All righty, friends, I must say, this will be pretty much a rant... just a warning....
AUGH. I hate hate hate HATE stress SO much. I am FREAAAKING out about school right now. It's the week before Spring Break so all of my teachers are throwing in last-minute tests and quizzes to get the midterm grades, so I have to study for like five million things at once. Ok not really five million but I'm taking 15 hours and for some reason it's tougher than when I was taking 18 hours. Ah!!
Not to mention, Daylight Savings reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally does NOT help in the least. I didn't wake up in time for my workout on Monday, I was in a terrible rush to even get to school to find parking!! It was horrible! So I started off my week in a mad frenzy grabbing a small thing of yogurt for breakfast. Ughhh.
Yesterday was also my 2-year anniversary with my boyfriend, and he took me to Red Lobster. I am soooo disappointed in myself. I mean, I went over my calories just a bit, but I am just so disgusted that I actually allowed myself to go overboard. I should know better!! Aughhh. So I felt so gross that I not only went over my calories, but I didn't even do any exercise!!
And nowww today. Again, I had no time for breakfast, but I didn't even have time to GRAB anything (my Tuesday & Thursday classes start an hour and a half earlier than MWF), and my boyfriend says he's staying home to study for another class (we carpool). Fine whatever. So I do my thing at school blah blah, I want to DIE because I'm hungry and there is absolutely nothing good to eat at school (health AND taste-wise! It is a barren wasteland for healthy eaters!!), and FINALLY I get home and there is absolutely nothing to eat. Anything that I could possibly cook is wayyy too high in sodium, and I'm not sure I would trust my own concoctions. As I've said in another post: I am a hazard in the kitchen with anything that is more complicated than a spoon. So I had a piece of toast with a little bit of cream cheese on it.
I call my boyfriend and he says he wants to quit his job. Fine by me, he should do whatever he wants especially if he hates it. Well, he gets into a big fight with his mom over it (because for some reason she dictates whether or not she stays in his job?? whatever.), and so when he's upset, guess who he takes it out on?? You guessed it. Me. So he's being all angry and being a butt and stuff, and finally I'm just like "You know what, I'll just talk to you later and let you cool down." AND HE JUST HANGS UP! Arghhhh. That is just one of my pet peeves and I think it's absolutely rude to just hang up on someone!!! So I'm all stressed and mad and sad and I just want to run around in circles and punch things and ahghdgahghhh.
I am going to go do yoga, hopefully I don't cry and freak out (crying is pretty much how I react to any strong emotion... yeah I'm a crybaby...) and try to eat healthy for the rest of the day. Dear GOD I hope I can do this.
Aghhhh. And it's only Tuesday. :'(
And I totally know it would be way worse in my logical brain, but my emotional brain is being like WAHHHHHHHHHH and that takes over so please pardon me.... augh.
It's perfectly okay to vent this all out! I hope you've had more to eat today than just some toast and cream cheese! Even if it's not as healthy as you would like, not eating can be even worse. I'm sorry your bf is being a butt. Would you like me to go beat him up?
It's okay to cry! I think it's a very helpful stress reliever. It soothes us, it's not eating, it helps release emotion, it's not eating, we feel better afterwards, did I mention it's not eating?
You CAN do this! Relax, do your yoga, come back and chat with us all on 3FC later about how much better you feel after taking some time for yourself.
It is ok to get frustrated from time to time... hang in there!!
Might I suggest that you plan your meals better... For example, instead of saying you don't have time for breakfast, why not buy a box of granola bars to eat on the drive to school OR get some fruit in and eat that on the drive. Also, being a hazard in the Kitchen is ok... lean cuisine dinners are easy to nuke and taste great!!! There are better and easier choices then going hungry.
I'd also like to point out that weight loss success is NOT about NEVER going off plan. Going back on is the key. I celebrated all kinds of things, and often went off plan doing so...certainly an anniversary dinner would call for a bit more leeway. But then I went right back on plan afterward...and while it may have slowed my progress a tiny amount, it wasn't noticeable. You need to be able to live this way for LIFE...and if you can't ever celebrate with a special meal, that'll be awfully hard to do.
As for him taking out being upset on you, I'd honestly put a stop to it firmly, but that's just me. It isn't fair. If you can't say to him directly "I know you're upset, but yelling at me isn't going to solve anything", then hit a pillow, go for a run, take some deep breaths, and try to calm yourself. I'd still talk to him about it later, though. It isn't your fault his mom irritated him, and no matter how close you two are, it isn't OK to act like it is, IMO
If I were you, I'd kill several birds with one stone...take a brisk walk or jog to the grocery store, get myself a nice cup of tea at a coffee shop and something healthy to eat at the store, sit down, and have some alone time. Toast and cream cheese does not a meal make!
Really, I am so glad you got it all out. Take a deep breath. You will survive and be stronger after its over. I know how it is being in a hurry. I am student teaching right now and most days, since I work 30 hours a week as well, I dont have time for anything. I eat granola for breakfast, which is fast and gets me going. Dont skip it, it will make you so much more hungry when lunch comes, and it picks up your metabolism.
And hey, if a girl on this site hasnt had some kinda argument with a significant other, I need to meet them because its a miracle. It will blow over so no worries.
