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Old 08-06-2007, 11:13 PM   #1  
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Default My friends throw me off...

Sometimes I feel like its difficult to balance a social life with eating healthy and exercising. For example, I had a few friends visit from school this week... which means no gym and eating mainly at restaurants. So frustrating! Even when I don't have people visiting, if I want to hang out with my friends here, of course I am sitting at a table full of bowls of chips and crap, or we're sitting around a fire and making smores, or I'm tempted by mixed drinks...

anyone have any tips to work out this struggle?! I'm teetering on the edge of my plan, desperately trying to get back on track. I haven't exercised the past two days, but yesterday was ok with food and today I got back on track with my eating... tomorrow I will definitely get to the gym. But what about next weekend, when everyone wants to hang out again?!
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Old 08-06-2007, 11:23 PM   #2  
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Honestly, you need to figure out what a happy medium is. Like, if you're sitting around a fire making s'mores, can you just roast some marshmallows and eat those? Or, if you're at a restaurant with chips/salsa, can you have 2-3 and just talk? There is definitely something on every menu that isn't awful, and don't be afraid to ask for special accommodations.. like having sauce on the side or something grilled or not cooked with oil/butter. Your friends won't care. If you're self-conscious about it, then anything grilled with a salad (light dressing on the side) is usually a safe bet. Alcohol is hard.. but if you budget it into your calories and you're aware that they are empty calories, then have one and enjoy it. You need to make changes that you can live with, not just changes to lose weight. You can totally do this, you just need to be strong and put you and your health/happiness ahead of insert social temptation here.
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Old 08-07-2007, 12:09 AM   #3  
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I agree with mama...
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Old 08-07-2007, 01:20 AM   #4  
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Wink I know the feeling...

I know exactly what you are talking about. It happens when you're not in school too. I have friends who are very supportive of my weight loss, and friends who are not. I know that sometimes when I am feeling very motivated and not likely to "cheat" I will spend time with the not so supportive friends. When I am feeling weak? The supportive people all the way!!!

And, remember. Don't ever cancel on the gym, it will never cancel on you. That is the hardest lesson I have to learn!

Good luck!!!

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Old 08-07-2007, 02:26 AM   #5  
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Yes, I have such a hard time doing this too. The other night my friends wanted to go out to eat but I figured out that when they would be ready to go out to eat it would be close to 8:30pm and I just simply couldn't wait that long otherwise I would get sick from hunger so me and my husband ate without them. And we just met up later. I also do not drink due to a medication I'm on now, but I never really drank because I had noticed that I was more likely to munch on things at a get together like chips, dip, sweet stuff and etc.
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Old 08-07-2007, 03:02 AM   #6  
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That's the bane of social life, huh?

Do you have any control on the food brought at those gatherings, or on part of it? Like, bringing vegetable sticks and the likes, so that if you're tempted to munch, at least you can do it on carrots and stuff? I know some people will probably snicker at the sight of this, but hey, if it's what it takes... besides you can pretend to prefer veggie sticks to chips (honestly? I do ).

For the restaurant, yeah, dressing on the side, asking your food to be cooked without butter, etc. You may find like you're being a bother at first, but many people do that, after all (my ex did it with EVERYTHING because he disliked sauce), so I bet they're started to get used to it now.

As for the exercise part... Can you be a pusher? Like, enthusiastically suggesting you all have a walk after dinner to chat and have fun, etc? It's not a real workout at the gym, but it's still better than going back home to sit in front of the TV or whatever people do. (And it helps digesting all that food eaten at the restaurant, haha.)
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Old 08-07-2007, 06:33 AM   #7  
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I'll sometimes have friends stay with me when they're visiting from other cities etc and I let them know I am still going to the gym...they can come if they want :P Or that I am going for a run...again...welcome to join me :P

Generally though I go early in the morning when they're still passed out in bed missing out on the best part of the day!

As for eating out...I have to admit I will have what I like but I do naturally gravitate toward healthier options...grilled, salads with dressing on side, lotsa veggies etc and let everyone else pick what they will.

I grew a thick skin when it came to comments about being healthy :P
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Old 08-08-2007, 02:07 AM   #8  
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This was a huge problem with me at first. It was pretty much the only thing that got in my way. It just gradually got better though. When I open a menu I automatically go to the soup and salads section and a lot of menus have a section of healthier choices. It was VERY hard at first, but I found that it felt so good when I went out with friends and made good choices. Now, it just comes naturally.
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Old 08-08-2007, 02:00 PM   #9  
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I'm just very up front with my friends about what I'm doing. I'm on Atkins. I can't have pizza or a piece of that steaming, delicious bread they set on the table or the fettuccine alfredo, or those chips and salsa. However, I CAN have vegetables and some delicious meat as an entree, or an order of hot wings or a chicken caesar salad without the croûtons. I've replaced drinking booze with seltzer and lime.

Most of my friends are VERY supportive--and the ones who aren't, I have to beat them over the head with it a bit. NO, I'm not going to have a piece of that chocolate cake you baked and NO, I'm not going to drink that Japanese beer you think is amazing. I've got to be unwilling to compromise--or it all goes out the window for me. Eventually, your friends will respect what you're doing if you don't cave.
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Old 08-08-2007, 04:05 PM   #10  
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Hahaha I agree. Friends can definetly be a holdup in your diet/ workout plans.

Especially when you have friends who love their junk food as much as I do.

Sometimes I get made fun of for being "too healthy" at restarants, and they always try convincing me to indulge. But I always stand my ground and most of them will respect that.

It's amazing how many social events involve food: Going to a movie (gotta stop at the concession stand), ordering a pizza, girls night with fatty snacks and mixed drinks, going out to eat. It's really hard being the only person there not eating and/or sipping on water.

My idea is to take the reins on social plans and organize active events where food isn't a part in the gathering. You'll still be hanging out and having fun, but if you pick an activity thats centered around something other than food, the temptation is gone.
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Old 08-09-2007, 12:06 PM   #11  
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My family and friends have always been very supportive about me losing weight. Most of the time they try to jump on the bandwagon. My thorn in my side is my DH. He's always telling me you can have just a bite or have just one. He is a total enabler. He doesn't understand that if I ate like him I would probably be 500lbs or something. So now, I avoid eating at restaurants I know have nothing good to eat. I stopped buying treats for our house. I also stopped buying beer I like to drink because drinking leads to cravings. The hardest times for me is when we host UFC and other MMA events. He expects me to make all types of snack foods and with everyone drinking it's hard to stay OP. I now limit our hosting capacity to once a month. Sucks for him but hey, at least it's worth it.
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Old 08-11-2007, 01:09 PM   #12  
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My friends are supportive of me losing weight, but not my food allergies which is the bigger issue. Like they order pizza and tell me I can just scrape the topping off (which is what I did before South Beach), but I can't eat the cheese. "Oh a little won't hurt you". Actually, a little will. Also, I would eat sugar free ice cream but generally the sugar free ice cream is not dairy free. And in fact, dairy free ice cream often has milk proteins in it because it is made for lactose intollerant people, not people with dairy allergies. That doesn't phase some of my friends when they all collectively decide when we're out that they want to go get ice cream.

At least they're willing to try out vegan and Kosher restaurants so then I KNOW I won't a have a milk cross contamination problem.

Also, I'm Jewish and go to a mostly Jewish school. Every holiday completely revolves around food. Bagels piled high with cream cheese and lox, knishes, potato kugel... It's really a pain in the *** to deal with because I basically am banned from these gathering- including family gatherings- because they would have to make an entirely separate meal for me between my diet restrictions and my allergies.
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