By getting to the root of why you overeat in the first place! "Why Weight," written by Geneen Roth, is a non-diet book that contains exercises designed to help compulsive eaters learn how to stop using food as a substitute for handling difficult emotions or situations. You'll also learn how to enjoy eating and still lose weight naturally. This program offers reassuring guidelines on:
-- kicking the scale-watching habit forever
-- learning to say no
-- discovering other pleasures besides food
-- learning the difference between physical and emotional hunger
-- listening to and trusting your body's hunger and fullness signals
Each week at least one exercise will be posted and you are encouraged to share your answers, thoughts, etc..
Please share any insight, ideas, articles or other information that you may have.
As we are growing up, we often have no choices about the ways in which we are deprived. If our parents were distant or unavailable, if we are physically or emotionally abused, we still needed those parents for our survival. We had to stay where we were. But as adults, we have choices. And, too often, we choose to deprive ourselves in the very ways in which we’ve already been deprived.
In the same ways that diets lead to bingeing, because we are depriving ourselves of the foods we like, depriving ourselves on an emotional level also leads to bingeing. When we deprive ourselves of the things we like to do, when we do not allow ourselves pleasure in daily (not monthly, not yearly) doses, we turn to food.
How do you keep yourself deprived?
Some examples might be: by not going on vacations; by not taking time for yourself every day; by always being in a rush.
Complete the following list: I keep myself deprived by:
4. Always saying I can't afford it. And then ensuring I don't have enough money to afford anything.
5. Not letting myself look as good as I can by remaining overweight.
I just wanted to comment on what Crone and LLB were talking about regarding attention. We all feel we lack it and want more of it and yet feel uncomfortable when we get it. I have found now that I have lost quite a bit of weight and decided to start dressing better even though I'm not at my goal yet I have been getting looks from men and it makes me so uncomfortable I can't stand it. Yet when I was overweight I would give anything to have someone look at me like that. How do we work on this? Any suggestions?
I just love this thread and find all of your posts so helpful.
I wish everyone great success and harmony in 2002!
Oops! I posted on the other thread before I saw this. I like the name, LLB!
Ways I keep myself deprived: Sabotaging my career (so I don't have to deal with being a success); sabotaging relationships (so I don't have to worry if they don't work out later); not fixing things in my house (so they won't break again); not crying when I am sad or laughing when I am happy (ice cream is better); not enjoying myself when I have the chance (as in climbing the walls at 1 a.m. thinking about FOOD when I could be tatting, studying, reading a mystery novel, taking a stroll in the moonlight, and lots of other great things); eating donuts (it's really spelled doughnuts, but I like the short form better) when I truly would prefer to eat an apple.
This list is lengthy, so I'll spare you the rest!
Sprite: I kind of like it when I get "looks!"
But I do think you've hit upon one of the problems that often comes up after a large weight loss. There's a period of adjustment to living life in a different sort of body and it can take some time. My only suggestion is to just enjoy the journey.
The more I think about it I deprive myself of a lot . This weight has just helped me so I don't have to 'join in'. It gives me a good excuse in my head to not participate.
Before this thread I thought is was just the weight but ...... now these questions are showing me it is much more than just being over weight.
I just felt like thanking all of you out there for being part of this thread because I don't think I would get as much out of just reading the book alone nor would I put so much thought into the exercies.
LLB, I share your view that I'm learning it's about more than my weight. I'm so grateful for this thread!
A very attractive man flirted with me in the grocery store the other night -- tall, dark, handsome -- just like I have at home (but not the tall part; make that "taller than me") -- and I really enjoyed it. It gave my ego a huge boost and made me realize that I don't have to hide behind all this weight. I have a lot of shame issues to deal with, so it all gets tangled up.
I keep myself deprived by --
Not taking time for me, even to put on make up most days.
Believing the old saw "when I get thin, I'll--"
Dancing around the edges of life because I'm too scared to dive in.
Not losing weight so I don't have to get a better job (we all know they discriminate right? -- oh, sure...)
being mean to myself -- the negative self-talk
working on the mechanics of intimacy and sidestepping the emotional part.
This exercise was an icy knife for me -- really hard. But I am so glad to be seeing what my actions are so that I can find ways to heal. You all are a tremendous help.
Why didn't I find this thread sooner? It is so interesting and sort of my way of doing things. Although I use some diet products it is more for convinience than to follow "the plan"
Sprite I know how you feel about the attention. A guy I like is always looking back at me and I can't even look him in the eye! I always think well he won't be interested because he is so good looking and I'm fat. I'm not giving up though. I'm not that fat and I've got lots more than just my body.
