In teh 20 something thread there was a post regarding the worst thing someone has ever said or done to you? It breaks my heart to read some of those posts but I have to ask-has anyone spoke back or retalitated against someone who put you down because of your weight?
I have my own little story but first off I want to say I'm embarrassed about what I did but I was pushed and pushed until I just couldn't take it, so Here we go. . . .
This is another Jr.High story, I was probably 13 and EVERYDAY for the entire year after my 4th period Science I had to walk down a little used hallway to my next class. This area was always deserted at this time of the day and EVERYDAY I would have to walk past 2 boys who would yell things at me like "hey fatty" "how much do you weigh?" "will you date my friend he likes fat girls" and some things much worse. Again this happened EVERYDAY and close to the end of the year I would just dread going to this class but it was the ONLY way to get there so I had to walk this way everyday and could not avoid these boys. Well, one day I don't know if I was PMSing it or what but the worst boy out of the 2 grabbed me by the arm and spun me back and said something about how fat I was and he could feel the ground shaking when I walked by and I SNAPPED--I don't know what possessed me but I looked him square in the eye and spit in his face! I then dropped my books to the ground raised my fists and asked him if he wanted me to kick his *** here or outside. Let me tell you I was about 5 inches taller than this guy and outweight him by a good 100# and I seriously think I could have whipped his butt good, but his friend grabbed him by the arm and they walked away.
What I did was terrible I know but that day I felt like I could have conquered the world and I NEVER had problems with either of them again-in fact I never saw the one boy again until a few years later when he was working at a crappy restaurant as a burger boy-oh and the grill was right there so I made sure he didn't spit in my burger in retaliation!
Over the years I wondered if what I did had any impact on his life? Did he change his ways? I guess I'll never know but I can say it feels good to get this off my chest.
I am the type that thinks of the greatest comeback after the situation is over.
I also replay the incidents over and over in my head thinking of what I should have done or said.
Only once have I stood up for myself and that was recently. These stupid people at a bar played a stupid joke on me. I think its becuase of my weight. This girl was with two guys she comes over to me and tells me one of the guys likes me and I should go over and talk to him. I said no thanks I was there with my fiancee. I walk away and look over my should to see them laughing at me. I alert my friends to these people and we are all giving them dirty looks. They then left the bar and I followed them. I swore at them quite a bit....not the classiest thing to do. Needless to say they didnt turn around they kept heading for the car they were scared i think HAHA.
I will tell you what though I have felt very unsure going out ever since. I wish I hadnt let those idiots take that from me.
I remember once, when I worked at Wendy's, one of my co-workers called me fat. He was larger than I was, and at that time I was known for my temper, so I dropped my mop (I was going to clean the dining room floors) and just turned to him. I wasnt going to really do anything, but he said "Oh %$*@, shes comming after me" and ran out the back door. It made everyone laugh, and he had to have someone let him back in since the dining room doors were locked and the back door only opens from the inside. He didnt apologize, but he never called me fat again either
Haven't been in my 20's for a long while, but I had to answer this post. Two incidents come immediately to mind.
1. In 6th grade, we were lined up to go to gym or lunch or something, and I was wearing a necklace of faux ivory elephants, Kenny Scott (still remember his name) started tugging on the necklace and making a comment like are these your relatives? or something like that. I didn't have much time to react, and I have to think it was more the violation of personal space (tugging at me) than the comment itself, but I punched him right in the eye, and he fell back into the garbage can. He was a bit of a bully, and the rest of the class actually cheered (I was horrified, but also felt good and powerful). The really funny thing was that I was sent to the school psychologist (for only one session, though), and even some of the bystanders had to go in to to tell the counselor what had happened. I had never heard of a boy being sent to the counselor for even knock down drag out fights, so I was kind of offended. Even funnier, at 8th grade graduation, Kenny signed my yearbook with something like "to the girl that knocked me on my A** in 6th grade."
2. As an adult, my mother (also fat) and I were shopping, and a skinny mom and daughter were staring at us "open mouthed." I said VERY loudly to Mom, "I don't think they've ever seen fat people before," and we started laughing hysterically. I don't think I've ever seen anyone turn a deeper shade of red.
My favorite comeback (I've only gotten to use it once or twice) when someone calls me fat as an insult is some variation of "did you figure that out by yourself, or did you have help?"
What surprises me is how many people expect you to say and do absolutely nothing.
Haha.. those are all very good comebacks. I try to be classy. I don't do anything like spitting or anything physical but I've never been pushed to the limit either but I've also been lucky as well. But I do say sarcastic or snarky comments when someone tries to make me feel like a loser for being fat. I also have very good friends that are very understanding as to why I am fat and they know I am working on it and they stand up for me often times and I don't even know it.
