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-   -   Getting over emo eating (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/131720-getting-over-emo-eating.html)

WastedThermos 01-18-2008 02:01 AM

Getting over emo eating
 
If any of you have ever read/heard anything by Bob Greene, you know that conquering emotional and/or mindless eating is one of the things he suggests you do first. Well, of course thats easier said that done. I have, however, started pin pointing some of my emotional eating habits and I hope that by recognizing them I will be able to change them.

Sometimes distracting myself or consciously deciding that I'm NOT going to eat works, sometimes it doesn't

I've realized that the nights my boyfriend goes out, I'm more likely to emotionally eat. He lives far away, so our night phone conversations are one of the things that I look forward to all day.

I can't be mad at him for having fun with his friends, because if I knew anyone here then I'd probably go out too. BUT, I think that in trying to talk myself out of being disappointed/grumpy I use food to quiet those feelings. I don't want to talk to him (Anymore) about it, because I don't want him to feel like he has to stay home every night and babysit me.

Before I started staying on track eating-wise, I would use this as an excuse to totally binge. Fast-food runs to cheer me up. Now, its just a few extra hundred calories at the end of the day that I don't need.

Ok, so now that I've recognized this pattern, I'm not sure how to get over it. I guess my questions are if you are an emotional eater, when have you noticed you turn to food for comfort? And second, if you've gotten over it, how did you do it?

laniemama 01-18-2008 08:34 AM

I was in a long distance relationship once with my now husband so I know exactly how you're feeling. It's really hard- I didn't do well at with it at all, I had a lot of the same issues. My advice would be to go to the gym as soon as you hang up the phone. You don't have to worry about not knowing anyone there (you could actually meet some people) and it would be a great release. I look at my exercise time as therapy or "my time"- I don't know what I would do without it. Hang in there!

foucault 01-18-2008 11:30 AM

I feel you on the emotional eating. I was in a long distance relationship with my current boyfriend for almost a year. Whenever he had responsibilities at night (working or hanging with friends) and I couldn't talk to him on the phone, I'd eat everything in sight. It wasn't really a conscious decision: Oh, I can't talk to him, I'm so depressed, I'll get eat the world. It was just something I did to make me feel better.

I'd say the easiest way to stop it is to find something to replace the bad habit. Instead of eating, you could find a hobby to take its place when you need something to pick you up and keep you occupied. I've found knitting to be very good at that. It takes both your hands, so eating while knitting is pretty much impossible. Plus, once you get the hand of it, you can do it while you're watching television or a movie. And, you can make something neat for yourself while you are avoiding food. There are loads of other things to do if you don't like knitting. Read a book, write, talk to people online, whatever you enjoy that doesn't lead to more food.

Shorty1985 01-18-2008 11:59 AM

Oh I understand 100% about this whole emotional eating thing. It really is annoying isn't it?!?! But it tastes and feels so good......at the time. Any time I feel that way now I try to distract myself with something else or eat an apple or something. It's really hard for me because I work 10 hrs a day/5 days a week. i sit in front of a computer for 10 hours a day..... bored.....and hungry. All out of boredom.


**BTW: I love reading your posts (because you show ur pic)... you are so beautiful!

Jelbb 01-18-2008 12:07 PM

I tend to eat the most when I'm bored, or when my feelings have been hurt. The times really vary, I can't say that there's a specific time that I've been able to pinpoint, but... I just read this article, and it's full of some really great ideas I thought I'd pass on for what to eat when you just need to EAT:

http://www.newstarget.com/003550.html

Lovely 01-18-2008 12:13 PM

I have a long-distance fiance, so I can completely empathize.

Knowing when & why you eat is an amazingly powerful tool. (In fact, I've been told that "Knowing is half the battle!" ;)) So, you've recognized your patterns. Congrats!!! Now... Have you planned for them?

Do you know in advance when the boy is going to be out for the night? - Make your own plans! Go out to a bookstore, go out to a movie, stay home and keep your hands busy by knitting, start playing online video games (>_> although, I find them absolutely addictive :D). Pick up an extra hobby or (you say you don't know many people where you are) go out and find friends! Also, while I'm SURE you love your time talking to him, you may want to make a few plans yourself before even finding out if he's going out, too. Afterall, I'm sure your life doesn't revolve completely around his plans.

