By getting to the root of why you overeat in the first place! "Why Weight," written by Geneen Roth, is a non-diet book that contains exercises designed to help compulsive eaters learn how to stop using food as a substitute for handling difficult emotions or situations. You'll also learn how to enjoy eating and still lose weight naturally. This program offers reassuring guidelines on:
-- kicking the scale-watching habit forever
-- learning to say no
-- discovering other pleasures besides food
-- learning the difference between physical and emotional hunger
-- listening to and trusting your body's hunger and fullness signals
Each week at least one exercise will be posted and you are encouraged to share your answers, thoughts, etc..
Please share any insight, ideas, articles or other information that you may have.
A more compassionate belief would be that I am trying to express a feeling that I don’t know how to acknowledge directly.
2. I believe that binges are sick, pathetic, out of control.
A more compassionate belief would be that I should learn what feeling I have suppressed by bingeing.
3. I believe that the reason I binge is that I feel weak.
A more compassionate belief would be that I don’t have the emotional tools to deal with what is going on.
4. I believe that after a binge, I should throw up.
A more compassionate belief would be that I should learn from this. I don’t mean physically throw up but the image that came to mind was “throwing up” what is inside of me from my feet on up.
5. The next time I binge, I am going to be gentle with myself and listen to my emotions.
6. On the day after I binge, I am going to be kind to myself and hmmm, try to figure out the emotions I need to handle that caused the binge.
I really like what you posted, LLB. I'm not sure what the exercise is, but your post greatly resonates with me.
For a number of years, I experienced bullemia, and the first statements made in the post are a textbook study of what that feels like. The "more compassionate" reframing of the statements are close to the conclusions I eventually came to and tend to represent the attitude I now bring to my not infrequent binges (which are nothing compared to the ones I had when suffering an eating disorder).
Nowadays I'm genuinely not too bothered when I binge because this exact process of reframing and analyzing has given me insight into the fact that I KNOW I'll eventually return to a state of control. Sometimes it takes awhile, but I get there.
(Of course, there are those who believe that this control itself is an eating disorder, but if so, it's one that has allowed me to lose 100 pounds and more or less keep it off for several years.)
If I were to reframe Statement #2 in your post, I'd add something to what you said (which I agree with). I believe binges ARE a result of some kind of supression, but I also get an inkling that they are often physical in nature, e.g., a response to some physical craving brought on by some missing nutrient or imbalance in the body. (As when my intense assorted cravings disappeared when I ate meat for the first time in years, which possibly could be attributed to low iron or B12 stores or some other factor).
BTW, I still have cravings for dairy and soymilk, which I've long ago traced back to a desire for super cold liquids in the area of my throat and neck. Milk is the only thing that satisfies this and when I stop drinking it, I invariably end up bingeing.
Crone Thanks for pointing that out I bet the exercise was one of those lost due to the server problems 3FC was having.
There exercises are getting difficult when you have to figure out the questions besides the answer.
Here it is....
Exercise 24: Beliefs about Bingeing
We have many erroneous beliefs about bingeing: that is it brought on by lack of willpower; that the day after a binge, we must starve ourselves; that once a binge starts, there’s no stopping it. There are other ways to treat bingeing: we can regard it as a way of trying to get our own attention. Or we can decide that after a binge, we are going to be kind to ourselves. We can put down our spoons, if only for three seconds, during binge, and ask ourselves if the food really tastes good – and if we want to go on eating.
Let us examine the erroneous and punitive beliefs we are already holding and discover more tolerant, compassionate counter beliefs with which we can replace them.
Complete the sentences:
1. I believe that
A more compassionate belief would be that
2. I believe that binges are
A more compassionate belief would be that
3. I believe that the reason I binge is
A more compassionate belief would be that
4. I believe that after a binge, I should
A more compassionate belief would be that
5. The next time I binge, I am going to be gentle with myself and
6. On the day after I binge, I am going to be kind to myself and
I agree Crone that not EVERY food craving we have is due to some emotional or psychological reason, sometimes we just need a vitamin or mineral.
That is probably why this weight loss thing is so complicated because we usually try to fix one aspect of ourselves and when we don't get better assume we have failed completely.
With old age I have gotten wiser. I am many things and am working on balance.
I didn't know that 3FC was having server problems. I guess that's why the long reply I posted a few days ago somehow dissapeared!
I believe that when I binge I am a failure.
A more compassionate belief would be that: I have not yet learned the tools I need for dealing with the emotions that set of the binges.
I believe that binges are: disgusting, a lack of self control.
A more compassionate belief would be that I need to feel not numb.
