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Old 04-29-2002, 10:33 PM   #7
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Kasas
Posts: 29


Well girls, I got my roses today. They are beautiful...white, and pink tipped. Couldn't have been a better color choice. Pink is my favorite!!

I don't want to bring any of you down, but I need to vent before I explode! I could also use some advice......As you know I've been in my job for 4 years, and I absolutely love my job!!! I work in sales support for a yellow page publisher. My job can be pretty stressful, yet can be very rewarding just knowing I'm helping out my sales people. That is the best part of the job. Now...for the tough immediate manager is my sister-in-law (she was married to my brother that was killed in the accident), when I was promoted to sales support I vowed that I wanted people to know that I worked to get where I am in the company, not because of who my new boss is...and I have managed to do just that for the last 3 1/2 years!!!! My problem is it just seems that it doesn't matter hard hard I work, I am never the one to get the credit for it. I bust my butt to make deadlines, and to keep a positive attitude, but for what? I got the answer to that today when I recieved several very caring comments from my sales reps...One took the time to write me a heartfelt thank you for all I do for him.....BUT...(there's always a but), now that my evaluation is due, my manager (sister-in-law) has me feeling like I'm about to lose my job The big joke around the office when it's about time to go to the Vice President's office for your evaluation, or if he calls you in there for anything is..."Should I bring a box?" Of course meaning to pack your desk....well today I was having a super day up until I got my roses, and my manager read the note from my sales rep......after that she got very nasty and rude....I tried to break the tension by joking around with everyone in my dept. (there are 6 of us total)....Well I asked my manager, after I felt she had eased up a little of course,,,,"Well, should I bring a box when you guys get to my evaluation"...Her reply stabbed right through my heart....She said.."Maybe you should." What does this mean? Girls, I'm mad, I'm confused,I'm hurt, and I'm scared. You see...this job means a lot to me....Before I started working at my present job, I was TOTALLY disabled because of my weight(drawing Social Security because of it)...for 7 years, I couldn't even walk down my driveway and breath when I was done.....I started losing my weight, and when I finally got the confidence, and could breath when doing things, I went looking for a job....This company has been wonderful to me.....Now...I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend......This company cared enough to take a chance on me 4 years ago when nobody else would. (I had never done this kind of work before,,,I had always worked as a Nurse's Assistant).
When I was really losing weight and was down to 261 pounds the CEO actually took the time to stop and compliment me....Are they treating me this way because I'm gaining and back over 300lbs again? That's what it feels like. Or am I being paranoid and blaming my weight for my feelings? I am trying so hard not to turn to food, but I'm getting so weak.....those nutty buddy bars are calling my name.....I don't want to give in to them, but God, I am just feeling sooo weak Maybe this is a hint that I should start looking for something else? Maybe I should ask for a transfer out of the dept. I'm in? I hate to leave my sales reps...Why should I be the one that cares about my job? I just don't know what I'm going to do.

I'm sorry to be such a downer this evening girls...I really am!!! I didn't know where else to turn, then the next thing I know I am running to all of you. Now that I have soaked all your shoulders by crying on them, I better get off here......I think I'm going to go take a hot bath, and go straight to bed....I'm afraid if I don't, I will find my way into the kitchen....and we all know I DON'T need to do that.

Thanks for listening!!
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