And I just need to vent. Between work and life and not sleeping and large expensive things breaking and everything just sucking I'm wondering how I'm going to make it through the day let alone the rest of the week. My car is my worst nightmare...I am so done with everything going wrong with it that it actually makes me physically ill to think about. My toilet broke and as it turns out all the plumbing in my apartment was done about 30 years ago buy the previous homeowner so it's a total gerry-rig job and needs to all be replaced in order to replace the busted toilet. I'm just having that feeling where you feel like you are spiraling out of control further down the rabbit hole and the more you try to get ahead the further back you end up.
I've been doing well so far...this hasn't driven me to food yet... I've been successful at the gym the past 2 nights but my body is so tired from working out and long days and not sleeping that I feel like a zombie just going through the motions. It's to the point where i felt like i needed a scotch with a caffeine chaser before 8am....of corse I didn't have one but that was the feeling and it wasn't good.
I'm actually sitting at my desk, my eyes are burning so badly, eating my healthy lunch trying to fight off the urge to smoke and eat chocolate feeling the surge of tears welling up...and I don't cry. And even if I was to cry i can't do that here....the boss doesn't get to cry in the office in front of her assistant... who is a saint for putting up with me by the way....if I feel bad for anyone it's that poor soul. I just don't understand how my week could start off so good on Monday with re-discovered motivation and a successful analysis of my year and have me feeling like jumping off a cliff by Wednesday.
I just need to make it to Friday... 2 more days then I can try to rejuvenate again. And I just needed to get this all out there before it steamrolled me into nervous breakdown...or worse a binge.
Gosh... when you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on! This will pass, really, it will! Can you go for a walk or something after your healthy lunch, just to change your state of mind? Hang in there! You can make it!
Sunshine, you really are having a rough time. Sometimes, life just gets in the way of our progress! Just try to remember, this too shall pass. Hang in there.
God forbid everything doesn't go wrong at once. My two cents worth of experience in this situation says to hold onto your food and exercise plan for all its worth. When you can't control anything else, you can control what you do.
My husband recently had a very scary "get your affairs in order" health scare. After weeks of testing, everything turned out fine but I learned that to keep myself together under all the stress that stayng on-plan was the one thing I could do to keep from going crazy.
I hope things settle down for you; it's amazing how out of whack things can get so quickly.
I read an article once about the different ways men and women handle frustration, and how the business world is oriented to view one as OK and one as not ok. Men yell and get angry when they are frustrated. Now, bosses that yell all the time obviously aren't anyone's favorite, but it is acceptable in a business sense to get angry from time to time. Women tend to cry when they get frustrated. Because the business world is so male-oriented, crying is considered unprofessional, while the once-in-a-while yelling breakdown is not. Something to consider. If I feel tears coming on and can't control them at work, I cry in the bathroom. Bring makeup with you for a touchup afterward. Having feelings is OK, even if they are frowned upon in the workplace, and sometimes fighting them makes it worse.
Bad times pass. Rough days end. Take a few deep breaths, remind yourself that times suck sometimes, and you've had bad times before and gotten through them, just as you will do this time.
And keep up that resolve not to turn to food! I don't know if this is your sort of thing, but you might try getting some exercise in. I remember one time I was having a HORRIBLE work day, on the verge of tears, just having a mess of a time...I took my lunch break and powerwalked while crying. When I came back in, I was recharged and ready to finish out the day.
I am sorry things are going so bad, you need a good rest it sounds like. Are you taking vitamins? It sounds like you need some. Before you know it things will get better.
cheryl
I'm sorry Sunshine! I don't why all terrible things seem to happen at once, but it's so true. Are you responsible for your fixing your plumbing or is there a landlord? If so, I wonder if there is anyway there is insurance to get you a hotel until it's fixed? I'm grasping at straws, but a friend of mine had a similar situation and they put her in a hotel since the apartment was "uninhabitable" without running water.
Regardless, this sucks and you have a right to be overwhelmed. Try to prioritize the catastrophies and work on the most dire ones first. It's hard to focus on all of them at once and make headway. As for the crying - I say let it out. You might feel better. I used to manage close to 20 people and I would totally do what Mandalinn says: cry in the bathroom. No one had to see and I'd let it all out. Hang in there...
I'm sorry your having a rough week. It seems like when it rains it pours lately. Thank you God for tomorrows.....that is a phrase I have used lately. I hope things get better for you!
It sucks when things don't go our way, and yeah it always seems to pile on all at once. It's like "I'm down already, no need for more guys to jump on".
I've had a lot of car issues lately, replacing things, and then with bills coming up, a lot of financial heartache. We've all been there. If you feel like taking some time alone to cry it out, go for it. You may feel better.
You can thrive through this.
PS - You should feel very proud of yourself for not turning to food!
I am so over this week