I think it's really sad that we stand up for ourselves (usually after VERY long periods of provocation) and WE are the ones to feel bad about it. Let that be a reflection of the beautiful person you are, as opposed to the person who has it within them to tease, bully or intimidate another person. Because I was an overweight child, I was picked on and left out pretty much from the moment I was allowed outside to play. Over the years my skills at backbiting and one-liners have been very sharply honed!! I'm grateful that my bad experiences have made me a quicker thinker.
I once had an experience that was like something from a movie, and it was very satisfying! I was at a club with some friends, and a guy approached me with some lame line. I looked closer at him and realised he was a bully in high school!! I said to him "you don't remember me, do you?" and he was like "oh, I'm sure I'd remember you, heh heh heh.." (gag!) I said "you treated me like crap in high school - it's Diana, remember?" and he was very embarrassed!!! He didn't stop trying to chat me up though! Poor thing to be so intellectually challenged...
Like Diana I became quick witted and would often say something back. I started standing up very young, I lived in a neighborhood of boys, and if I wanted to play outside....well I had to defend my own yard, or they would have ran myself and my nephew back in the house. I became a mother hen to my friends, I was the one who always stood up for the others, so when I started to get heavy, the kids I went to school with didn't say much, until we hit middle school and all of the grade schools combined.
I was not backing down though, I had stood my ground too long to let someone insult me and get away with it, so I gained a rep quickly. I also used the 'did you figure that out urself' line, as well as another favorite 'do they teach state the obvious in the LD classes?' (LD was the term used here for kids who needed extra help with the work). I think the experience that sticks out in my mind is from later in my life.... I was around 19 I think, and at the mall with friends, when my then BF and I ran into his ex...who just happened to think it was funny that after she dumped him all he could get was the fat b*tch from high school. As hateful as it was, I stated just as loudly, that "at least he knows his current GF isn't carrying pets in her panties" and then pretended to whisper to her that you could buy an over the counter medicine to get rid of them, and I would loan her the money...only I never was good at whispering so that others couldn't hear me. Needless to say, she shut up rather quickly. I almost feel bad about it, but then I think of all the horrible things she loved to say...and the guilt is gone.
The school bus was always horrible for me, but there was this boy who WAS NOT SKINNY, very ugly, just very mean. And he would make fun of me, this boy also lived a couple of houses down from me. I always got teased. But on the school bus, I can remember he just did it, I went over the edge. And I literally fought him. I hit him, I broke his glasses. I was probaly around 12. I got in school suspension for it, and his mom came over to my house to talk to my mom. That is the only fight Ive ever been in. That was about 7-8 years ago, well I recently saw him and dont know why. But gave him my number. Maybe to just do what im doing to him now. I totally love ignoring him. Greatest satisfaction!!
Funny how he is still big and ugly, but cant stop calling me..
I'm with the "I usually think of a comeback AFTER the fact" crowd...
When I was dating my ex, I was somewhere near 170 and after we broke up, I lost a ton of weight - mind you, not in a healthy way - I still shed about 40 lbs. He was short and kind of chubby himself, balding, you know.... we broke up because he just wasn't "ready" for a relationship...
When I saw him 3 months later to return his stuff, he couldn't believe that the chubby girl he dated now was in the 130s and I looked HOT! He tried to get me to go out with him and kept saying how good I looked, even that maybe he had made a mistake in breaking up with me. At that time, I had just met my now-husband (who is HOT like a model, very muscular, lean, tall...), so I said sure- let's meet at Old Chicago's later on. I walked in with my so hot boyfriend, looking very hot myself, and my ex's jaw just dropped to the floor. I just kind of gave him the "neener neener neener" look and walked away and had dinner with my husband.
Five years later I still think I got the better end of the deal when we broke up. My husband is awesome and way better looking!
To be honest, I have not really been teased all of that much (well, at least to my face--I'm sure there've been many things said behind my back). I think part of it is that I'm generally meaner than most people and fairly quick on my feet. I also grew up in a small town and went to a small liberal arts college, where you know everyone's foibles. I like to throw people's own failures back at them. "At least I wasn't idiotic enough to get my head stuck in a bicycle rack/fail my thesis/end up in the drunk tank." I also like paraphrasing Winston Churchill. "Yes, I am fat, but I can lose weight whereas you will always be ugly/a dbag/a failure at life/whatever is situationally appropriate."
I have to say, though, this is why I spend a lot of time with gay guys. It's a cliche for a reason--they appreciate my fabulousness and are fiercely loyal. And you can always deploy them to wage psychological wars of attrition on those who deserve it. "Oh, you mean this shirt is supposed to fit you like that?" Strategic pluck at the clothing and cocking of the head. "How... interesting." But only when provoked, of course. They also make me feel beautiful--I can always count on my boys for compliments and kisses.
I have to ask the opposite question now. . . .
