Ok so I'm sorry to come in here and dump my problems on everyone. I'm not asking for anyone to respond it's just been a stressful day and I needed somewhere to vent.
My best friend (or so I thought) has just gotten her wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Her family doesn't really talk to her and she doesnt have many close friends. Also, my family has become sort of her adopted family. So anyway today she needed someone to follow her to the dealership because her car seat needed to replaced. This is a brand new 2007 Scion the seat is fine the thingy is just not working. Well, anyway....I work during the week as I'm sure most of you do and she starts blowing up my cell phone at work telling me... not asking me to come and take her to the dealership.
Sidenote
*Who the **** schedules for their car seat to be replaced the day after their teeth are removed anyway?
So I text her saying I can't I'm working. Then she proceeds to curse me out via text msg. So after she ends up making me feel like a bad person for just going about my life, I ask my boss if its ok to leave work early. My boss let me go. I drive over to her place and she answers the door with an attitude. I say ok let's go. She says forget it. I say look I left work to help you do this let's go. She then slams the door in my face????? Wtf...
I go home and I get a text from her saying that because I took so long to leave work she now has to leave her car overnight at the dealership and that she had her mom take her instead. Like its all somehow my fault????
Anyway, a few minutes ago I log onto myspace and she deleted herself from my friends....
This is just so hurtful because I have always been their for her when no one else was. It's like this one thing has cancelled out all of the good things I've ever done and suddenly I'm no longer worth having as a friend?
I know this sounds childish and stupid I just needed to vent. I'm sorry.
This person has a mother who is capable of taking her (as evidenced by the fact that she will take her tomorrow) and THAT is who should be taking her.
I would say she has boundary and psychological issues that have nothing to do with you. The way she treated you is the kind of reaction you'd expect if you slept with her boyfriend, NOT you being unable to get off work at her beck and call for something that she and she alone is responsible for.
If you really care about her, it may be worth being forgiving of her unacceptable behavior and still allow her to continue to stay in your life, based on the fact that she *did* just go through a painful minor surgery (and most likely is still medicated).
I second soulbliss maybe it's the meds. I know when I had my wisdoms pulled they put me on vicodin and when I wasn't sleeping, I was irritable.
But then again if she went as far as deleting you from her myspace maybe she was never truly a friend, just one of those users. I mean to react in that way is totally ridiculous.
Eventually, she'll come to her senses if she really is a true friend and realize how much of a she is being. I hope you feel better and realize that you did nothing wrong.
Wow...I hope for your sake she apologizes and it was just the wisdom teeth talking..That is brutal and unnecessary on her part! She should have been thankful you were willing to take the time to take her somewhere...I recently had to take my friend to a dealership in a town she had never been to because she needed a new car. She must have thanked me 10 times (I was getting annoyed by it lol) and she even gave me gas money even though I TOLD her I didnt' want it.
Thanks everyone. This is making me feel better. The thing is I don't think it's the meds she thinks the world revolves around her. How many times I've paid for her, taken her places. Like we went to AC and she didnt offer to pay for gas...parking..tolls anything. Never says thank you. It's almost like I was expected to do anything and everything for her. But yet if I asked anything of her it was like a big project.
Some people are just users. I spent a long time in a very similar 'friendship' except I was always going far beyond the call for her, and she did a lot of things to me that now I look back on and can't believe. She was very skilled at pushing my buttons and playing me to get what she wanted. And looking back what I got out of it was feeling needed and competent and like I was helping someone who had no one else. In reality she was playing the same game with a lot of different people - it was how she managed her life. I am still humiliated sometimes when I think about the things I put up with from her. And when I finally said "enough" I got a very similar reaction that you got.
Think about all the things she ever did for you, that made you happy and added positive things to your life. If there aren't many, then was it ever a true friendship? If there are lots, then maybe it is the meds and you can work through this when she is feeling better.
Whatever the answer is, you deserve much better from your friends!
Aw, hun, I've also been through a similar situation, and it is really difficult. But friendship is a two way street. For every time you pay, she should pick up the tab. Life is too short to be burdened with emotional and financial vampires.
So I say dump her right back (although maybe a little less melodramically ), and find someone who really loves and supports you like a best friend should. Best of luck!
Buh... If a person can't understand and acknowledge the fact that WORK is something important you can't get off from, and not in a slap of finger, then I say she has issues. It's not like you were frolicking in front of the Playstation and telling her "I can't come, I need to beat that level first".