I believe that the reason I binge is: to avoid dealing with situations and feeling the pain.
A more compassionate belief would be that I am learning to trust that I can handle these feelings but it just takes time.
I believe that after a binge I should : be ashamed of myself
A more compassionate belief would be that after each binge it gives me a time of reflection. A chance to learn from my mistakes.
The next time I binge I am going to try and stop myself in the middle for 3 seconds as suggested.
On the day after I binge I am going to try and feel the feelings that caused the binge and not hide from them.
These exercises are awesome. They are very difficult, yet afterwards I feel so enlightened and empowered.
Okay. My answers don't fit the questions exactly, but anyway:
1. I believe that I DO have a pretty good handle on binges and don't react too badly to them. I accept them as a fact of my life. But I wish I could end them forever.
A more compassionate belief would be that I really thought I could end them forever.
2. I believe that binges are, as I said previously, rooted in physical and psychological causes. I also think I don't know all the reasons I have binges (or anyone does).
A more compassionate belief would be that I could someday make sense of it all and that making sense of it would stop the binges.
3. I believe that the reason I binge is complex. More than one factor is at play here.
A more compassionate belief would be that it is all simple and I can understand it if I try.
4. I believe that after a binge, I should remind myself how far I've come in managing my weight and how I have made the choice to live my life at a normal weight, how one bad day, or two, or three are nothing in the whole scheme of things; ease back into my program as quickly as possible without depriving myself. I also think there are specific acts that help, such as drinking lots of water, exercising, planning a few extra treats to eat, reading a book, getting my work done, starting a new tatting project, buying something I want to buy.
A more compassionate belief would be that: I don't think I could be anymore compassionate than that.
5. The next time I binge, I am going to be gentle with myself and stop bingeing as soon as humanly possible so that recovery is faster.
6. On the day after I binge, I am going to be kind to myself and do all of the above! Only more so. It's also important to continue to journal during and after a binge. But a trick I have for easing back after a binge is to journal, BUT have a treat or two that I don't journal. It's my version of cheating, so rather than give up altogether, I just cheat a tiny, tiny bit. Helps sometimes.
One more unsolicited comment about binges: INVARIABLY, if I deny myself a food I crave for too long a time, I end up "eating around it" and then eating it and then bingeing. So, IMO, it's always better to have a little of what you crave (and journal it), even if it's over your calorie or points limit or whatever, than to deny now, binge later.
I read this and think it is a good plan to follow, especially if heading for a binge.
Determine my need:
Feel the feeling- accept the feeling and let it fade.
Express it - talk, write, pray, sing
Get physical - exercise, dance
Learn from it - what could I have done differently
Develope a plan - How will I approach this?
Meet the logical need - if tired, sleep; lonely, call a friend
Do you know a binge is coming or don't you realize it until you are in it, or done with it?
I do generally know when a binge is going to happen. I think on some level I make the decision ahead of time that I'm going to binge, but on another level I believe it is beyond my control and out of my hands.
In reality, though, there always is a moment of choice.
The trick is to identify that moment and find the enthusiasm for the correct choice (which sometimes may BE to have a binge).
Crone I find those questions I posted work for just "snacking" too. I was sitting on the couch watching a movie and thought I needed some popcorn. I "stopped" and talked to myself and decided to stay where I was.
LLB: Good save on the popcorn! Your act of questioning yourself on the popcorn issue must have been just the delaying tactic you needed.
I often use the "Get Physical" part of your plan to fight binges. I use my exercise games (like "Power Charge" or "Hall Treadmill" ... the details of which I will spare you) to divert my attention from the desire to eat, eat, eat. After a short workout, I often feel relaxed enough to be rational about what and how much I desire to eat.
Sometimes it doesn't work, though. Rationality can only go so far with me before the primitive takes over.
I usually find I can talk myself out of a binge but doing some deep breathing. I am imagine I am filling myself up with oxygen. This works quite well.
However, sometimes you just need to binge and NOTHING else is going to satisfy you. I find this happens only when I have PMS. (which is now) I made some Rice Krispies squares with pumpkin seeds and dried cranberries. They were really good but I ended up eating practically the whole pan! I stopped myself in the middle for 3 seconds but still went for it anyway. This is the time that I believe it is something lacking i.e. vitamins or something in my body when I have PMS and I am bingeing to try and replace them. I am going to allow myself these as it is only once a month.
I can forgive myself and know that I am still strong but this is just something my body needs. At least that's what I tell myself now.
There was a point when I could resist even when I had PMS and hopefully I can get back to that point eventually.
What are we really hungry for? Jan 12,2002
