just wondering....do any of you find that ur weight is severely affecting ur sex life?
I mean..my fiance is awesome and i know he loves me no matter what, but on the other hand..its a problem. how do i know if he truly finds me sexy? i feel embarassed in the bedroom...i've resorted to turning the lights off..
any advice? am i just being stupid?
Well, I weigh more than you, but I came from a much higher weight, and yes, it absolutely did have an effect on my sex life. I will say, though, that with weight loss it has gotten a LOT better. I think this has more to do with being more confident, though, than being thinner (although - and i'm going to blush saying this - certain things are easier to do when you don't have as much weight/width going on...and when you have more endurance)
Is there anything you can do to help boost your confidence? Exercise always makes me sort of strut afterwards, especially weight lifting (added bonus - sweat=pheromones, so get your fiance to work out with you!) Buying sexy underthings helped me a lot too.
There is definately a difference in my sex life when i am heavy versus when i am thinner. I dont even feel sexual at my high weights and i wonder how my husband can even get turned on, i tell him, "it must be love, if you can have sex with me this fat", ha ha. But when i was thinner, he did admit sex was better...like Mand said, you can just do more with out all that fat in the way. But at your weight, i would gladly have sex with the lights on, ha ha. Get your confidence on girl.
Ok I am going to just put it right on the table, it really isnt about if I am worried he thinks I am sexy... UGH .. that is kind of obvious LMAO But DAMN I do not want to do it when I am heavier. I can tell a MARKED difference between just 10 lbs lost, and I when I am down to 150 ....DAMN. It is seriously one of the reasons I so need to lose weight! Maybe it is 9 years of marriage, I figure he can go jump off the roof if he doesn't like what he sees. But its more about me, I dont like what I see so I just don't want to be that role. But when I am thin, and even when I am just feeling thin, I feel sexy so I want to do it LOL --Sumi
Speaking on behalf of healthy, red-blooded American males everywhere, I would say that on average a woman's view of her own body and a guy's view of that body are drastically different. There's probably anywhere between a 20 and 50 pound difference (depending on height) as far as what weight the average guy thinks the average girl looks best at. Of course everyone has their personal preferences, but I think on average it plays out this way:
- If a woman looks at her body and thinks: "I look really great."
Most guys would look at her body and think: "She's bony."
- If a woman looks at her body and thinks: "I have a few pounds to lose."
Most guys would look at her body and think: "Is she a gymnast?"
- If a woman looks at her body and thinks: "I'm fat."
Most guys would look at her body and think: "She's sexy."
- If a woman looks at her body and thinks: "I'm disgusting."
Most guys would look at her body and think: "Damn. What I would do to her."
- If a woman looks at her body and thinks: "I'm morbidly obese."
Most guys would look at her body and think: "She's got some dope curves."
- If a woman looks at her body and thinks: "I'm a sideshow freak. I think there is a lost remote-control tucked into one of the folds of my body. When I die they're going to have to knock out a wall to get my body out of here and bury me in a piano crate."
Most guys would look at her body and think: "She's kinda fat. But you know, if I had a couple beers in me..."
What I'm saying is, don't worry about the weight with the fiance, I'm sure he adores you. I don't have a single friend who would think twice about a woman who is 5'6" and 165 pounds. That's ideal to a lot of guys I know and we're just normal guys (not some fat fetishists).
The only thing is if you feel inhibited and unsexy, then that's going to manifest itself and be a turn-off. So, strive to be the weight you feel healthiest and sexiest at for yourself, and I'm sure your fiance will be happy too.
I am WAY more flirtacious when I'm at a lower weight. It definitely impacts how interested I am in the opposite sex. When I feel heavy I'm not interested in how I look, so I figure that other people won't be either.
That's awesome. Deep down i knew that but it is always nice to be reminded of it. I have definetly heard that dating a girl who is obsessive about fat and calories and doesn't eat around guys is a turnoff too. Which is understandable, because i don't like girls like that either. Including me when I find myself being that way.
I am in the same boat. I feel so sucky and huge all the time that I dont enjoy sex like I used to. It's a really big motivation to lose the weight though, to feel sexy agian.
Charles is dead on right! I'm sure your fiance thinks you are hot, hot, hot! And if he's worth his salt he'll always feel that way about you.
From my perspective most women are sexual with their brains and men are sexual with their bodies. Don't over think this. He loves you, he thinks you're sexy. You need to start seeing all the good you're doing for yourself. Try to love the body you have now while you're working on changing it.
Whatever you do DON'T turn off the lights when you two make love. It will make him feel like you aren't confident in yourself and that's not at all sexy. You have to trust him enough to be comfortable with him. After all he chose you because he likes and loves all of you not just your body. Think of it this way... you didn't fall in love with his hair, right? So if you woke up tomorrow morning and all his hair had fallen out you'd be shocked but you'd not stop loving him, right? Give him the respect he deserves by trusting that he really does love you and that he really is OK with your body.
what about sex drives - do u feel they are lowered or more esculated while working so hard to lose weight?
I feel so confident and naked (more than him I believe) but I don't think i get satisfied easily - of course that could be partially cause i am with the wrong person...but alas. what to do what to do.
at my highest weight, i would have to drink to be able to loosen up enough to have sex without wanting to have a panic attack!
as my weight goes down and my confidence increases, i lose some of that. you still better have the lights off! --... but maybe that will change with time.
Sex Lives?!
But DAMN I do not want to do it when I am heavier. I can tell a MARKED difference between just 10 lbs lost, and I when I am down to 150 ....DAMN. It is seriously one of the reasons I so need to lose weight! Maybe it is 9 years of marriage, I figure he can go jump off the roof if he doesn't like what he sees. But its more about me, I dont like what I see so I just don't want to be that role. But when I am thin, and even when I am just feeling thin, I feel sexy so I want to do it LOL 
--Sumi
re: sex lives?