If she's always been the way you describe her in a following post, then she seems to me like a user more than a friend. Besides, meds aren't an excuse. I conced they could make a person act on an impulse, due to pain and tiredness, but then taking the time (and above all, reflecting and thinking about) of suddenly jump over the computer and deleting you from her MySpace list? That's not the kind of impulse I've seen people on pain meds in my life go through, usually they have a tad bit more of other things to worry about first.
But I'm of those people who prefer to be alone than accompanied by a wrong person, so I tend to easily have an attitude of "forget about it, if this is all I was to him/her, then I am not going to bother" (even if it's painful at first). Maybe I'm a little harsh, I don't know. (Although I wouldn't advise that you take a step towards her at this point--again, what you mentioned about you always doing stuff for her and seldom the contrary tells me it may be what she's waiting for, to see if she can have you at her beck and call that way...)
Ok, I've had all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled at one time, and while I was in pain, I never would do something like that! Sounds to me like she was a total user in your friendship, and the minute you couldn't come through for her, then she had no more use for you. Who needs "friends" like that? I recommend that if you do stay in touch with her, to stop picking up the tab and doing everything. If she doesn't come around, then you're better off without her.
Sounds a bit like she has entitlement issues....ok not a bit but a LOT. Let her have her little tantrum, and take some time out for yourself. Once she realises what an *** shes making of herself shell come around....and if she doesnt then its her loss.
Dont let her make you feel bad for being a great friend
You girls are the best This has really helped me realize that this friendship wasn't really a friendship after all. I'll be better off without having her negativity in my life.
Something else that always bothered me was she wasn't very supportive of me trying to lose weight and be healthier. She always wanted to go get ice cream or fast food all the time.
Anyway, thanks for all the advice I really appreciate it.
Yeah, I maybe think this chick isn't really your best friend. . .
That said, I have to tell you, when I got my wisdom teeth out, they put me under, and I remember NOTHING. . .then the next day, my roommate who drove me there says, "Susan, when you go back next week to get those stitches out, you need to apologize to that dentist, you need to apologize to his receptionist, and then for good measure, why don't you go ahead and apologize to everyone in the waiting room."
Apparently I am NOT A NICE PERSON when I come out from under anaesthesia!
I, too, have had friends just like that. One in particular comes to mind:
She was my girlfriend's ex. We didn't get along that well at first, but then we really started to bond and hang out all the time. It turned out that she was a very interesting person, and that her and I had lots of deep, intellectual conversations. For awhile, I felt like she was one of the best friends I'd made since moving to Florida.
Then, I realized something:
I've taken her, her girlfriend, AND her friends ALL out to eat several times. Whenever we hung out, 9 times out of 10, I was paying for whatever we did. One time, I was really broke and couldn't afford to pay for her, and she got annoyed and said, "But aren't you loaded?" She has this strange illusion that I'm loaded. I'm not... sometimes, I'm financially well off (I'm a freelance web designer, when business is good, I have $$, but when it's not, I make poverty line money), and I'm always generous with what I have. I bought her two of her piercings. I let her crash at my place when she wanted to go clubbin. I drove her drunk butt home several times and sobered up just to do that because I cared about her and wanted to make sure she didn't get in a wreck.
In short, I noticed I was doing everything for her... and she never gave me anything or did anything for me. She got pissed off at me when I *wouldn't* do things for her, AND she talked crap about me behind my back, saying I "blew up" (she knew me when I first arrived to FL as a skinny mini and saw my weight gain progress) and that I was "a little weird" but she liked hanging out with me because I was "loaded".
The last straw was when she came over to my place at 8 AM unannounced because her girlfriend was taking a test for a job here and she had nothing better do to/wanted someone to hang out with/wanted a place to crash. We hung out and talked, then she called me about an hour after she left, telling me to pick her butt up because she got into a wreck in the parking lot. I decided enough was enough and told her no. She already called AAA and a tow truck was going to arrive, anyway, she was just impatient.
In short... run, girl, run! It's not worth it! If you don't want to run, at least confront her!
I know this sounds childish and stupid I just needed to vent. I'm sorry.
There is only one person being childish in this situation, and it isn't you!
*hugs* I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Sounds as if she's being a total drama queen. Is there anything serious going on in her life that might make her more irritable than usual, or does she always treat you like this? Answer that question honestly, and I think you'll see whether it's worth trying to salvage your friendship or not.
When your best friend turns out to be a stranger
she is being. I hope you feel better and realize that you did nothing wrong.
), and find someone who really loves and supports you like a best friend should. Best of luck!
This has really helped me realize that this friendship wasn't really a friendship after all. I'll be better off without having her negativity in my life. 
