comparing yourself to your thin friends?
 

anyone else do this? my best friend has a good body, is active and eats healthy except for maybe one meal a wk, i compare myself to her alot, and its really discourging, and she is now trying to tone up even more, i am so jealous and want her to fail until i get lose some weight to - i am a horrible friend! its so frustrating esp since it seems so easy for her to maintain her shape (she was never overweight). anyone else feel like this ever?

My closest friend has become a size 4 in the last year. She was a 12 before and talked about how fat she was. It is terrrible to go shopping with her as I am embarassed to even pick out things in my size. When she tries on her size 4 clothes she says things like "my butt is so big" or "my stomach is so fat". Yeah right!

OH YES!!

In my life it is my bestfriend and my sister (my other bestfriend). I love them both but sometimes wish that they could spend just one day in my shoes. I am not overweight by many peoples standards but at 5ft 4in and 153 I am not where I want to be. Both of these people in my life are at least 5ft 7in and probably 120. All my life people have said to me (about my sister) "it must be hard having such a thin sister." or "you just can't eat as much as your sister".

Just remember that everyone (even the skinny ones) have that person in their life. My sister (who I think is beautiful, skinny, sexy, etc.) is always saying to me "I wish I had your sense of humor" or "I wish I was as personable and unselfish as you." These are things in me that I don't see, but someone else envies. We never see the good in ourselves or think that some one could be jelouse of us. It is ok to have those feeling. We ALL do. Just remember that they are probably jelouse of you for things that you would never guess.

I HATE shopping with my "skinny" friends. Actually, one of my good friends isn't skinny, but she's not fat either. She's considered to be "thick". She can fit into "regular" sizes and I HATE shopping with her. Lately she's been gaining weight and I'm actually HAPPY. I know it's mean but sometimes I just want to be like "Haha!" to her.

My lil brother was giving me a massage once (and he's also fat) and threw a TON of lotion on my back and stuck a pencil in my roll and they were BOTH laughing. And you'd think that her being the MATURE ONE (21) would be like "ok, stop" or at least NOT encourage it right? NOPE! When the pencil fell out SHE stuck it back in and was laughing. So now that she's gaining weight I'm actually HAPPY about it. Just so I can get my revenge! Mean, I know... but SCREW HER!

Friends, random strangers, trees. I'll compare myself to anything. :lol: But I find now that I've lost some of the weight, I really don't know where I stand anymore, so part of it is still about feeling my way around as far as how big I am.

I have a few bigger friends and I hate that I'm now the one making them feel bad about what size they are. As I've lost weight I've also gotten really into fat acceptance (odd I know) and it bothers me a lot that it bugs them.

I do it all the time. I want my sister's body: Long legs, skinny , big boobs. Then there is me: Short legs, fat, small boobs :(

yep I do it all the time comparing my body to my friends and other people in my life. I am my own worst critic..

I tend to do that still too often to my liking. :| Although I've noticed I'm starting to look out for muscles and toning now, rather than "she's just skinnier than I", and well, this is something I can help in the end. For the other kind of comparison, I really try not to let myself fall in that again. I know all of us have different bodies, and I have to accept mine the way it is, have to accept that I'll never be tall and lean, but that I can be my small, stocky self in a right way all the same (I might as well use its strength instead of wanting to look like the toothpick I genetically can't be ;)).

On the other hand, it's true that WE also have things other people don't. So I'm fat and my sister is naturally skinny, but hey, *I* have a super-smooth and nice skin, while she's been fighting for years with persistent acne problems that really don't want to go away. Thank you genetics and vegetables, you're allowing me to save up on creams, foundation and the likes. :D

All the time. The majority of my friends are thin and gorgeous, and I often feel like an outcase when they get all dressed up to go out and can share clothes with one another. And then they can eat and drink as much alcohol as they want and don't gain a pound. It's hard to be around them at this point.

I do have one friend I particularily envy. She's really skinny but also toned. She can pretty much wear anything and look good in it. But the thing is she rarely worked out and ate whatever she wanted to. She always complains that she's fat and tells me I'm skinny, which I find odd.

Anyways now that I've lost a considerable amount of weight, I think that she's feeling threatened by it, even though she's still miles and miles ahead of my body-wise. Now she's taking pilates classes and cutting back on eating trying to look even better. It's like she's scared of not being the "hot friend" anymore.

It's strange...why can't we all look good and be healthy?

