[SwimGirl]

I don't know where to post this... but I just can't keep everything bottled up much longer! I might explode!!

So christmas is coming, and my family is coming to Vancouver from Eastern Canada and the USA. But half of them haven't made their travel arrangements! And those who have aren't planning to get here until the 24th, so I have to do ALL the shopping by myself, all the cleaning, there is just SO much to do and everyone is so concerned about themselves they haven't stopped to think about me. I'm super stressed out, expecting me to do more and more each day. Not to mention everything that needs to be paid for, I just started a new job so I'm not exactly making tons of money right now either.

I just wanna slap everyone!!!!!!!! I'd like to just call off christmas and spend the day in bed away from everyone.

The other GREAT part was that my bro and his gf came here for the weekend, to do shopping but were SO indecisive and said they wanted my help but said all my ideas sucked (which they totally didn't, I know my family really well). The icing on that cake was when my bro's gf wanted me to take her shoe shopping, but the shoes couldn't be pointy-toed, or square toed, or high heels, or flats, or kitten heels, and had to be black, with sparkle on them, and not too wide. To top *that* off? She wouldn't try anything on that wasn't the same size as her runners, size 11. How does a GIRL not know that every single pair of shoes fits differently? I have everything from a size 8 to a size 10!

Phew... thats my rant... thanks for listening. Advice on how to deal with everyone would be nicely recieved

-Aimee

[Jasmine31]

Hang in there chickie! My advice since you are short on cash, if it is like your mom and dad coming I would ask them for help. Tell them you are barely making it and are happy to have all them come but are strapped for time and money for food. You know they won't have time to help you prepare after their long flight and all. You want to get one of those holiday turkey platters with food on the side that would be convenient for every body! Ask if they can chip in!!

As far as the gf, be glad that they don't live closer!!

[drake3272004]

Sorry, no advice, but wanted to wish you GOOOOOOOOD LUCK! Take time for yourself and breathe deep!

[Mummy_Tummy]

I'd ask everyone to send you some money upfront for the shopping. That's how we normally do it. It's sort of standard procedure that whoever is hosting gets to do the shopping, decide the menu, whatever but if you have all decided to split the costs, I'd maybe ask your mother to do the phoning for you to ask for some cash in advance.

Also, is everyone aware that they're meant to split costs? I think some people assume if they've been invited somewhere that the host will provide the meal. It's best to clarify all the un-Christmasy details in advance!

As for shoes, the GF does sound pretty picky but then, all of my shoes are the same size! Hope you're feeling better and don't allow the stress to ruin your holidays! Deep breaths...deep breaths...

[silverbirch]

Some good suggestions above. Getting money upfront sounds a good idea. And concentrate on breathing.

Lovely new avatar! And I've been meaning to tell you for ages that I always read your posts!

[Misti in Seattle]

My friends used to have a bunch of us over every Christmas... starting with breakfast and going through late into the night. The hostess made a list of all the tasks for the day and divided them up and let us know in advance what our "job" was. Then we could all have fun, not get in each other's way and not wonder when we should or should not be offering to help. It also included bringing stuff for lunch or breakfast, although they provided the main meal. We even had someone assigned to bring paper plates for lunch. In your case it sounds as if it would have to be $$$ rather than bring stuff, but I think you need to let that be known when the invitation is sent. It would never occur to me to offer $$$ to someone when they invited me to their house for a meal unless they let me know.... I would consider it an insult to offer $$$$, though I would offer to bring something and if they turned that down I would take a hostess gift.

It sounds like perhaps you need to learn to say "no" occasionally (regarding the shoes) but I too would never try on a size 8 shoe, for example, when I know I wear at least a 9.

[SwimGirl]

Thanks everyone for the advice, I think I will get my mother to do some phone calling for some money to be sent. Here's the weirdest part, while everyone is actually coming to MY city, I'm not actually doing christmas at my house. It's weird how it'll all end up working out, my aunt will be doing the dinner at the place where nearly everyone is staying.

I'm telling yah my family is so weird sometimes! It was decided in August by my aunt and mom that we'd be doing christmas here, except that the bf and I are living in a bach. suite while saving for a condo. So they decided that I would move Dec 1st into a 2 bedroom place so everyone could fit, they only thing they didn't realize that we aren't exactly able to save for our condo and pay 2,000 for a 2 bedroom basement suite at the same time. I'm definitely willing to put owning on the back burner for a while, but 2,000 a month (which is the cheapest I could find) would require me to work 2 jobs.

The thing thats stressing me out I suppose is that no one is even thinking about whats going on at my end, everyone knows I'm now working 6 days a week at my one job to pull off the financial end of things. Working semi-retail at christmas is stressful in itself!

As for the brother's gf - I did some thinking about why it was so frustrating for me. It was because she specifically asked for my help with shopping, but was completely unwilling to do anything but tell me my ideas were crap. Not even a thank-you for spending 8 hours trying to find her shoes and a top.

I always thought shoes were like clothes, everything fits differently. I have a pair of heels in a 9, a puma fits me small so I bought a 10, and then found that converse fit big and went down to an 8.5. Weird.

silverbirch - thank you! I should have zoomed in a tiny bit more - less shoulders more head. I often wondered if people follow me around the board to see what I'm posting - I know I do that to others!! Now I know... and am definitely flattered!

-Aimee