So How do I deprive myself? Well unfortunatly not as much as I should Or I wouldn't have this problem!
Ok lets be serious now:
1 I give in and eat the whole bag when I know I'll just regret it and deprive myself of feeling good about not eating it all.
2 By not allowing myself to aknowlage my own achievments when they are noticed bysomeone else.
3 By wearing my old clothes to the store when I could dress up for the sheer fun of it.
4 By not trying to get the guy because I'm afraid he might reject me.
ps I am a young widdow who had a terrific marriage so I am also worried that another could not be as good as the first.
5 By settling for less than I deserve in many things.
6 by giving so much to others that there is nothing left for myself.
I didn't think I could do this but it was helpful. I am so glad I found this thread!
Welcome, CowGirl. Sometimes the questions get difficult but then those are probably the ones we need to answer all the more.
I think the "depriving" of not living life but being a "watcher" is really bugging me. I don't want to waste this life I have. I don't know exactly what to do but I do keep thinking!
Do you notice how we seem to deprive ourselves in the same way?
I posted this on another thread but want to share it here because it seems to fit:
I read this in a magazine:
Break out of the box Draw a box. Inside write down 10 to 15 facts about you: where you live, who you love, the last book you read. Notice an absence of the unexpected? Outside the box, jot down new things to learn: waltzing, making sushi, sign language. Then don't just think outside the box, go there.
I am going to do this today including health and exercise as something I definately need to "break out of the box" to get and stay healthy.
Hey, Cowgirl! Welcome! Glad you found the thread. I noticed you and LuckyLadyBug have breathed life into the SlimFast thread. Keep up your good work and congrats on the weight loss!!
LLB, LOVE the new avatar! She is just gorgeous!
Your line about how we deprive ourselves is so very, very true. I went back and reviewed everyone's posts and you are absolutely right.
This is the hardest work I've ever done. I think about the questions and answers a lot, and how the negatives have been allowed to taint my life, and also the positives to show that I' making progress.
Remember that old TV show, "You Asked For It?" The sponsor was Skippy peanut butter, and I think that's where I got hooked on "putty."
Anyway, here's the skinny on the program you asked about...
Quote:
If you are presently unhappy with your weight, health, and appearance, I am going to make an assumption: You lack a plan. The Business Plan for the Body is the first book to apply the concepts of a business plan to a successful weight loss strategy. The first chapters of the book are the research and development phase of the plan. Business plans traditionally start out with a Mission Statement, so that is Chapter 1. Companies research "the competition" in their industry; I did that for you in Chapter 2. In Chapter 3, "Going Public," I urge you to be open, honest and publicize -- something few people do -- your intention to go into the weight-loss business. (up to now, we've been in the weight-gain business). Chapter 4, "The Management Team," discusses the importance of educating and including those around you in the development and administration of your plan. "The Financials," Chapter 5, presents the reality of weight loss by the numbers.
Following the R&D phase, you enter the actual execution of the plan. You implement a proper combination of eating and exercise, Chapter 6, "Revenue Allocation," and Chapter 7, "Preservation of Capital," to facilitate weight loss. Chapter 8, "Establishing Realistic Investment Goals," encourages you to set weight-loss goals that can be attained. With your plan in action, you move to Chapter 9, "It's Starting to Work: Taking It on the Road: Keeping it Going" which explores changing environments and introduces the concept of "progression." The plan concludes with Chapter 10, "I did it! I did it!" which prepares you to live with your success, both physically and emotionally.
The book is on sale at Barnes & Noble; I bought mine and couldn't put it down. For exercise, he recommends bands and tubes; I use the Tonin' Uptown and Downtown by Richard Simmons until I get stronger, then will change to something else. He also stresses changing your exercise program every three months so your body doesn't plateau. The exercise is gentle, non-sweaty, and feels like it's working.
Thanks for asking! If you want to do the program, we could maybe have a thread someplace. You are very welcome to any knowledge I have of the program.
I have this book, too, and like it. It is sensible and addresses what IMO is the most basic fact of weight management ... calories in, calories out, you have to do the math. The website has a calculator for figuring out calories needed. I think many people try to lose weight on too few calories and this could be helpful.
I thought I saw a thread on 3FC for this but may be mistaken (often am)!
What are we really hungry for? Jan 6, 2002
