverback actually. Like gorillas, we also fling poo when agitated. That's pretty embarrassing during posh occasions.

Worse(?) though is I have super duper repulsive room clearing farts. They're usually silent which doesn't help when it's just me and one other person in the area, but I also giggle, especially when in a group and someone makes a face or comment. I can't help it; farts are funny. My family is gassy (ook ook) but since I started eating more vegetables and fruit, oh man. Also it gets really bad when I eat greasy/fast food. And non greasy food...and regular food...and when I don't eat at all...

Tamaroot -- you are a funny lady!!

I have smelly farts, too. My fiance just looks in my direction but I usually blame the cat.

man, i swear to everything holy that my cat's farts are WAY smellier than mine! no lie! kitty's got the stankiest poots I've ever experienced!

Seriously! Sometimes he won't believe me if I haven't farted and it WAS the cat. It's kinda funny...she farts more when we give her cat nip...no idea why.

i think mine gets into the dog food and it makes her smell RIPE. her name is piper, which lead us to say, "oh, snap, PIPE BOMB! nasty!"

it is really nice being with someone so long that the farts don't matter, though, isn't it??

LOL You ladies are too funny!! I'm going to wake everyone in the house I am laughing so loud.

My siamese cat is quite the pooter too... smells like rotten carrots :p

I have PCOS also, and have HORRIBLE acne and what I've found to help is Mary Kay formula 3 or something and it has taken me from having horrible and almost never want to go out in public to one zit once in a while.. seriously MIRACLE for me.

I have horrible stretch marks from when my PCOS 'acted' up after I was done with gymnastics and they have faded to silver stuff, but my marks took the ink awesome. Seriously butt hair.. not going to lie is the WORST thing right now..

Mcheyenne if you can't say anything because you are scared for him to get violent with you then that is NOT a stable and healthy relationship. Just my two cents.

Originally Posted by Arian:
My fiance is bipolar, and he's not even that bad. Have you talked to him about going to a dr to see if they can try some medication? It does make all the difference in the world.

He is on both paxil and zyprexa. He is 6'3'' 220 and he thinks he is fat. Over the weekend I discovered he hasn't been taking his zyprexa for days now because he thinks it makes him gain weight. I told him eating cheetos at 9:30 at night makes you gain weight, the pills keep you healthy. I know they probably make better pills to regulate his pills, but his parents are afraid he won't function if he is "like a zombie" as they say

Originally Posted by shrinkinglizzy:
Tamaroot -- you are a funny lady!!

Why thank you Lizzy! However looks aren't everything...:D

My dog's farts are pretty distinct from human farts so I can't blame him. However it's really bad when I'm at the gym. My sister will lean over and smack me and I'll start laughing and nearly fall off the ellipitcal and of course everyone will know it was me...

And now ladies and other, a brief moment of seriousness. Forgive me.

Cheyenne if you ever fear what your boyfriend's reaction would be if you "rubbed him the wrong way" (geez I do that on purpose to people to see how they react. Why yes I am single why do you ask?) then seriously take a look at your relationship. Bipolar or not, if you're afraid he'd react violently to you, get out.

Try and see it as you talking to a friend who confides these things in you, what would you advise?

Originally Posted by Taylor86:
I have smelly farts, too. My fiance just looks in my direction but I usually blame the cat.

I was cracking up when I read this. It reminded me of my best friend when we were younger. She would fart and blame a "ghost" in the room! :lol3:

Originally Posted by shrinkinglizzy:
kitty's got the stankiest poots I've ever experienced!

:rofl: I almost died laughing when I read this!! :rofl: poots... cute word for it!
My kitty, Satan, has the cutest sneeze ever! BUT Every time he sneezes it's a guarantee that he farts too! The smell that comes from his hind end is unbearable! He can clear a room and the room next to it and if he sneezes more than once in a row we just give up and leave the room! Of course my BF loves to blame it on me, especially when we have company-- he likes to try to embarrass me :o , all good fun... but we all know who's to blame!!:dizzy:

One thing I find embarassing is guys asking me about my past relationships and all....I don't really have any. I was talking with someone the other night and it came up. I told him I couldn't talk about it and kinda left it like that. I'm so worried that once a guy knows my lack of experience they will say see ya, and I'll be left broken hearted, once again.