For me, the best thing was having my own plans, so that when Fiance was working late, I wasn't sitting around twiddling my thumbs ready to pounce on all sorts of foodstuff. (I also always have a book I'm reading ready just in case we were planning on talking and something came up.) I have my own plans, too, though, that Fiance has to deal with when I'm not available to talk.

I know it'll take some time to find what works for you. All the best of luck!!!

Sharron616 01-18-2008 01:10 PM

In Bob Greene's first book, he talked about how Oprah never had a headache until she started her fitness journey... It's not that she never had a headache, it's just that she never felt one before because she always ate the pain away...

I can relate. Whenever anything "hurts" emotionally or physically, I try to eat the pain away. Now that I've started working out/eating right, I "shop" the pain away. Shopping can be just as harmful, just financially instead of physically! Lol! I'm in your boat, I read and get online, but I'm still new to Charleston, so I don't have a lot of options. Most of the friends I do know have children and their husbands are home, so they're busy.

Thank you for posting this, it's helping to see everyone's advice.

I know you've heard this, but my now husband and I were long distance for 7 months, and I went thru all the same things, but I was at home with friends and family. Now he's deployed and I'm here alone, so it's even worse! We can do it though!

WastedThermos 01-19-2008 11:47 PM

Thanks so much to everyone who responded!! I think you all have really good ideas and if I had an earlier work schedule, I think it would be easier for me to "go" do things. I probably should have put in my first post that when I say night-time talks, I mean late night talks after I get off around midnight. I definitely want to try to employ those tactics during my days off, because working out and hanging out with people does make a huge difference.

Its good to know I'm not the only one who's used food in place of a boyfriend/husband/etc.

lanie- I use exercise as therapy too! I wish that my gym was open when I got off work because I would definitely, definitely go. I might try finding some videos or something I could do at night. Maybe yoga or pilates or something calming.

foucault - I :lol: 'ed at "... so eating while knitting is pretty much impossible." I think it would be good for me to make a list of things it is impossible to eat while doing.

Shorty - Thank you so much for the sweet compliment. Stuff like that always makes my day. I think you`re beautiful too! and its always good to be able to put a face with a name and a story. I sit in front of a computer all day at work too. (Like now!)

Jelb- I'm checking out that site now. I love that pickles is listed, since they are one of my favorite go-to-low-calorie foods. It makes me feel validated. :)

Faerie - I think I forget about reading sometimes as a way to distract myself. I think thats probably more engaging than watching tv to keep my mind off of things.

Sharron - Yay! Another person who's read some Bob. I am a shopper too! Now that I'm on my own I have a little less funds to go out and spend, but I definitely have a habit of trying to "shop away" a bad day. I feel like I've read somewhere that emotional eating and emotional shopping can go together. Maybe it was Bob. Charleston is a beautiful city, but anywhere thats new can be a little overwhelming when you`re trying to navigate it yourself. Maybe when the weather is nicer you could go shopping in the market/downtown area. (I know, more shopping.) When I've visited friends there, thats where we liked to go. Oh, and also some of the public beaches down there are a nice getaway too.

leanmoomercows 01-20-2008 12:31 AM

I'm also an emotional eater, so I feel for you very much! I was also in a long distance relationship with my now-fiance (1000 miles apart :( ) and it was very difficult. Waiting for his phone calls and munching on a cheeseburger in the process. But I found that if I kept my mind occupied it helped. I would do puzzles, read, play a video game something that takes focus and your full attention (and preferably has you using your hands). Sometimes it helps to just take your mind completely off your boyfriend. Not in a "I don't want to think about you" kind of way. But in a "I don't want to binge thinking about how much I miss you, so I'm going to pre-occupy my mind with this crossword puzzle" kind of way. It may not work for you, but I found it was something that did help me!

Jenbunnie03 01-20-2008 12:42 AM

Maybe if you had some girls nights you would be less likely to eat emotionally because you were having fun yourself. Also if the girls night out involves dancing you'll be exercising too =)


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