[SherryA]

My scale this morning is higher than it has been since 2000. I'm within 6 pounds of having gained back everything I lost that year. Just a week or two ago I went back on Atkins and lost so that I was down 15 pounds from that high point, but I didn't stay on it. All the weight loss was in the first week, and the second week, I guess I had started adding in too many things that were "semi" low carb and maybe too much salt or something and so the weight loss stopped.

When that happens I wind up saying to myself "What's the point?" instead of tighteing up on the things I allow.

Right now I'm trying to find the motivation to start again. (for the millionth time it feels like). I don't know why it is, but these boards seem to both help and hurt. I need them, but every time I fail to do what it is that I want so badly to do (or every time I stop really wanting it badly enough) I feel like I'm just stupid for even posting.

Can anyone relate? What does it take to keep ON wanting the weight gone long enough to make it happen? I got to the point where I was watching plastic surgery shows the other day, watching people have their fat sucked out of them. Thinking that would be SO wonderful if it could be that easy. I know that's foolish though, there is too much of it on me.

Help. I need to find the drive. I had it once. I had it for 3 years or more and I lost a lot, but now nearly all of the weight is back and I feel like a fool.

[Azure]

I'm sorry that you're feeling so down, Sherry. It sounds to me like you were really driven to lose it in the past, but you weren't prepared to maintain it. Is Atkins and Low Carb something you feel that you can live with for the long haul? Will Low Carb be your way of life after you achieve all your weight loss? I only ask this because I think that before you ever begin a way of eating, you need to question if it's something you can deal with for the long haul. Losing weight isn't always easy, but maintaining is just as tedious.

I was 210 pounds once (at age 14), I lost 30 and maintained it (at 14), then lost 20 more and maintained it (at age 21), then I spent a year and a half not losing or gaining anything, and now I'm committed to losing the last 20 pounds. The difference this time is that I'm willing to make Low Carb my way of life, I'm no longer viewing it as a temporary solution. I think once you have that in mind, it's easier to be committed and just do it.

No amount of support on a forum is going to keep you on the straight and narrow...it's really the support that you provide yourself inside. The forums are a great place to get support when you're down and to celebrate your victories, but they won't create determination for you. When I joined this site in July, I think, I was lighter by a few pounds than I am now. I've been up and down 5 pounds for over a year. It's only VERY recently that I finally found that peace inside of myself, and the determination to succeed. Dig deep, Sherry...you need to examine yourself inside...what was it that was driving you before? What made you re-gain?

I know you'll be able to figure it out. It took me over a year to figure it out...but now that I have, it's so worth it. I'm not sure if that helped or not...I tend to ramble about things...I hope that it did.

[Puncezilla]

I feel the same way most of the time, When I first started I was so motivated and lost 30 lbs in a few months. now I just can't stick to it and keep losing and gaining the same 5 lbs over again.
I think we just have to keep trying till we find whatever it was that kept us going.
And don't feel stupid for posting , we all go through the same things at some point, thats why we're here.
Even when I'm not on plan, and gaining , comming here and reading what others post keeps me from forgetting its possible and giving up all together.

[pamatga]

Azure said it so well that all I can add is that I too struggled year after year after year. I would lose the same 25 lbs up and down for years. I got embarassed to admit to others that I was "dieting". Who believed me? I didn't BUT I think that something changed this past fall. I casually began to stop eating the homemade fudge that is routinely on my dining room table and I lost 9 lbs in 2 weeks! Then, I thought, "Hey, what could I lose if I actually really TRIED" to lose weight". I went on the web looking for some information on dieting and I STUMBLED onto this website!! I spent almost twelve hours pouring over everything. I was up until 2 am that night. I feel that was "Divine Providence"'s hand guiding me here.

