[kelema]

Hey y'all, I have a bit of a problem, and I was wondering if the lovely ladies on this board would be willing to help me puzzle out a solution.
Though I'm at a healthy weight now, I've noticed a slightly frightening pattern to my weight control.
First of all, my boyfriend/bestfriend/rock-to-lean-on is going to get his vet degree in Colorado. COLORADO. Which is basically on the opposite side of the world from Boston. Furthermore, my brother is moving to Washington state to take a job offer.

So basically, these two men move in and out of my lives frequently. That's not the problem, though it is very distressing and I miss them very much. The real problem is my eating habits when they leave. As soon as they leave, I tend to over-eat any sugary, fattening foods I can find, for no reason other than simply because I'm filling the void they left behind.
As if that wasn't bad enough, after I gain weight from all the food, when I hear that they're coming back home for winter or summer break, I become a weight-loss machine. Though I don't starve myself, I do lose a lot of weight. Sometimes too much, and I get down to approx 112. 112 may not sound too low, but I'm probably close to 5'8" and 112 is definitely NOT a healthy weight.

Right now I've managed to maintain a decent, healthy balance, but I'm frightened this balance will be disrupted as soon as either of them come home! Are there any strategies to keep this weight fluctuation at bay? I just want to be able to stay solid at a healthy weight.

Sorry if this is self-indulgent or whiny, but I'm just feeling very frustrated with the whole situation.

[msnewbooty]

I do the same exact thing...so I'm interested to see what kind of responses you get. I think when most people think of "emotional" eating...they assume it's always "you get depressed and you pig out until you think you feel better". They tend to forget that it goes both ways. I'll have weeks where I feel great and I'm happy with myself and the world around me and I simply don't bother to stop and eat - maybe having one meal a day. That is just as unhealthy as depressive binging.

So, youre not alone And I can relate to not having those you love around you. Hopefully we can all figure out what works for us and what works for our bodies.

[kelema]

Msnewbooty

I really think people sometimes think weightloss is ALWAYS good when you're overweight. Yes, weightloss is good when you're overweight, but not when you lose weight like I do. It's always unhealthy to have a large weight change in a short amount of time, whether one is gaining or losing.

It really does make me feel better to know that I'm not a freak, and that other people feel the same way.

[JayEll]

Hey there!

I have a theory about this... and feel free to take it or leave it!

You have made those men in your life the "caretakers" of your eating habits and weight. When they leave, you are "free" to finally eat what you want, and away you go. When they are coming back, it's like "uh-oh, the police!" and you start into the diet-machine mode.

It's the same kind of pattern that kids get into with parents. Be good when the parents are there, act out when they are not.

So, I'd say the key might be to become the main focus of your own life. Figure out how you want to eat to be most healthy. Become your own caretaker, in other words, and eat to please yourself by eating healthy foods that are good for you. Stop putting it on them, because that's what it amounts to. It's not good always to be looking to externals to control your behavior.

Well, that's my 2 cents. Think about it anyway.

Good luck!

Jay

[Janie Canuck]

Kelema, I so hear you. I have a really good book called "Fit from Within" by Victoria Moran. She's a recovered binge eater. The book is about attaining/maintaining a healthy weight through reasonable lifestyle changes, not dieting. She asserts that the backside of any diet is binge eating, so her whole focus is on developing a normal relationship with food, not a restrictive one. Might be a helpful read.

[kelema]

Jay- You know, I think that's one of the most reasonable responses. It really does sound like me, heehee. My boyfriend is in excellent shape, so when he's home we workout together or whatever. When he goes away, I'm like "Okay, time to be lazy!". I really need to stop with that routine of self-destruction.

Janie-
I've heard people talking about that book but I still haven't read it yet! I'm going to look for it at my library.