Going on a date! Scared! - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

annk · 08-01-2007, 04:29 PM

Okay, so I'm going out on a date this Saturday. As this is the 21st century, we met, where else? on Eharmony.

I'm nervous! We've seen each other's face pictures and e-mailed back and forth for a couple weeks but I'm nervous that he'll see the full-figured me and be disappointed.

I don't know what I'm expecting all of you wonderful ladies to tell me but has anyone else done the on-line dating thing and experienced the same jitters? And how did it work out? Share your stories, even if they're bad! It's so hard for me to get the confidence to go out with guys so I guess I put a lot of stake in something as simple as a first-meeting.

Thanks in advance for your support!!! And think of me this Saturday!!!

Ann K.

MAMA2CHUNKEYMONKEY · 08-01-2007, 04:32 PM

If he's seen 'actual' pictures of you, then you should have nothing to worry about. Maybe sneak in the question 'so, what kind of women are you typically attracted to?' somewhere in conversation where it isn't so obvious. Maybe he likes more shapely women!

I met my husband online (not on a dating site.. it was a random occurence when I was looking for someone else) and we're married with an adorable little girl.

2Fat4myJeans · 08-01-2007, 04:47 PM

I set my brother up on eHarmony and he met his wife on there (they were just married two weeks ago!)

I totally understand your fears, but if you have exchanged pictures, then just work on relaxing and being yourself! I hope you have a great time....how exciting!

Jasmine31 · 08-01-2007, 04:54 PM

I met my dh online to and it was NOT a dating site. It was a message board. I showed him the pics of me before we met and he knew I was heavy and he didn't care.

Just be honest.

gailr42 · 08-01-2007, 05:02 PM

My son has friends who not only met on eharmony, they are in one of the tv commercials! Sorry I don't know which ones they are. Good luck to you!

kaplods · 08-01-2007, 06:05 PM

I met my husband through a personal ad I placed in our local newspaper and the newspapers website (where I could post a photo, and a longer bio). When we met, I was around 385 or 390, and hubby was somewhere between 330 - 360 (I found out later he consistently tends to underestimate his weight by at least 20 lbs).

I had almost given up on the personal ad idea, as even though I wrote that I wanted a long-term serious relationship, almost everyone I met through the ad wanted a "test drive" on the first date, and I'm just very old-fashioned in that respect. On our first date, hubby was very sweet and at the end of the evening I was kind of waiting to see if he would give me a small kiss or hug, and he completely misinterpreted thinking I wanted to stay the night and he politely told me he thought it was too soon to rush into anything! Yikes, I was so embarassed, and thought he would never call me again. By the time I got home that night he called, and we talked for 3 hours and laughed at the misunderstanding!

We are both very ample people, and I think we were both afraid that the other couldn't really be happy with how we really looked. When it finally did come around for "nekkid" time, we were so shy and embarassed, it was silly. I mean, if you see a person in clothes, you have a fairly decent idea of what they're going to look like without them.

I think you'll be fine. Just relax and have fun.

fatburner77 · 08-01-2007, 06:13 PM

Hi! I adore that site, since I dated one guy from there for a year and another is my current boyfriend! Even when dates didn't "work out," using a site like eHarmony really aids in honing one's dating skills, and you become very proficient at making conversation, etc.
As far as expectations are concerned, I've found that it's best when your pics portray your actual self as much as possible -- and this, for me, meant that to be fair, I always posted a full-body shot in addition to other pics. I asked the same of my matches. I was disappointed, for example, when a man woud only post pics of himself wearing a baseball cap, and I'd meet him in a restaurant and he'd be...yep, completely bald!
Have a wonderful time Saturday! Enjoy getting to learn about a new person.

WinterStarzz · 08-01-2007, 06:33 PM

My hubby and I met online, but it wasn't through a dating site. Just be honest, and don't be TOO nervous. I know that's easier said than done.

Be yourself, and see how things go. Let us know!!!

leah_0600 · 08-01-2007, 06:39 PM

i'm not doing the online dating thing.... but i am on a date tomorrow! and i am actually pooing myself... i mean, i don't like the way i look at the moment so how is he going to?? i wish i could muster some self- esteem... if only just for one night!!! Good luck Ann, do us proud!!

charolastra00 · 08-02-2007, 12:22 AM

Eharmony says I'm unmatchable- I wonder what that says about my personality! :P

I've done a lot of dating online either via random perchance meeting from a message board (one led to a long term, long distance relationship of 3 years and I'm finally going out to Nebraska to see him in his "home habitat" in a few weeks after years of him coming to me!) or OKCupid. At first it was TERRIFYING being a larger girl, but I know I have something a lot of the fluffy lala girls on those sites don't- PERSONALITY!

I once asked a guy at the end of a really nice date why nice, attractive guys like him don't ask out bigger girls on the subway or at a bar or whathaveyou. He said often we are SO USED to being treated like crap for our size, that we put up a wall when approached romantically to not get hurt. He thought it was as if we were always afraid someone was playing a cruel joke. As hard as it is to get over that, it's something I'm determined to do!

The only bad story I have is this one guy who it was obvious he was using the internet to assauge his fears of social contact. Normally people I've met off of dating sites and forums (like this guy) have been just that, normal. This poor guy was so ridiculously antisocial that it was painful. I just wanted to give him a big hug! But I was afraid that would give him the wrong idea :P All of my other experiences have been absolutely delightful- at least for the first date!

Skittlez · 08-03-2007, 01:49 PM

I too met my current boyfriend online. He lived a fair ways away though so after talking online for three months he drove halfway across the country to meet me (he doesn't like planes too much, fear of heights :-P). Two months later he moved in with me, and we're still going strong. About to celebrate our year anniversary next month.

I was so nervous when I first met him, it's hard to be yourself when you think they may have some preconcieved notion of how you are in real life that may be totally different from how you really are. Just be yourself, online and off, and you never know what could happen.

EZMONEY · 08-03-2007, 02:00 PM

Have a GREAT date ANN! My sister in law met her husband on a dating site and my brother in law met his wife the same way. I met Angie through a personal ad in a christian newspaper (before the computer dating). It is never easy...just be yourself! My prayers are with you!

FrouFrou · 08-06-2007, 02:26 PM

Just wondering how your date went?

StillTryin · 08-06-2007, 03:26 PM

YEAH I AM CURIOUS ALSO!!! Maybe they ran off together!!!!

MaNdA22 · 08-07-2007, 09:54 AM

I'm anxious to hear how it went also