I hate this feeling. I'm getting in one of those "moods." I haven't been in them all summer, but now being back on campus, around everyone they're coming back. I'm just feeling all this pressure again, the pressure to do well in my classes, to get to the gym when I have it scheduled, to be this "ideal" person. And I just don't like it. I know its bad for me, I know it! Its so counter-productive, because all I'll do it mope around my room wondering why I can't be this girl I want to be, or need to be. I'm so ready to change my face hurts! LOL (What a weird thing to say) but I don't know I'm just... SO TIRED OF MYSELF!!!
Do you ever get that feeling? When you're just tired of your life, your excuses, your "place" (meaning in a group, like the fat girl, the single one, etc) GAAAAAH! Can't handle it. Plus, when will I STOP looking at others' and being so negative and judgemental yet jealous, and look at MYSELF and change and better myself!!
trust me I know the feeling "if you can't be perfect you might as well not do anything at all" but trust me no one is perfect not even that really cute skinny girl with the size 2 jeans. you have to work on being the best you you can be. yes I know that sounds sooooooooo corny and you're probably like "yeah whatever" but it's true what I would do is set mini goals for yourself so instead of saying "oh I have to lose 70 lbs OMG!!!!" work on making it to one smaller goal celbrate that then move on to the next. I hope that helped ya doll
Dreamer, I was like you, still am sometimes, but what you're feeling should force you to start the change! It's not going to happen if you just sit and wait for it, right? When you feel like that, go for a run, a walk, drink water instead of pop...you have to do this change for YOU, because YOU want to, nobody else! That's very important.
I do get tired of the same old thing day after day, and being the person I am, and for a long time I felt stuck. But now I realize that the power to do something about it is in MY hands. Change how I think first, then follow it by action. The only person you need to worry about making happy, is YOU! Hard lesson to learn sometimes!
I am exactly the same boat as you Dreamer 85 -- sometimes I hate that I let myself reach this weight. I am in class and swear that I am one of the fattest people in my class. I don't get it -- why does it seem so easy for most of the girls to maintain an ideal weight and for me it is so far. I am tired of starting a diet and then quiting. I am tired of not buying new clothes because I hate going a size larger. I am so tired of always planning to lose weight but being unable to.
Dreamer I felt the same way when all of the students came back to campus. Just seeing all the other girls wearing short skirts and tank tops made me feel very very overweight. Not that I can wear that to work, but it would be nice to wear a fitted suit or skirt. So I decided then that I was going to do something about it. For two weeks I have been hitting the gym and watching my diet. It is all about what I can do to achieve my goals. Don't get discouraged let be a motivation to exercise.
Seriously, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. You're all right, I just need to get over this, and CHANGE. And such a good time too. I'm trying to work on all my "blah feelings." I even hit up the gym today! I also decided I'm going to start working on non-scale victories over the number on the scale. I have a pair of really nice jeans my grandmother bought for me last christmas, and I'm 4-6 sizes too large for them right now... And they are those fashionable way-too expensive designer jeans, and I'm really just hoping to get into them. So that's the goal, that and just writing down my feelings and forcing myself to do something when I feel down has helped... Hopefully, I can keep this up, coming to the board helps
Yeah, its the same for me, I see all these little girls on campus, and it just reminds me of how much I don't take care of myself. Weight included, but mostly like WHY AM I NOT DRESSING NEAT? CUTE? WHY DIDN'T I GET UP 30 MINS EARLIER TO FIX MY HAIR? HAHAHA... WHY DIDN'T I TAKE A SHOWER AT LEAST?
When I was in school I really could care less about what I wore. Everyone else was so focused on what they looked like, and such, I was more concerned about not failing my next class! It just depends what is a priority for you I think. For me it wasn't. I've never been "trendy" or worried about being fashionable...like most of the girls at school... Choose your priorities that are important to YOU, not anyone else, or not by anyone elses standards but your own. If you compare yourself to other people constantly, then it won't matter how much weight you lose or what you look like, you'll always find something else to compare, does that make sense??
