Hitting 224 on the scale...and these pictures of me stuffing my face from my 21st birthday in March. I am so big...

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d4...ey70/bday3.jpg

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d4...ey70/cake2.jpg

Originally Posted by NightengaleShane:
"There's NO WAY I could POSSIBLY weigh 180!!" Then, after several scales told me I weighed 180, I freaked out and thought, "Crap...I REALLY DO weigh that much!! That's how much my DAD WEIGHS! NO NO! I don't wanna be as big as my DAD!!!"

Yeah..Try weighing 40 lbs more than your dad and being 8 inches shorter. Me= 5'3" and 224...Dad=5'11" and 180 on a bad day LOL. My dad was at my house a few months ago complaining because he'd gained 5 lbs and was up to 180..I almost choked on my soda. Seriously..That was a TERRIBLE feeling. What must he think of me, being so huge??

Originally Posted by sockmonkey70:
Yeah..Try weighing 40 lbs more than your dad and being 8 inches shorter. Me= 5'3" and 224...Dad=5'11" and 180 on a bad day LOL. My dad was at my house a few months ago complaining because he'd gained 5 lbs and was up to 180..I almost choked on my soda. Seriously..That was a TERRIBLE feeling. What must he think of me, being so huge??

You win, you win.

If he's a good, loving dad, then he shouldn't think any less of you for being bigger. :)

My dad hasn't seen me since I moved to Florida, where I gained all my weight. I've postponed family visits several times because I know they remember me being thin and I don't want them to see me fat (stupid, I know... I have self esteem issues, yeah yeah). I actually haven't seen any of my old friends since my weight gain, either. I'm planning a trip back up to the DC area (where I'm from) after I lose ALL my weight... then my dad will NEVER get to see me weighing as much as he does! :lol: oh, and I'm 4-5 inches shorter than him - he's also 5'11". He may weigh 170-175 now that he started half-assed dieting with my mom, who currently weighs less than my GW. :mad: I don't wanna be fatter than my mom, either... she's MOM, and before her crazy diet, she was MOM SIZED!! LOL.

Originally Posted by NightengaleShane:
I've postponed family visits several times because I know they remember me being thin and I don't want them to see me fat (stupid, I know... I have self esteem issues, yeah yeah).

I totally relate. My friends from highschool always want to do stuff with me and I always find some excuse not to go because I don't want them to see how fat I got after I graduated..I DREAD Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Originally Posted by sockmonkey70:
I totally relate. My friends from highschool always want to do stuff with me and I always find some excuse not to go because I don't want them to see how fat I got after I graduated..I DREAD Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Out of curiousity, how much weight DID you gain after high school? I'm about 45-50 pounds fatter, even WITH my 12-pound weight loss. :dizzy:

It wasnt a weight for me. I strated taking prozac. before when I would look at myself in the mirror I would see a very obese person. ( I was 175 at the time) I started taking prozac and one day I looked in the mirror and saw how thin I looked. I think it has to do with prozac working as some sort of eating disorder med.

I liked prozac and it seemed to work for me but I gained weight on it. 25 pounds!!

Originally Posted by NightengaleShane:
Out of curiousity, how much weight DID you gain after high school? I'm about 45-50 pounds fatter, even WITH my 12-pound weight loss. :dizzy:

I was at 175-180 by the time I graduated highschool, but I weighed 120 going into highschool (was at 5'3"). I started gaining the end of sophomore year, as I started developing real boobs and curves(I also started birth control).

This is me from my senior yearbook. I am not tiny here by any means, but certainly not as huge looking as I am now.

http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d4...y70/senior.jpg

Haha, well, is your icon pic recent?

You're very pretty, either way. I've always thought so, even if you're, by your definition, huge. :)

Going into high school, I was what I called huge for myself and myself only. I actually weighed about what I weigh now, BUT I was 2 inches shorter and had weight in ALL the WRONG places - I had a massive gut, love handles, and thunder thighs. I had breasts, but no one knew that because they were hidden among the massive stomach. I had NO butt whatsoever, and a TRIPLE chin. I wasn't pretty, at all... no one had any initial interest in me, and I never even told people I liked that I liked them because I knew I didn't have a chance in ****. SO, I starved myself and made everybody want me while feeling terribly bitter on the inside at the cruelty of the world. Bahahaha. I looked like a Barbie doll from 10th-12th grade - bleached blonde hair, skinny, a huge rack, a fake tan, and lots of very preppy clothes (think Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, AE, A&F, Banana Republic, etc). After high school, I went through a rebellion of sorts, cut off all my hair, got a mohawk, dyed it black, got a bunch of piercings and started a punk band. :p <----so yeeeeah, people from high school hardly recognized me anyway. ;)

just a random blurb here.. but i'm an intern, and i work with these TEENY TINY chinese girls, or some of them look perfectly fine, slender even! i never see them eat, and i ask them "oh, how come you didn't each lunch/dinner today?" and they go, "oh, i'm trying to lose weight." AND they tell me they don't even exercise. man, if they think their 100 lbs bodies are huge, they must think i'm enormous!