What has changed?
1) I made a vow to be dead honest with myself and others!
2) I am going to keep on and keep on no matter how long it takes (and I have over 100 lbs to lose)
3)This is NOT the first time I have dieted but it is going to be the LAST time I diet! (even if it takes five years or longer to lose all of this extra weight)
4)I am going to be open to learning from all of you, including yourself, and apply it. For example, I am not a big water drinker but right now there is a bottle of water sitting next to my computer. I'm back in school and I am here to learn and apply what I learn. If it doesn't work, then I will try something else until it does.

Keep the faith, sweeties, it is only down hill from here on in.

[FitinTime]

Hi Sherry,

Boy, I know how you feel. It's like when is this rollercoaster going to stop, I want to get off!!!

When I first started, I was 243. I knew I was getting up there and did not want to get to 250, but at the same time I wasn't doing anything about it.

It wasn't until my younger sister asked me if I wanted to start Atkins with her, I caustiously said yes, but thought maybe this will be good now that I have someone near, to do this with me.

I tried Atkins in the past and lost some weight but of course gained it back. But this time for some reason, was different. It was as if something clicked inside me. As corny as this may seem, my body was finally in sync with my mind and soul and I wanted to lose the weight. I have never had this happen to me before on any other way of eating.

So as of April this year, I've lost 38lbs. I'm not in a hurry, I'm allowing my body to do it's thing and lose weight in it's own time. I don't think about tomorrow, I just take of today, because there is enough to take care of today without worrying about tomorrow, right.

For me that was the key, to take it one day at a time!

What Azure and Punce said are very good advice and very heartfelt!

I would just encourage you, as Azure said and look inside yourself to see if this is what you want, if low carb is for you and know that this will take time. Don't rush yourself into losing weight.
Enjoy the journey and like Punce said, keep trying to see what works. Just know that you can share your feelings with us. Even start a journal, sometimes that helps too.
Just don't give up, you did once, you can do it again!

We are all in the same place and we love to encourage one another. Consider us your weight loss buddies!

Take Care Sherry!!!
diana

[aud]

Hi Sherry! I was wondering about you just the other day!

Does it help to know that I know exactly how you feel?

And have felt that way myself?

If you remember, I vanished from here from about March to July . . . yeah, I felt foolish to just keep Posting and also a bit ashamed. I also didn't want to be accountable for my choices so it was just ez'ier to B-Gone, ya know?

Got up to my highest weight EVAH during that time - 248 - something about approaching that "50" mark (weight AND age) did it for me. Just clicked in.

I decided to come back here and Post away - the Good/theBad & Ugly - to return to a "diet" that makes me feel good and I think I can live with - surrounded by cyber buds, ya know?

Lots of good advice in here . . . hope to see you around more regardless!

[The gramma]

Been there, done that. Am there, doing that . . . again. I can't say it's nice to know there are others out there going through the same, but I can say I appreciate the empathy. I am going to keep at this until I figure it out. I am glad you are all here trying to do the same.

Hang in there girls!

Divided-we fall

[SherryA]

Thank you guys so much. Something clicked years ago. I know what it was, I saw the scale reach a shockingly high number and it occurred to me that if I kept going I was going to be over 300 pounds! I just didn't want to go there. I still don't. Now it is that I don't want to find that I've gained back ALL the weight I lost and I don't want to have to buy larger clothes (while my smaller size clothes are waiting in the closet for me to get back into them). But the "click" just hasn't happened yet. I think it is harder this time because the time I did it before I really believed that I could lose all the weight and get back to where I wanted to be. Now I'm not so convinced that can happen. I truly believe I could lose about 50 or 60 pounds if I put my mind to it and was consistent enough. But the idea of taking off a hundred or more just doesn't seem possible.

I've got to find within me some motivation. some belief, some strong desire to really lose this weight and so far I haven't found a reason strong enough to pull me through the hard times. The closet containing so many clothes I can't wear right now should do it, but so far has not. Hubby doesn't care hor fat or thin I am, and seems to be inconvenienced by me when I low carb. But that isn't my reason for not doing it. I was just going to "take a day off" and that day turned into many. That is my downfall I guess, thinking I can take a day only off. When I start again I'll have to remind myself of that.

[Leenie]

Sherry