[kimpo101]

Wow it would be great if there were a pill to take care of just about all of our issues (weightloss, hair loss, etc). Well today I saw a friend who had gastric bypass surgery about a year ago and she looked horrible. I recall that several months after the surgery she was having problems with hair loss and several other things. She had been overweight for many many years and decided to do the surgery. After the surgery she didnt follow the doctors instructions which led to the hair loss problems and she didnt follow the excercise routine which led to the enevidable (sp) chicken wings. Is it worth it to have the surgery and then not follow the instructions of your doctor and not to excercise once the weight starts comming off? Also her attitude seemed to change and she only wanted to be around her new skinny friends. People who would not have been her friend if she were still fat. I know that weightloss changes us physically and also mentally but shouldnt it be for the better? I think if you were my friend when you were fat shouldnt you still be my friend when you are skinny even though I am not skinny YET? I guess im just rambling on. Lack of sleep and lots on the mind. Kimberly

[Misti in Seattle]

I don't think surgery automatically changes us for the better especially if we don't follow what our doctors tell us to do. And no, surgery is not going to give us better personalities. How we act is up to us.

Just my opinion.

[thistoo]

Amy Wilensky wrote a memoir on this very subject, it's called The Weight Of It. I haven't read it yet, but it's gotten interesting reviews. It's about her sister's WLS and the changes in her personality and their relationship. It's on my 'to read' list as I mainline all the weight loss memoirs in the library system.

There's also a novel called Conversations With the Fat Girl by Liza Palmer, told from the point of view of an overweight woman whose best friend undergoes WLS and changes much the way you're describing your friend. Not sure if those would interest you, but they're worth checking out at the library.

I'm sorry your friend has changed so much since her own WLS. That's a shame and I imagine in the long run she'll be regaining some of her weight, since she's not following doctor's orders. Thankfully you are taking a healthier route, and you know that you'll be true to yourself and respectful of the process in the long run : )

[MelodyL]

I also read Conversations with a Fat Girl, it was a good book and definately showed how someone can go through a transformation like that and then you realize how they really are. Her friend had really always had the same personality, it was just harder to notice when they were both struggling with the same thing.

Like others said, Weight Loss Surgery is not going to fix everything, it can be a great tool when used appropriately and taken seriously. I used to work with someone who had it done and then would eat things they weren't supposed to eat and go in the bathroom and throw up, it was disgusting and definately not healthy. But there are others who follow the guidelines and take it very seriously and do wonderfully. It's too bad that your friend is going to miss out on some great friendships and is ruining her health.

[ScarlettDrawl]

One of my best friends is considering wls (I guess past considering since she has insurance approval). While I support her in her decision, I really hope she understands the seriousness of it. I've seen people with good results but I've also seen many who abuse food (despite the illness it causes them), not take their supplements, and not work out only to end up looking far worse than they did to start. I think some people go into it with the mindset of now I'll get skinny, now I can hang with skinny people, now I'll be ok. I think that's all wrong and so sad.

[trishn222]

I think you need to think about it very seriously before you have wls. I had a friend go in for it and end up in a coma for 9 months. They could not wake him up out of the surgery. It scares me to think that this surgery is one that people think will solve everything. I have known many people that got this surgery and have only know 1 person that followed orders and has kept the weight off. I think maybe those other people were not ready for a lifestyle change they just wanted the magic pill that saw the fat melt off. No thank you. As for personality changes obviously they were not a good person and probably fake to begin with. They probably also don't know how to handle there new selves.

Trish

[ChocLabLover]

Originally Posted by trishn222

I think maybe those other people were not ready for a lifestyle change they just wanted the magic pill that saw the fat melt off. Trish

I was about to the post the exact same thing. I think WLS is like every other method of weight loss. It is a personal choice and it is a lifestyle change. There is no such thing as a magic pill to weight loss and for me the compromises you need to make with your lifestyle for WLS is too much of a sacrifice for me. I may lose the weight slower, but I do not need to worry about side effects, recovery from major surgery and taking supplements for the rest of my life (IMHO of course, ).

I am sorry that your friend's personality has changed so much since her surgery. It could be a lot of things, insecurites coming to the fore, proving to herself that she is "thin" person now, if that makes any sense.