I'm 5'9". When I was 180 pounds, I was engaged to a guy I met when I was only 155 pounds. I started to really realize there was a problem when he could stand behind me in the mirror and completely "disappear"...and then I remembered at 169 pounds he considered me a whale....at 175 pounds, I was "chunky monkey"...and then there I was at 180 with an "invisible" fiance standing behind me. He and I have since broken up and are still friends. But sometimes, on my bad days, I think back to that and feel bad that a guy could ever say those things to me and feel it's okay. We can't all be supermodels and we can't all be "thin" but I sure as **** can be healthy and that's why I'm losing weight. I want my confidence back, I want a healthier lifestyle and maybe, just a little bit, I want him to see me at 150 pounds and realize I was the same person big as I am "small"...but I guess in the end you can't make another person see anything, huh? So, doing it for yourself is probably the best motivation.....sorry for rambling.

You're not really rambling there, Florida, you make perfect sense.

Thanks, Faerie!

Sometimes I think I go a little off-topic. Ha-ha. Sometimes it's in my head. :dizzy:

Originally Posted by :
OMG, I so wasn't paying attention to your 70kg goal..and thought it said 70lbs.

I freaked out slightly...then I realized you're from Austrailia. haha..I'm an idiot.

Hahahah! Everyone does it!

well i think sometimes when people lose weight and get more self confidence they realize they are not with the person they are with for the right reasons... it becomes less of "because he'll have me" and more like "what do i want." on the other hand some partners can get insecure - like why is she losing all this weight when she knows i love her? does she want other guys to think shes hot? etc. As for your friend who felt more insecure - maybe she felt invisible before and is not used to being noticed?

thus i think some relationships that arent strong to begin with may crack under the pressure when one partner loses weight.

BUT just because this happens sometimes dont let this get YOU down on YOUR weightloss journey. weightloss and relationships can stay together!

good luck!

I'm doing it for a lot of reasons, and one of them happen to be because of my boyfriend. We've been together for 7 years and love each other very much. But I know before that all his gf's were normal weight (not even skinny. Just normal, healthy weight) and often in the past I've felt insecure. I've felt that despite all the sexual attention, he's still holding back. That would leave me more insecure and I'd often start fights with him because of my jealousy and insecurity due to how I look.

I know not everyone who is overweight is insecure. I learned that here. There are so many women here who are significantly overweight but so confident. I want that confidence back in me. So does he. So in a way I'm doing it to better our relationship.

The only other reason is that I truly want to be healthy. My dad's had a stroke, diabetes and my mom a heart attack and diabetes. I don't want the same to happen to me.

He gets in the way
 

I've found that my boyfriend gets in the way sometimes. He often gives me grief when I want to go to bed early so I can get up early and workout because he wants to go do something. If I happen to eat something evil, he's always the first when to remark, which just makes me more depressed and wanting to eat more. Then there are times when he's my #1 cheerleader. I wonder sometimes if I would be able to lose more weight without him, but I know I love him and would be unhappy. How do I get him to realize that while I love the support, the negative stuff really sets me back pretty far?:bomb: