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Old 12-05-2007, 02:31 PM   #10
goinforthegold
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Oh Susan, if only I had some words of wisdom for you. I struggle with this so much it sickens me. I feel like it's not normal to care about food and JUNK food, as much as I do. Last night, I was actually plotting my cheat day...I'm not supposed to cheat for 21 days according to the trainer and I gave her my word yet last night...I was plotting a cheat. And not just a cheat meal...an entire cheat/binge DAY. Premeditated and everything. I was even planning how to hide it from DH. *sigh* Not that he cares but I would just be so embarrassed I wouldn't want him to know. How sick is that?

Luckily I feel stronger today and am staying on plan, but I'm supposed to go shopping tomorrow and that's always hardest for me, between all the candy in the stores and the food court...I honestly, honestly, want to cry when I can't have it. For me, right now...the only thing keeping me hanging on by the tiniest little thread is the trainer and the fact that I gave her my word that I wouldn't. My word means nothing to me, but I'm trying to hold onto a little integrity and not become a lier to other people over food. We will see what happens tomorrow. *sigh* I can work my a** off on the exercising, running, lifting weights, over an hour a day, sometimes two...but the eating is my downfall and without getting that in check, I know all the workouts in the world won't get me where I want to be.
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