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Old 02-07-2008, 01:20 PM   #1  
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Angry So frustrated with my hubby...

So, here I am trying to lose weight to better my life and all my husband is giving me is a hard time. I have 2 small children and I live with my parents pretty much in the middle of nowhere so there isn't any sidewalks in the whole town so it's hard to take the kids for a walk. I asked my husband if I could buy an elliptical machine ($75 at walmart) and he said there's no room for it (my 'rents house is HUGE!) and he said we don't have enough money. However he buys a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of soda everyday...which averages $210 a month!!! Tell me how this is fair. I'd just go out and buy it, but I don't want to hear him gripe about about "wasting money". AAAARRRRGGGGGGG Why can't he be more supportive??? Thanks for letting me vent.
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:27 PM   #2  
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If I was in a situation like that, I'd bring up the topic of having a "fun money" fund for each of you...some amount of money that you each have a month to spend on whatever you like. I know that most smokers would react badly to having their cigarettes come out of that fund, but certainly you could set aside $50 a month each and let the sodas come out of that. Drinks with your friends, magazines and books, etc...all come out of the fun money fund. The amount you set aside depends, obviously, on your income and what you have to spare.

Just lay down the rules that if it is purchased with your fun money, the other person doesn't get to complain about what a "waste" it is...that money is yours, and yours alone, to decide what to do with, period.

If you have the budget to set it aside like that, it can really prevent arguments about this sort of thing...you can just save your fun money until you have enough to buy whatever you want to buy.
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:47 PM   #3  
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So -- a YMCA membership for me and my two kids was about $69/mo -- this provided a child care service -- what would be cheaper - what you want or a gym membership? Sell him on how you are saving him money!! Also, I would recommend not buying the cheapest one you can find, try to find a better one maybe?

It's not all about the money -- a happy, healthy mommy is a better mommy!!

However, my husband is kind of the same, but partially because he worries about finances, since I only work part-time so I can stay home with the kids.

Space wise, if your parents don't mind it coming in the house, no argument there.

Since he has his weekly "treats", can you put away a bit each week, a little less painful to the budget. I know I have on occasion kept track of every penny I spent in a week and found a lot of waste that could be put away.

Good luck!! I know you can do it -- it took a little effort, but I got my treadmill the same way!!!
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:47 PM   #4  
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Men just don't get it sometimes, do they?
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:52 PM   #5  
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Did you tell him the cigarette and soda thing??? Sounds like he can waste money! I say have a serious talk with him, and bring up his bad spending habits. Men.
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:54 PM   #6  
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I think that is a really good idea about putting money aside. Many people do not have any wiggle room in their budget to have a happy fund or put large chunks of money away. You will be surprised if you look at what you spend at the food store for example. You might be able to find a dollar here and a dollar there and save for what you want. How about walking DVDs you can do in the house. They are pretty cheap and the kids can do them with you do not matter their age as long as they can walk. Kids get a kick out of doing them I have found.
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Old 02-07-2008, 02:44 PM   #7  
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Have you tried looking on craigslist, or a local paper for one that may be even better and even cheaper? (sometimes free!) Just a suggestion! ...Hopefully, he'll come around on the topic.
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Old 02-07-2008, 02:51 PM   #8  
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Do you have any friends with exercise equipment and kids? I find it makes for a nice play date for everyone to even do videos with my friends while the kids play together.
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Old 02-07-2008, 03:37 PM   #9  
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DVD's are a great workout and they aren't expensive. I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old and I do it with them all the time.
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Old 02-07-2008, 03:56 PM   #10  
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Workout videos are great too. I do Tae Bo before my brood gets out of bed.
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Old 02-07-2008, 04:18 PM   #11  
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Ugh. I don't have any suggestions about the $$, but it sounds like the unsupportive hubby is really just...ugh.
I'm sorry you have to deal with that.
S
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Old 02-07-2008, 09:53 PM   #12  
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hugs to you
my dh hasnt been too supportive on me trying to workout and lose weight, we live with his family i cant trust his family to watch our kids long enough for me to talk a walk around the area(wretched little city) we cant afford a memebership to the YMCA yet and we'd have to hear his mom and her drunk of a husband ***** about how we spend our money(but they can get beer and cigs no problem)
i totally agree with the "fun money" set an amount aside for both of you and no one gets to complain about it being was spent


i'm trying to sell beaded creations to give me my fun money so i can fund stuff and buy whatever i want. only i've been paid for 1 of 3 orders so my fun money is trapped on a western union money order that no one wants to cash
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Old 02-07-2008, 10:20 PM   #13  
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Your situation sounds so much like mine. My hubby supports me but doesn't help me. He has a membership to 24 hour fitness. Well, something happened to his truck while he was workingout and they gave him 4 months free. So, I asked him to put me on there since he doesn't have to pay for his but he absolutely refuses. He just will not put me on his account. He gives me so many different excuses.....doesn't want to pay (but he can buy 6 cans of beer a night, every night), then he says that I won't go (I will because I'm serious now about losing weight), the excuses go on and on. I just figured that since he was paying his for $40 but isn't now and if he would pay mine (I don't work) in place of his, then there shouldn't be a problem. If I got his account it's only $30. Yeah, we both have frustrating hubby's. Sorry don't know what to tell you. Just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one in this type of situation. Try to fun money fund. It might work. Good luck.
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Old 02-08-2008, 10:35 AM   #14  
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Honestly, I would just go buy it. He'll get over it.
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Old 02-08-2008, 02:05 PM   #15  
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Thanks ladies...I really like the idea of the fun money. I'll try and run that by him when he gets home. And I'm sorry that we have to deal with these "men". They'd better watch it or we'll all take our great personalities and newly trimmed bodies elsewhere!! (nah, I couldn't do that but it would be a great threat!!)
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