It's a mental game! But it is winnable ....is that even a word??? LOL! Anyway... start, and see what happens, and if you need support, that's what we are here for!
I can relate so much. I just started the other day and seeing everyone on campus in their clothes that I've only dreamed of, and the ease they seem to be at leaves me feeling incredibly insecure. It's like the comparison monster gets going in my head without me even hearing it. Clothes, appearance, even socially speaking... I'm finding it difficult. Plus the pressure to do well at school, and on top of that the pressure to go to the gym - it is a lot. Though I think it's becoming easier as I accept it more...
I don't get it -- why does it seem so easy for most of the girls to maintain an ideal weight and for me it is so far.
I just want to add my 2c here!! It does seem easy, BUT from my experience they are probably not healthy or have a healthy relationship with food etc etc. Just out of my college dorm, we have a few examples. Me being the largest - I ate well (I mean healthily), went to the gym ALL THE TIME, cooked most things from scratch etc. Then, we have the thin girls; One only ate tomatoes and rusks and white bread. No kidding! She had proper eating disorder-type thing going on!!! One used laxatives after junk-food binging! One was "allergic" to wheat and dairy One ate mostly what she wanted but ended up gaining weight "because of the BC pill". Another, who was relatively fit and used to be very into Martial Arts ate very healthily and was quite balanced in that area.
So you see, out of the few girls I knew, most of them were dissordered eaters to a certain extent. Even if some-one is portraying the "it's so easy to be thin" thing. They are generally going through **** inside
IMHO healthy is the ONLY way to go - for happy heads, happy hearts and happy everything else! And yes, it's hard - but I'd rather do healthy over pills/eating only tomatoes/having mystery food intollerances....
If you compare yourself to other people constantly, then it won't matter how much weight you lose or what you look like, you'll always find something else to compare, does that make sense??
You really nailed it there Canadian_Mickey. When you compare yourself the list never stops.
I feel your pain Dreamer85! I'm guessing that you resent having to these things to be "normal" or "good". Maybe that you feel "forced" to these things? When we're forced do things we don't want to do, it saps our energy and we don't enjoy doing them. In life there are things you want to do, and things you have to do. The trick is to figure out how to WANT to do these things you have to do. (is this getting complicated? ) Then you'll start enjoying yourself!
Maybe the reasons you have for losing weight, being active etc. aren't your true desires. Figure out why you WANT to do it- not why you think you should do it.
I don't want my last comment to confuse people. Its not that I really don't like myself, and I don't really compare myself to other women. Being the "girl I want to be" means being someone that I can be happy with. I don't like to compare myself to other women, I look to other women mostly as admiration.
Me taking care of myself, stems from the fact that I'm getting over a lot of mental and emotional issues. I've been in horrible relationships, horrible friendships, and I've struggled with low self-esteem for awhile. My ideal person isn't one that is skinny, blonde, and beautiful... Its just someone who is happy, or takes care of what they need to. stands up for herself, takes care of herself… For some reason when I schedule a day to attend all my classes, catch up on some reading and get to bed before midnight… I end up missing class, watching television all day and going to bed at 4am… I don’t get it?
The idea of people coming back on campus, well people just annoy me. I start feeling all the pressure of other people, does that make sense? Not physically, but people, well... I have a very negative cynical view of people. I think some people are so shallow and superficial, so transparent... And I just get stressed sometimes having to put on this fake personality and being congenial to everyone. I go to a large college campus, that’s pretty much like high school. Even w/ 30,000 people.
Yeah, I could get away from it all, focus my attention elsewhere, but being alone kind of sucks.
Gettin' in that slump
One ate mostly what she wanted but ended up gaining weight "because of the BC pill". Another, who was relatively fit and used to be very into Martial Arts ate very healthily and was quite balanced in that area.
