I walked by the table at lunch and there it was sitting amongst its tray of friends staring at me, yearning for me to pick it up. I took a napkin and chose the one that called out to me. Macadamia, white chocolate cookie. Thankfully, I was full from the lunch I ate but still along with some coworkers I went for it. I took it back to my desk and layed it down nearby.
Work got busy, a few hours passed. One of the girls nearby shouted "I want a cookie". I was reminded of the little napkin bundle sitting next to me. It smelled so comforting and sweet. I moved it closer to me as I continued to work on my projects. It stared at me, I stared back, enticed by its fragrance and the imagined flavor it would have. I picked it up to break it into smaller pieces and the little angel voice in my head said, "DON'T DO IT. DON'T DO IT!!!" Before I could think further, I threw it (literally, threw it) into the garbage can.
Yes!!!! I did it. I didn't eat the cookie. Boy, was that a close one.
I'll have to focus on the little victories because on my way home from work (and I'm hoping it's not because I was feeling deprived about the cookie which was later also tempted by a cheesecake in the kitchen that all my coworkers rushed over to grab... of which, I too did not touch) I decided as a way to "reward" myself for not eating the cookie or the cheesecake I went to the frozen yogurt shop since it's a "healthy" alternative. Lucky me, the frozen yogurt shop only accepted cash and when I looked in my wallet I didn't have any on hand, only my credit cards. So, frozen yogurt was not meant to be but that was freak of nature. Next to the frozen yogurt, though was pizza. PIZZA! Why did there have to be a pizza store next to the frozen yogurt. BAD BAD BAD... tempted by the pizza. By that point, I wasn't even thinking clearly. I should have just gotten in my car and come home but I didn't. I went into automatic pilot (WHY WHY WHY do I get this way) and bought myself a supreme (because it has vegetables... what?!?!?!) large pizza. I came home and was about to put it on the coffee table to eat it but I remembered that when I do that I tend to eat way more than I can stomach, literally! (OH BOY... being more honest than I really ever have been but I'm going to share my story because these are habits I"m trying to rid myself of) So I put the pizza box on the kitchen counter and grabbed myself a small plate (rather than a large dinner plate). The small plate has been a usual practice in attempt to limit my portions but I've also been known to go back for seconds. So, I ate 2 slices. And, like I just said went back for another 2. Oh, yea, and I also got the garlic bread with tomato sauce because it reminded me of when I was a kid and that's what my Mom would get my brothers and I on "special" nights. Weird memory but one that affected my eating tonight. So, I ate a total of 4 slices, plus the garlic bread. I also ate the leftover dessert from last night. So I wonder, if I'd eaten the cookie or cheesecake earlier in the day would I have eaten all of this as well or would I have refrained from stopping at the yogurt shop.
Originally my plan was to go workout after work but then I started thinking about all these other things. Why does this happen? Being in autopilot zone is the worst!
ACK! Need wisdom and guidance on breaking these bad habits and ways to alter my thinking when in autopilot zone.
Hey Julzchiki,
That totally happens to me too. I reject one temptation only to go overboard on another. The worst thing is you just feel so crappy afterwards. Anyways here's a hug for that! When I did (do :P) this, it seemed to be because I was feeling deprived. It also happened way more when I was still eating some of my trigger foods. After I stopped eating sugar and flour products it got much better (mostly:P). Maybe you try some healthier subsitutes for the tastes you feel deprived in? Like if I want a sugary taste, eating sweet green grapes seems to work, and if I want a cheesy pizza taste, I put low fat cheese and tomatoes on a corn torilla and bake it. The whole thing is you should feel good about what you eat. Anyways hang in there! Today is a new day
My affair with the cookie
When I did (do :P) this, it seemed to be because I was feeling deprived. It also happened way more when I was still eating some of my trigger foods. After I stopped eating sugar and flour products it got much better (mostly:P). Maybe you try some healthier subsitutes for the tastes you feel deprived in? Like if I want a sugary taste, eating sweet green grapes seems to work, and if I want a cheesy pizza taste, I put low fat cheese and tomatoes on a corn torilla and bake it. The whole thing is you should feel good about what you eat. Anyways hang in there! Today is a new day