I actually am having a similar problem with hunger today, since somebody stole my lunch out of my chair!!! Probably a student, but how could I ever know which one? Lucky I keep granola in my desk. Ill eat something better for dinner!
Stop being so hard on yourself! If you have one bad day with food or exercise take the advice of all these other weightloss gurus and plan better. Beating yourself up like you are doing causes you to spiral out of control. You feel guilty for not following your plan and then you cheat because you feel guilty and then you feel guilty because you cheated. Remember its not supposed to be a diet so you are not cheating. Its adapting what works for you to fit your life.
Spring Break will be here soon. Take a deep breath and dive back into the chaos.
Thanks to college... the site of vending machines actually makes me want to gag. I feel your pain on there being nothing to eat! Stock up on protein bars, single serving peanuts, baggies of grapes, etc.! You need to be armed with ammunition against the heinous college food! Lol!
And don't beat yourself up about Red Lobster... A two year relationship is a fantastic thing to celebrate (even if he is being a butt!). Who cares what you ate! You can get right back on track! It's hard, in a relationship, when both people are going through stressful times. It's hard to support the other when you are going through so much yourself. I am sure he will come around and realize he is a butt... And maybe then you can support each other in your times of stress.
I can completely understand where you are coming from! Boys are good about displacing their emotions. My bf does that all the time! I think the best you can do is to let him cool off. And once he is better explain to him that you were hurt by him hanging up the phone on you when you were trying to help.
Don't worry about crying like that, when I am super angry I cry, when I am upset I cry. And you know what it feels good to do it. So if you need to cry go right ahead.
I also 100% understand about the evilness about teachers, I am in that hole right now except they are getting joy out of testing me after spring break....I can say that I will study over spring break but who am I kidding. I think the best thing you can do is just take a breather and get your stuff done. When your bf is ready to talk he will.
Don't worry about the calories, if you had a good night with him thats all I would think about. Honestly what helps me is to go to the gym and do an exercise that will let me get it all out. Like running or the punching bag. Or even doing a tae bo video. That will help you get your anger out
Don't be so hard on yourself. You're bf is being a butt , but when he cools down I bet he's gonna apologize. as for schools not carrying healthy options, I totally understand. I detest the vending machines, too, there's never anything healthy. Just try planning better. Make yourself a lunch and take it with you. I know it's hard though. Sometimes I forget to take something and I either have to starve until I am back in my apt or eat a small portion of some high caloric food. Like today, I didn't have time for breakfast, and I had to give a tour of my campus, and some presentations. Then I had class at 12:30 and now im starving and am trying to find something to eat at the apt. It happens to all of us! also, my school is in quarter system. I basically have finals nxt week, and an 8 page paper due tomorrow. Oh yeah. I better start on that
Hey hun. I am a student too. It sucks. I am actually on spring break right now, but I spend every day doing homework because the teachers figured we'd have some free time... so why not?? Don't beat yourself up so much about eating off plan for your anniversary. It was special... you are supposed to enjoy those things. As for catching breakfast... I hear you there too. I actually commute from Albany NY to Westfield MA to get to school (yuck). I have slimfast shakes sitting in the fridge (cappichino flavor= yum) just in case I can't catch breakfast... I can drink one in the car. Hang in there... and make sure you tell your BF how you feel. If he knows, he may try to be more conscious about his actions next time.
Y'all are the best. Thank you all sooo much for your support.
I did my yoga and scrounged around until I found some cereal that was NOT Froot Loops (haha) and munched on that for a bit. I also did some studying (ugh) but now I am taking a break so I can reply to y'all's wonderful comments!
Thank all of you for your suggestions, I am definitely writing them down in my planner (I am addicted to my planner--it goes with me everywhere haha). I usually take food to munch on MWF because I am usually at school from 8:30(ish)-2 pm. It's just Tuesdays and Thursdays where I don't because I'm out by Noon:15.
Also, I am one of those people that starts thinking about one stressful thing... and then another stressful thing... and another... and another and another until I explode (or implode). As if y'all couldn't tell. :P But I am less stressed now that I have gotten SOME stuff out of the way. I just need to pass my exams... lol.
I am going to look into the wonderful things you all have suggested and fit them into my schedule so I can go get them in the next couple of days.
Again thank you all sooo much!!
And Random Fact: My left wisdom tooth is coming in (I only have two, and they're both on the top), and it's really weird being aware of it. I feel like I'm 7 again. Ahhh! Weirdness. Haha, that's neither here nor there but I thought it might be at least mildly amusing.
Arrghhh I wanna cry
good that you vented
I feel your pain on there being nothing to eat! Stock up on protein bars, single serving peanuts, baggies of grapes, etc.! You need to be armed with ammunition against the heinous college food! Lol!
Don't beat yourself up so much about eating off plan for your anniversary. It was special... you are supposed to enjoy those things. As for catching breakfast... I hear you there too. I actually commute from Albany NY to Westfield MA to get to school (yuck). I have slimfast shakes sitting in the fridge (cappichino flavor= yum) just in case I can't catch breakfast... I can drink one in the car. Hang in there... and make sure you tell your BF how you feel. If he knows, he may try to be more conscious about his actions next time.
