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Old 06-24-2007, 06:03 PM   #31  
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I agree with Zenor. This is a very common problem and it is going to be a touchy subject for you to bring up. He has to already have a lot of insecurities from being married to a much younger woman and if he is having ED its got to be freaking him out.
I almost feel sorry for the poor guy. Maybe you could suggest he exercise with you. Couldn't hurt for him to experience the relaxation and health benefits of exercise. Sometimes a long walk is a great time for a deep conversation. Good luck.
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Old 06-25-2007, 01:11 AM   #32  
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Thank you so much! And it's funny that you say it may be his insecurities........We have talked about ED in the pst and he has had problems with low testosterone....all of which I have been very understanding and caring about.

I did talk to him today and told him we will start a playing tennis together...a sport he really likes...at least three times a week....and he actually smiled and said thanks.....so maybe you are right ...maybe it's some insecurities within and I need to help him get into shape and build stamina for his age......

I really want to thank everyone for their input....we have been together for 10 years! and I do this this man.....I guess that's why it hurt so much......but I feel alot better now with the support you have given..

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Old 06-25-2007, 04:09 PM   #33  
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thanks for the responce. ur guy sounds like my crush. unfortunantly he is on a broadway tour right now so to be honest i dont know when i'm going to see him. but i'm going to take your advice and lose the weight. i know this sounds so bad, but ive never been able to do anything for myself, like in school if i make straight a's i get a vacation somewhere or something cool like that. with my weight it was like ok so i lose it and then what? ya know. but now i have something to do it for. if nothing else comes out of this whole thing, i will atleast be able to thank him for that. i hope everything with your guy works out.

as for the weightloss i'm coming up with a plan. its kinda hard when i'm moving from place to place. my lease is up here and i have to go back to my grandparents which is out in the middle of nowhere and then move back into my new apartment and then be able to really go to the gym. i plan on focusing just changing what i eat.no sugar, bread, potatos, alcohol, and meat. maybe only have chicken every now and then.
ok this has gotten really long!! lol sorry bout that. keep me posted about whats going on!
i tried to PM you but u have ur setting off!
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Old 06-26-2007, 09:10 AM   #34  
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You can't do it for him, you have to do it for you! My husband married me fat, and he loves me unconditionally.....He is very supportive in my weight loss journey because he knows how much it means to me....

I hardly think that you are overweight!!!
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Old 06-27-2007, 01:46 PM   #35  
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i'm so sorry to hear your dh said that. just be sure that you are truly doing it for yourself! my dh always said he loved me regardless of my size and after i began to lose weight he said he loved how much more confident i was. i hope all works out for you and hope that your husband realizes what a great person you are regardless of your size.
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Old 06-28-2007, 02:14 AM   #36  
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I guess I worry a little bit about a 50-year-old man who would be involved with a 19-year-old girl. Quite frequently, the man really wants to control the girl, and when she marries him and begins to grow into herself more as her own woman, it gets more difficult to do that. This could simply be another tool to regain the control that he may be losing over you. Whatever the case, please don't let him mess with your mind. Weight control is hard enough without all of these additional emotional issues being wrapped up in it. I agree with what the others have posted - he's got issues that are completely unrelated to you. I don't believe for a second that he's suddenly not attracted to you anymore.
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Old 06-30-2007, 09:14 PM   #37  
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Thank you everyone! Just to keep you posted I haven't been on for a week because I moved out of the house.....It was bothering me soo much....and those who have said it may be a controlling issue are probably right on target.
Since then he has begged me back and has admitted to being very insecure about losing me to someone else and that he is attracted to me.
Also I would like to applaud myself on one thing....even when I moved out and stayed with some friends....I still went to my training sessions at the gym (20 miles aways) every morning before work. I am and will get in shape for me and only me....this has been a great learning experience and you all have helped me on my journey!

Thank you all agin!

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Old 07-01-2007, 01:31 PM   #38  
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So.. You went back?
I've been lurking but wanted to jump in and say that you should be very proud of yourself. It's not easy to leave a bad situation. I hope you two work it out, if that's what you want. Good luck!
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Old 07-02-2007, 10:24 PM   #39  
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My ex left me 5 years ago because I was fat. Told me that all his problems were based on my weight.

He was cruel and abusive towards me... Hmmm... Gee, I wonder if he MADE me fat? *mad*

I'll never change for a man. Never.
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