I lost my resolve :(
I recently hit 60 days of abstinence just to throw it out the window. I'm not bingeing, but it does seem as if I'm testing myself by eating a bit of food off my food plan. A few days ago, it was two hershey kisses. This was the first bite of sugar I had in over 60 days. The day after, it was a very small piece of birthday cake. I told myself it was my bday and I deserved it. Thing is, it wasn't even a kind I like or really wanted. Then, today, it was a white pita instead of my usual whole wheat (first white flour I had!).
I don't know why all of a sudden I seem not to care. I'm not bingeing and I don't feel like I'm eating emotionally, but I just feel like I'm entitled to eat these things. I don't necessarily feel really guilty afterwards, but I know that physically I'm feeling a bit off because I've been eating that way.
So, I guess I'm back to day 1 with abstinence. It really sucks. I'm feeling a bit defeated and really having to push myself to do assignments, call people, and go to meetings right now. If anyone else found themselves in this position, or started going back to their old ways, please share any suggestions for how I can get myself back on track.
Thanks!
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