Weight Loss and Body Perception - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Alora199 · 11-29-2006, 12:34 PM

I've read other threads that touched on this subject but I'm still bothered by something. When I was severely overweight for my height.. 180 at 5'2 I was basically living in denial. I knew I was overweight but I never considered myself "fat". I wore a size 14 and in the mirror I would think.. "not bad". Although I wanted to be thinner I was comfortable in my own skin. It wasn't until I would look at pictures or home movies that I would gasp! "Am I really that big?" "Look at all those rolls!" "THree chins???"... etc. My weight gain never bothered my hubby, though I was 130 lbs when we met. Now that I am back down into the 130's I find myself more critical of how I look. It's almost as if I view myself larger now than I was then if that makes any sense. Clothing wise I am down to a size 8 and I'm happy with that.. however now when I look in the mirror I get fixated on all my jiggly parts, cellulite and I hate it! Why do we do t his to ourselves??? I often wonder if I'll ever be completely happy with myself.......

Lovestorun · 11-29-2006, 12:53 PM

I am so with you girl on this. It was exactly the same way for me.
my highest was 185 (that I know of) and now that I am getting to my
goal I am constantly looking at myself and picking out all my faults.
Hopfully someday I will be happy

Jasmine31 · 11-29-2006, 01:14 PM

I am the same way. When I hit 215 I felt fatter than I had when I was 280! When I had hit 235 i was so proud of myself and thought I looked great. haha I am now down to 213.5 and notice areas are trimming up nicely like my waist so I am getting happy again!

sierra_ttw · 11-29-2006, 10:38 PM

I totally understand - I was looking at my bathing suit the other day - a very revealing bikini, thinking that there was no way I was going to wear this thing in a month, and then realized that I wore it when I was almost 190 lb! I was completely in denial about how I looked - and I'm WAY more critical of myself now.

Nikaia · 11-29-2006, 10:59 PM

I think it's because we're so out of touch with our bodies. That's why we get fat in the first place. The process of losing weight brings us back into contact with our bodies, and so we can't help but see all the things we never saw when we were absent from our physicality.

flxthct107 · 11-30-2006, 12:01 AM

I TOTALLY understand. I am way more critical of my weight now. I tell others this and they think I am crazy. I never have an explanation for it either. I agree that it could be that we are more in touch with our bodies.

SlimmingWorldChick · 11-30-2006, 07:35 AM

IU think this is sooo true, my body is changing and everyone around me can see it but i look the same to me now as i did back then just my clothes are smaller...Strange isn't it...i even have girls who are jealous of my figure and i dont understand it...I'm like ive still got almost 18 pounds to loose..

Cheercoach · 11-30-2006, 11:52 AM

This is a sickness that I also share. But beware, cause it can take you to some very scary places. My problem is that I look in the mirror and still see some one hugely overweight. Which SUCKS! I actually felt better and more confident at 230 than at 136. Go figure. To make myself feel better, I get dolled up and go somewhere...by yourself. Watch for people to look at you (men of course). It always makes me feel better cause I know at 230 lbs, no one was lookin my way! LOL!

If you need to talk though, feel free to PM me.

lilybelle · 11-30-2006, 12:12 PM

I can relate. I caught an unflattering glimpse of myself in a store window the other day. I saw about a 1" lower tummy roll. It bothered me so much. I know that at 234 lbs. that I must have had huge rolls and I guess I just didn't look then. I nitpick at every little flaw, where before I was just blissfully ignorant of them. Also, my breasts are saggy and it bothers me. They were huge and saggy before losing weight and it didn't bother me as much then as it does now.

Sunnigummi · 11-30-2006, 12:34 PM

Yesterday I wore this black shirt that I thought was flattering. When I was teaching, I happened to look down and noticed that I also had this 2" tummy roll (below my belly button). I hate that roll so much. Granted, it used to be a lot of belly jelly, but now I find myself thinking "if I could just find a good plastic surgeon to cut it off, I would be happy with my tummy." But then I think, "no it will probably never be enough."

I'm hoping when I get back down to where I'm supposed to be, it will magically disappear.

Gogirl008 · 11-30-2006, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikaia

I think it's because we're so out of touch with our bodies. That's why we get fat in the first place. The process of losing weight brings us back into contact with our bodies, and so we can't help but see all the things we never saw when we were absent from our physicality.

I totally think this is it, at least for me. We live in a sort of denial when we are eating to our hearts content. It's when we see there is a problem that we start to pay attention and address the weight issue. I guess though, there must be some kind of balance between improving ones self and self-acceptance. I hope we all can find that place!

Celesteral · 11-30-2006, 01:02 PM

I remember being in denial about the weight for a long time, hence my avoiding mirrors and cameras. I can't believe I let my body get into that shape and ignored the PCOS and everything else. bleh bleh bleh

However, even though I have goals, I must remember to love my body now. I've lost 70 pounds and things are flabby and jiggle more than when I was 310and it annoys me and makes me feel insecure. But, remembering that I am healthier now and more active and even more comfortable in my body even though I still weigh 240 pounds is the most important thing.

If I focus too much on my physical flaws, I miss out on enjoying living in this moment. If I don't enjoy this moment and only focus on the 'when I will be skinny' moments in the distant future, then I miss out on enjoying every moment of my life between now and when I reach that goal.

I try to focus on that. It can be difficult. I went out walking/jogging today and yesterday. I was the only overweight person out exercising in this area and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I still did it though. I figure if I can keep exercising every day, then one day I won't stick out so much. hehe

Alora199 · 11-30-2006, 01:47 PM

Thanks guys for sharing your stories with me.. I honestly felt like I was the only one who felt like this and was just being super silly over the whole thing. The part about where even though your clothes are smaller you still feel the same size hits home with me as well. I do feel better about myself mentally but physically I'm still not there. Maybe one of these days I can find that "balance".

Ready2ShedLBS · 12-02-2006, 08:02 PM

I seriously think I have some sort of body dismorphia. No kidding. Because I too never saw HUGE when I was huge, I just knew I was bigger than other girls.. but I thought I was just sooooo hot. Now.. I notice every bulge, jiggle ect. I work out so hard it feels like my job sometimes, and its an addiction that I try hard to control. I literally *have* to work out. I know.. realistically the workout police will not come get me, but i WILL have myself to answer too, and I cant run from me. Now.. I dont exercise for hours on end, at the most an hour and 1/2 and thats rare, I am more consistant at 45 mins to an hour daily. Some weeks I take a day of sometimes I dont. Its just I know if I fall of track I will lose all of the tone, and definition I have worked so hard to get and I just cant fathom that. Ugh. Anyways.. I will NEVER revisit 260lbs again.. but back on to my original point.. I am very hard on myself, and look at myself at every angle before I leave the house, and sometimes I change a couple times because the clothes "make me look fat" Ughhhhhh.. I want to relax, but I am scared to relax. lol

ennay · 12-04-2006, 04:46 PM

Yeah, I never think I look fat in a mirror, and then I see a picture. I honestly can not see a difference in a mirror between what I look like now and what I looked like before I got pg. But I am just squeezing into a 14 now and I was easy in a 10 then. I can see the difference in photos, but I wasnt happy with my body in a 10 either. (Liked it in a mirror, not in a photo)

And I do worry that it will get worse because all my skinny friends think THEY are fat. How can a 5'9, 120 lb girl think she is FAT. So I worry about what I will think when I get to goal...will it be good enough?