Oh man, I totally envy those girls who are thin AND look toned without even trying! I just wonder how it's possible. How can they look so toned without exercise? The only answer I can come up with is that their body fat percentage must be so low that they look ALL muscle!

As for my friends, a good portion of them do happen to be either considered skinny, thin, or average. I don't have any close fat friends, but that obviously wasn't a conscious decision.

And Ohhkay8, I am SO perplexed by people who eat whatever they want to, get drunk whenever they feel like it, hardly work out (if at all) and never gain an ounce! They don't understand what it's like to be fat, nor do they understand how someone could possibly get there! I recently spoke with a skinny friend, who asked me for the umteenth time how I gained all my weight. :(

As for comparing bodies, I honestly only compare my body with those that are attainable for me. For instance, I have a medium-large bone structure. I'm not going to look at a skinny mini with a small frame and go, "ohmygod, I WANT HER BODY!" when I know I could never get it. Most of my friends aren't toned enough for me to envy their bodies (they might be thin, but that's it, you know? unimpressive), though if I had a toned friend who was still curvy and feminine AND had a bone structure similar to mine, I would be quite green by now.

I do too, not just with my thin friends though!

My group of best mates is 5 girls, 2 of them larger than me, 2 of them smaller.

I compare myself to the thin girls thinking things like "why does she have a thin figure when she eats so much crap?" and of my fatter friends I think "I'm glad I'm smaller than her."
These feelings make me so ashamed because I adore my friends because they're fantastic people. I hate being jealous, but that's life eh?

Exactly! And it's especially hard when they complain about how fat they are when they can barely even find tummy flab to grab. I'm like ummm hello?! I don't think they mean to be insensitive about it, but they are.

I often wish I could have my friends' body. She's not some skinny size 2 with big boobs...in fact, she's kind of heavy herself. But she has a nice curvy shape and is proportionate. I'd love to get down to that size, even if it is only an 18. Heck, to me that would be amazing!

This is my life story I think...ever since I can remember I've been best friends with the skinny girl..the beautiful popular skinny girl...can you say wishful thinking??? I then joined a sorority, the athletic sorority....haha so i've been surrounded for four years with what most guys drool over. Suprising I compared myself but never felt too bad about it...for the most part, but then again I made choices like I didn't go to frat parties that often, etc. but hey now were all going to be the skinny friend that gets compared to! ;)

Honestly? Nope.

I am the "fat girl" in my social circles, certainly. BUT - many of my skinny friends are incredibly unhealthy; they eat poorly, don't exercise, etc. I would rather keep some of this weight but be healthy (well nourished, healthy heart, etc) than be skinny and unhealthy. Above all else, my health matters.

I get frustrated that they can lead "unhealthy" lifestyles and remain skinny, when I can't, but that's just how it is.

I agree - though I am envious of my skinny friends - and skinny people in general (I look at them and think 1) they must not eat anything 2) how the **** did they manage to stay skinny 3) why am I the "big" one 4) etc) - I still know that I am healthier than they are - even through my occasional binge - I know I am the one that goes running most of the time - or some other excersize - where as my skinny friends - well - I don't think they will be that healthy through the ages unless they get their act together :)
now to beat my stomache bulge :)

I do it constantly. My friend, Meg, is extremely tiny and every time we go out, I feel really self-conscious. She's the pretty one and I'm the DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend). It sucks!

That or when I go to restaurants with thin friends and the waiter come overs to ask if we want dessert, he only looks at me. I HATE THAT!:mad:

i dont even shop with people!!! i wont do it!! im humiliated to say my size and i flat out lie about my weight to anyone and everyone!!

so glad you made this post!

I have a taller friend who is 5'6" (I'm 5'3") who is heavier by pounds than me, BUT who definitely looks a lot leaner and definitely not fat because of her height. she eats ANYthing she wants and still looks lean!! and doesnt exercise, maybe once a week! i compare myself to her EVERY single day i see her...its so hard!!

I have a friend who was slightly overweight but then she lost a whole lot when she went to college. Recently she's gained a bit back but she's not overweight, I'd say average. She's constantly makes comments about herself, like we'll go out to dinner and order salads and she'll finish the whole thing and say "Oh man, I'm such a fatty". Are you serious? Eating a salad makes you fat? Anyway, I know its bad but I was kind of happy that she gained some weight back so someone is a little more like me. Whenever one of my skinny friends says they're fat I wonder if they think they're fat, what do they think of me?