I've got eczema on my hands so they are usually all red and swollen. Sometimes they crack and bleed. I've had people ask if I've been burned.

Originally Posted by twentysixpoint2:
-Gnarly ingrown hairs on my behind (think saddlebags, folks) from bicycling that usually end up as never-healing boils that leave purple scars. Mmm goodness.

-Stretchmarks since I was 6 years old on my thighs, then I got them in high school on my stomach and arms (arms?! How the **** do you cover those babies up?), so I pretty much can never go swimming or to a beach.

-Acne scars on my back and chest that pretty much thwart any attempt at wearing something lowcut. Add that to the stretchmark arms, and it's turtleneck season year around! Weee!

-Massive 16" calves - I can never wear shorts, ever.

-Gallbladder removal scars that look like worms crawling on my stomach

-Gross blackheads on my nose that will not go away with ProActiv or anything else for that matter

-I too have hairy Hobbit feet (that are huge for a 5'7 person, as well) that I have to shave every other day.

-My feet swell so bad I can't wear anything but tennis shoes or I get these unsightly ridges and it looks like my shoes are going to pop. Attractive.

Those sound just like me!

I have the worst strechmarks on my hips and arms. I remember one time I was babysitting this little boy and he pointed to my arm and said it looked like a zebra. :o

I have a pretty big scar right in the middle of my back from when I developed the "shingles" in 7th grade (it's pretty much like having a 2nd bout of the chicken pox) and I have acne on my chest, so I rarely wear anything but crew and turtlenecks, and you can forget about me wearing anything that showcases my back. I dunno how I'll ever feel comfortable in a swimsuit.

I have big feet for my height. I wear a 9, which doesnt sound bad, but I'm 5'2" plus my feet are wide so I look like a cross btwn Fred Flintstone and a clown :lol:

I have REALLY hairy knuckles. My friends and family always call me Wolverine or chimp lol.

I have huge calves. They've always been big since I was a little kid from playing sports (baseball, karate, and flag football) but they've gotten even bigger since I've gained weight. I dunno if I'll be able to wear calf length boots even after my weight loss. :(

I have a hairy butt and back, lol... they're short and fuzzy hairs, but still hairy nonetheless.

And alst but not least, I don't have blackheads anywhere else but my nose! I can wash my face a million times a day and I'll still develop blackheads on my nose. The only time they left is when I got a facial at a salon, and even after that they came back less than a wk later.

Originally Posted by ohmanda:
I've got eczema on my hands so they are usually all red and swollen. Sometimes they crack and bleed. I've had people ask if I've been burned.

Hey, me too! It usually gets better in the spring, but since it's been kinda cold and dry here, my eczema is still going strong. I had it on my face last year, but thank goodness that hasn't returned. People have asked me if I'm breaking out in hives on my hands though.

Well, I get darker hairs on the underside of my chin that can often be pretty prominent...I kind of almost grow "sideburns"--both of these I shave off very carefully. My arms and hands can be fairly hairy, so I shave my arms, too.
My legs are terribly terribly white and have little bumps on them (slightly pinkish) so they look terrible, and I always feel self-conscious about wearing anything other than jeans. I also sweat a lot...which also makes me very self-conscious. Especially when there are little damp patches on my clothing under my arms. Then it's like I don't even want to lift my arms above a certain height! :/

I am quite gassy as well... some days, it feels like they never stop and it's really embarrassing when I'm at work or even at home sometimes... I even got some Beano but I keep forgetting to take it before my meals. I can laugh about it but sometimes I'm like, "seriously?" way way gassier than anyone i know... or maybe people just dont' talk about it... I don't know but I'm tired of running to the bathroom at work. :(

Also, this isn't "embarrassing" like that but I have bad asthma where I have lots of trouble breathing. Sometimes I'm fine, but other times, I can be sitting at my desk, gasping for air. And it sucks because I'm a runner and I can't go 2 minutes without feeling like I'm dying of suffocation. Back in the day I could go for miles, nowadays, it's a struggle to even jog a little. It's kind of embarrassing because I run everyday and have been for a while, and I'm still the gasping, wheezing, "out of shape" runner who can't pace herself... I HATE asthma. Medication makes me feel like I've had 20 cups of coffee and shaky... and sometimes, it's just scary when I can't breathe. I'm going to the doctor to see if there's anything else he can do for me on Tuesday... wish me luck...