i just remembered when i felt the shock another time. just a month ago, my family and i were trying to pack 6 people (including myself) in the car to a BBQ, and usually i squeeze in the back with my mom, cousin, and aunt because we're all slender. but this time, my mom was like, "clara, you should sit in the front since you're bigger now". my sister got mad at her for saying that, and mom just said, "oh, she knows i'm just kidding!". mhmm. thanksss mom. lol

GEEZE, what's up with those super tiny Chinese girls saying they're fat? Must be a DC thing... when I lived in DC, I met all these Asian girls who thought they were fat, when they were really quite petite. I thought, "DAMN... you must think I'm HUMONGOUS! (even AT my DC weight of 115-125 at 5'6 1/2")

I know this one girl who is a model and refuses to exercise because she says it will make her fat and have "too many muscles".

Kate- I work with a girl like that. Her desk is right next to mine and I'm treated to the aromas of her McDonald's breakfast every morning... as she insists she never eats this stuff. She also works out about once a month.

Incidentally, Shane, her and her friends left for lunch yesterday and I heard one of them say, "breakfast is SO bad for you! If you eat breakfast that means that you will be hungry ALL DAY". Kinda made me think of the girl who thinks that working out makes you fat.

Yikes.

Originally Posted by NightengaleShane:
GEEZE, what's up with those super tiny Chinese girls saying they're fat? Must be a DC thing... when I lived in DC, I met all these Asian girls who thought they were fat, when they were really quite petite. I thought, "DAMN... you must think I'm HUMONGOUS! (even AT my DC weight of 115-125 at 5'6 1/2")

I know this one girl who is a model and refuses to exercise because she says it will make her fat and have "too many muscles".

haha, i'm actually interning in china this summer. but actually, you're kinda on..a lot of chinese girls think they're fat, when they're DEFINITELY not. that's so crazy that those asian girls said that about themselves to you!

exercise making someone fat? baloney. heh.

Originally Posted by NightengaleShane:
Haha, well, is your icon pic recent?

You're very pretty, either way. I've always thought so, even if you're, by your definition, huge. :)

Going into high school, I was what I called huge for myself and myself only. I actually weighed about what I weigh now, BUT I was 2 inches shorter and had weight in ALL the WRONG places - I had a massive gut, love handles, and thunder thighs. I had breasts, but no one knew that because they were hidden among the massive stomach. I had NO butt whatsoever, and a TRIPLE chin. I wasn't pretty, at all... no one had any initial interest in me, and I never even told people I liked that I liked them because I knew I didn't have a chance in ****. SO, I starved myself and made everybody want me while feeling terribly bitter on the inside at the cruelty of the world. Bahahaha. I looked like a Barbie doll from 10th-12th grade - bleached blonde hair, skinny, a huge rack, a fake tan, and lots of very preppy clothes (think Lacoste, Ralph Lauren, AE, A&F, Banana Republic, etc). After high school, I went through a rebellion of sorts, cut off all my hair, got a mohawk, dyed it black, got a bunch of piercings and started a punk band. :p <----so yeeeeah, people from high school hardly recognized me anyway. ;)

Awwww you are terribly sweet. Made me feel good LOL. Yes my AV is current. I know I am not huuuge but I just feel like I am not the best me I can be. I miss dressing the way I want to dress because, "Oh they don't carry that in plus size" Annnnywhooooooo.

Isn't funny how fake we can be in highschool? We just try to fit in with people because we have no other options. I went piercing crazy after I graduated too. I had tongue, eyebrow, and nose, but I have taken them all out except my nose ring because I was having a hard time finding a job here in my little southern town LOL.

"I just feel like I am not the best me I can be." I feel the same way, though I'm improving every day. People are asking me, "uhh are you losing weight?" I LOVE BEING ASKED THAT, because it means I'M not the only one who sees it! :D

I actually feel your plight on dressing how you want to dress. I feel like my fashion selections are limited, too, because I don't feel comfortable in most tight clothes (and that's all I used to wear - I liked showing off my body and thought baggy clothes made me look fat). I miss dresses, too... I can't find any dresses these days that flatter me... I used to wear these preppy-ish looking sundresses out, with my notoriously huge sunglasses, but with my spikey/messy/fauxhawk hair and piercings, I looked anything but. I actually made it work. As I probably mentioned before, I also don't want to buy "fat clothes" just to give them away later or sell them on eBay for 1/4 of what I paid for them. The only thing I've shopped for lately is shoes, and hardly, because even if I GET a super cute pair of shoes, what am I going to wear them with?! I have the same 5 outfits in rotation because they're the only fashionable things that look good on me. HOW SAD IS THAT? LOL

My mom forced me to get up on her scale at work...[she's a nurse, and it was one of those super accurate scales, if you know what I mean]...and it was almost 210 pounds...210! And obviously, since this is a hospital scale, you can't just tell yourself "Oh, it's wrong, it's broken"....ouch.